Man Who Killed His Wife With His Massive Dong Uses "Big Penis" Defense, Found Not Guilty

Submitted by: daegog 4 months ago in News & Politics Weird

The Chewbacca defense works again!

An excerpt from the New York Post: The Florida man who claimed his girlfriend choked to death during oral sex was found not guilty of second-degree murder Monday.

Richard Patterson, 65, of Margate, was acquitted of killing 60-year-old girlfriend Francisca Marquinez in 2015 after a week-long trial, according to the Sun Sentinel.

During the trial, his lawyers initially argued that Marquinez died accidentally while performing oral sex on him at her apartment.

To bolster their defense, Patterson’s lawyers filed a motion to show his penis to the jury.

But after a medical expert testified that choking during the sex act was unlikely, the defense reversed course on the theory. The judge never ruled on the request to put Patterson’s member on display in court.

“That’s not the way she died,” defense lawyer Ken Padowitz said. “But that’s the way Richard Patterson thought she died.”

Instead, the defense argued that there was no way of knowing how she died. Medical examiners never determined the cause of death because Marquinez’s body was too decomposed.

“They still don’t know how she died,” said Padowitz, according to the Sun Sentinel.
There are 27 comments:
Female 5,279
wot?
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Male 9,481
Supposedly "massive dong." Not that I want to see any proof, mind you.
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Male 1,864
Made me think of this

Squirrel don't delete its not spam
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Male 9,481
marsii ~Squrlz silently points to missing avatar and scowls~
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Male 2,167
Do you think 'Richard' is his real name or a nom du guerre?
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Male 2,755
"(2) The unlawful killing of a human being, when perpetrated by any act imminently dangerous to another and evincing a depraved mind regardless of human life, although without any premeditated design to effect the death of any particular individual, is murder in the second degree and constitutes a felony of the first degree, punishable by imprisonment for a term of years not exceeding life or as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084."
  That's the Florida statute that covers and defines second degree murder.
  I guess sense he did confess to chocking her on his member, I can only figure that the prosecution did not prove "depraved mind regardless of human life" but in my mind he fell into that when he obviously did not stop when she would have become unconscious, and I find it hard to believe that he would not have realized something was wrong. And then let her sit until she started to decompose.
  After going threw the statutes I could not find any that covered the act of killing someone between 18 and whatever there definition of an elderly person is by negligence at all. which is what this would be (I'm not a lawyer and may have just mist it), she may have fallen under manslaughter of an elderly person. But it looks to me that the district attorney and or the State of Florida failed to have a law on the books or this district attorney failed to charge him with the proper crime or just blew it all together. (excuse me) 
  But is is clear that the law failed to protect and punish in this case.
  He admitted to killing her for christ sake and called it an accident, 
    Give me a break. 
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Male 45,594
He's a real lady killer. 




I'm sorry, I'll go to my corner now.
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Male 9,481
I probably shouldn't judge a person's character by his or her face--but look at that set, belligerent jaw and those eyes that seem to have flashes of anger in them. I'm usually good at reading faces because the truth is this: The predominant emotion a person carries around in his or her heart and mind is eventually reflected in the face. And this man's face suggests to me he's carrying a lot of anger around, like a bomb liable to go off without warning.
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Male 876
squrlz4ever if this is his booking photo, it might explain the expression.
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Male 9,481
skeeter01 I think it is, and you might be right. I'm going to go out on a limb, however, and suggest he has that same expression an awful lot of the time.
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Male 876
squrlz4ever I don't doubt you are correct.  I came to pretty much the same conclusion using a different set of tests: 1) Does this person have gray hair?  If yes, that means he's likely a baby-boomer. 2) is that person doing (or has s/he recently done) something really stupid?  If yes, it means he almost certainly a "Trumpeter" - a term from my lexicon that has only recently come to mean "people with very few (if any) redeeming qualities who possess extremely high levels of hate and fear."
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Male 2,167
squrlz4ever "...he's carrying a lot of anger around..."

