Wisconsin Farmer Loses Penis After Calf Bites It Off

Submitted by: daegog 4 weeks ago in News & Politics



[Editor's note: Once again, Daegog comes through for us in finding some of the world's most bizarre news stories. -Squrlz.]

By: Daniel Lee
From: CBS News 15

A 54-year old Eau Claire, Wisconsin farmer is recovering in hospital with serious injuries after he tried to get a calf at his dairy farm to suck on it.

The incident happened earlier this week and involved the farmer, Frank Williamson, and a calf at his farm. Paramedics were called to the farm by his distraught wife after he told her to dial 911.

"On arrival, they were shocked to find that the male victim had his penis completely severed," said one ambulance spokesman. "When asked what had happened, he initially claimed he'd injured himself on some farm machinery, but then his wife revealed that he had a habit of putting his penis into the mouths of calves at the farm."

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There are 26 comments:
Male 356
https://hoax-alert.leadstories.com/3470011-fake-news-eau-claire-wi-farmer-loses-penis-after-calf-bites-it-off.html
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Male 10,070
mystreT Yes, I happened across this information yesterday. That’s twice in one week I’ve been taken in by hoaxes. Everyone’s been having so much fun with this, I haven’t been willing to say anything.
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Male 2,468
"Mom,  this milk tastes funny"
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Male 46,093
 I love it when you fuck them in the nose as the calf licks your balls.


did I say that out loud ?
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Male 2,468
Gerry1of1  Gerry, you haven't been on a roll like this in years. 
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Male 46,093
woodyville06 What can I say, cows inspire me.

Not like they inspire that farmer.... perv
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Male 725
Gerry1of1 yeah, real loud.  Heard it up here in Canada.
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Male 9,621
His wife knew that he did this habitually? The fact that he had retained his dick up until this point suggests she was a very tolerant woman, or that's what I choose to believe.

To be fair, he hasn't been charged (yet) so I think identifying him was unkind, to say the least.
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Male 725
LordJim Hey, it's one less chore she has to do around the farm.
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Male 46,093
Okay, I'll stop now..... wait! One more

   Something in the way she moo's
   Attracts me like no udder lover
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Male 885
Gerry1of1 How many rodeo clowns would it take to steer this conversation back on track? It's teat-ering on the verge of ridiculous.
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Female 6,818
Gerry1of1 You're really milking this 
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Male 2,345
Gerry1of1 "Okay, I'll stop now..... wait! One more"

Alright, but just the tip.
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Male 46,093
At least he didn't try putting it in the calf's  angus.
If the dickless farmer can't find them the other calves will be safe.
Perhaps we should caMOOflauge them



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Male 46,093
If the calf gets constipated you could say he was    cock blocked



I crack myself up sometimes
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Male 46,093
                  Ground Beef

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Male 46,093
You could say his penis was   decalfinated



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Male 10,070
Gerry1of1 You totally got me with that one. *snort*
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Male 10,070
Some of the quotes after the jump of this story are all-time greats:

  • "Sometimes [the calves] can be quite upset and I find giving them my penis helps put them in a calmer mood" (quoth the farmer).
  • "We believe the calf swallowed it and it would be completely digested by now" (quoth authorities).
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Male 1,210
Calves have teeth! Who knew, I certainly didn't... zips trousers up.
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Male 10,070
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Male 1,210
squrlz4ever That's a fair set of teeth, cow's udders must be made of steel.
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Male 619
Dumbass........
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Male 9,621
It seems investigators are looking into possible charges. Under the circumstances I'd be inclined to just let it go. It's not as though he is likely to re-offend.
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Male 2,568
LordJim His fucking face should be plastered on every medium available as well as every other animal abuser, child abuser, spousal abuser, etc...
I have zero tolerance for sick, twisted, abusive fucks. 
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Male 9,621
oobaka Due process, pal.
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