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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 from Uno, and a monopoly `Get Out Of Jail Free` card.
Those are my favorites.
"Chuck Norris can divide by zero.""Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken`s famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.""If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever."
"Chuck Norris can devide by zero."
"Chuck Norris CAN believe it`s not butter."
And finally..."Chuck Norris can find the sqaure root of a negative number."
But there are better ones out there.
"Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head."
"Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK`s head exploded out of sheer amazement."
Happy 66th, Chuck. Try not to kill anyone today.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Awww, I feel so loved. :)
haha Chuck Norris is sooo cool
"There is no such thing as the theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allowed to live."
And the lord said "Let there be light," Chuck Norris then said "Say please!"
But still quite funny.
and now i have that sweet, sweet memory