Pregnant Squirrel Craves Peanuts

Submitted by: scheckydamon 1 year ago in Funny


Now we know what Squrlz4ever does. Love 'em and leave 'em.
There are 17 comments:
Male 2,018
They're so cute. They are smart though.  If you start handing out scalding hot acorns, eventually they stop coming back.
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Male 13,505
Chupmunks around here will sometimes come up and take a peanut if you offer it to them.  
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Male 10,079
NOT MY BABY MAMA! I haven't been to anyplace with palm trees in some time. I will admit, however, that I tend to be a "Wham-bam-thank-you-Ma'm!" kind of lover. Most of us male squirrels are, alas.

Cue music. (Notice how all the men in the audience are nodding and smiling, while the women seem to be thinking, "WTF? This song absolutely sucks.")

Sadly, this kind of behavior on the part of male squirrels tends to result in lots of single-mama squirrels, many of whom resort to pole dancing and lap dances to pay the bills. Don't believe them when they tell you they're going to nursing school. Most of them have three or four pups back at the nest and anything extra they earn goes for a pistachio addiction.
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Male 2,473
squrlz4ever so, pole dancing is what's going on at at my bird feeder?  I didn't notice the thong and F-me pumps:)

P. S. You seem to know an awful lot about the squirrel-sex scene.  Does Mrs Squirrel know?  Want to make sure it stays that way?  Catch my drift?
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Male 10,079
woodyville06 Hah. I am one paw ahead of you. There is no Mrs. Squrlz. Like virtually all Eastern Gray Squirrels, I am a bachelor. If I were to enter into monogamy, it would probably be with either Maddie or Emmettyville. Alas, one of them is on the other side of the pond and the other's on the other side of the world.
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Female 1,453
squrlz4ever You want to be careful squrlz..You don’t wanna end up with having to paying kit support..All of your hard earned acorns will end up going to a sow that will use it to get her hair,tail, and nails did...
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Male 10,079
pinkminx22 ~hugs acorns~ I hadn't thought of that!  O.O
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Male 3,055
squrlz4ever All knutz and no beef, eh? And here I thought you were a real cheeze steak kind of squrl.
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Male 326
Rats with fuzzy tails. 
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Male 46,107
Typical! 
Preggers, no baby daddy in sight and demanding a free hand-out.

This is what's wrong with America.
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Male 326
Gerry1of1 Bwahaha!
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Male 4,559
Kind of reminds me of how I got a hummingbird to land on my finger.

We always put up a feeder for the summertime. One day, I was sitting on the patio, I think I was playing on a handheld, and the hummingbird would come and visit. He would, at first, take a sip and then fly away. But the longer I sat there, the longer each of his visits would be. Eventually, I started inching my way closer to the feeder, until I was right underneath it. Next, I would stand up right next to the feeder. He kept coming by. It got to the point where I would stick my finger right next to the feeder, and he would land on it to feed. Of course, at first, he was very apprehensive, but the longer I just stood there, the longer he would feed.
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Male 3,055
DuckBoy87 Yea, but you didn't knock it up did you?
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Male 4,559
scheckydamon Did I knock up the male hummingbird? No.

However, I did find a baby hummingbird on that same patio. Tried to feed it, but had to go to work. Came back, and it had died. It was just a little round fluffball that had been doomed on my patio.
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Male 3,055
DuckBoy87 You missed the double meaning about Squrlz4ever. 
     I have lots of fun with the hummingbirds on our front porch. I have feeders out for 8 months or so. They'll fly up, start to eat and notice me in the rocking chair. The fly right up to my face, maybe a foot away, and chirp at me. I really enjoy them. They were in Florida where I lived before but never saw them. We have a large summer population and I always leave one feeder out late in the year for the stragglers that migrate down to central America and beyond. Haven't got any to sit on a finger yet. 
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Male 21,778
Ah ha, now I know why I find peanut shells randomly around my backyard -- I just found one a few days ago. Someone in the neighborhood must leave peanuts out for the locals. 
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Male 3,055
fancylad Baiting the ladies?
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