He does look like a sexist pig. Do you think he killed her because she got too cheeky?
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Male 9,481
semichisam01 I won't speculate that far. I'll only say that it would not surprise me to learn that he killed her in a fit of rage over something.
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Male 2,825
squrlz4ever Ever heard of the cock of the walk? If old Thwack there is as big as he says then the attitude is all his. I don't want to get tea bagged by him!
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Male 7,258
squrlz4ever I dunno, you looked pretty damned murderous from time to time as well

 
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Male 9,481
daegog Well, that's a ground squirrel, not yours truly. But yes, I have my moments.

Top Five Things That Piss Squrlz Off

1. Being told I'm not allowed in the local Starbucks if there are any other customers inside. ACLU notified.

2. Mothers to children offering food: "Don't--he might have rabies."

3. Lack of squirrel-size regulation footballs.

4. On IAB: "Squirrels don't have thumbs."

5. Malodorous possums that keep climbing up my tree in the middle of the night, waking me up, and giving me weird stares.
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Male 2,167
squrlz4ever "Lack of squirrel-size regulation footballs."

You could knit one. This example might be too small to hold the NPL logo.

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Male 9,481
semichisam01 That looks comfy, yes. But it has to be pigskin. *oink* *oink*  I liked your black walnuts in the husk from the other day. One of those could be pared down a bit and given a pigskin cover and laces. That would be the right weight, look, and feel, I think.

And, if I mess up and the coach calls me off the field, I'll have a snack right there, ready to go. (Snacking is a high priority for squirrels. We're the original "grazers.")
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Male 2,167
squrlz4ever "it has to be pigskin."
You're getting pretty bloodthirsty for a vegan mammal. It would probably have to be from a suckling or a weaner to be thin enough for that small a ball. (no offense intended)
I had second thoughts about using a walnut, because I would have to prepare 11 of them: one to run with; one to eat now; and 9 to bury and forget the location of three. But if you insist...
You didn't ask about the NPL logo: That would be, of course, the National Pawball League. Now, I understand that you might be offended at being offered a League of Your Own, but have you seen those cleats?
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Male 9,481
semichisam01 LOL! I was this close to inquiring about the "NPL." You're a careful writer and I figured it wasn't a typo.

Regarding a separate squirrel league: Well, yes. It would be a bit safer for the squirrel athletes. Your point about human football cleats is a good one. On the other paw, this would mean I would not get to enjoy close contact with the NFL cheerleaders, of whom I am particularly fond.

Pigskins should be lovingly harvested only from piglets who've died in their sleep after a brief, but comfortable life consisting of daily massages, good food, and an occasional sip of port. The synthetic pigskin just doesn't feel the same, I'm afraid.

GO, TEAM! For some squirrel football players, NFL cheerleaders may outweigh the risks of getting stomped on by a football player's cleats.
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Male 2,167
squrlz4ever I must admit that I find your continuing forays into bestiality a bit troubling. It is, of course, none of my business, but you must have noted that these cheerleaders have up-armored their ankles. They are onto you, my bushy-tailed friend.
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Male 62
I guess this truly is the real life case of Miss Chokes on dick. South Park predicted the future..sort of.
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Male 2,167
It astounds me that the jury would swallow this story, without even viewing the evidence. Why couldn't he have used the Heimlich Maneuver?
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Female 6,689
semichisam01 heh... swallow
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Male 876
wait... she "was too decomposed" to be able to determine the manner of death?  How long did Mr. Schlong wait before telling someone she died?  Did he really just assume she fell asleep afterwards?  Something is rotten in the state of Denmark - or wherever this happened.
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Male 2,167
skeeter01 "or wherever this happened."

Is anyone surprised that this happened in Florida? As for the state of decay, it may have taken him a while to notice that she had died. 
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Male 18,342
semichisam01 he was probably revelling in the peace and quiet
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