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American Jewish Man Gets Queen's Guard To Crack

Hits: 4819 | Rating: (2.5) | Category: Misc. | Added by: iansquall
Jump to: Bottom    Last Post
Thonious
Male, 40-49, Western US
 954 Posts
Monday, March 17, 2014 9:30:12 PM
TheZigRat, the Guards are not James Bond, they do not have a "license to kill," although under certain circumstances they may have a duty to kill. More particularly, they have a duty to do what is necessary and appropriate to protect the royal family and residence and certain other properties.

Interfering with the Guard while on duty can result in arrest. He has a series of protocols to deal with nuisances, including a discreet method of calling for assistance.

As far as I know, they are not formally punished for smiling, or even laughing, while on post, but they take pride in their stoicism.

phirephoto
Male, 30-39, Western US
 326 Posts
Monday, March 17, 2014 11:37:41 AM
@whodat6484 aargh character limit: check the jokes here

phirephoto
Male, 30-39, Western US
 326 Posts
Monday, March 17, 2014 11:36:35 AM
@whodat6484:
The CIA has three candidates, two men and a woman, for one assassin position.

On the final day of testing, the CIA proctor leads the first male candidate to a large steel door and hands him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions, regardless of the circumstances," he explains. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The man is horrified, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!"

"Well," says the proctor, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

The CIA proctor leads the second male candidate to another large steel door and hands him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions, no matter what the circumstances," the proctor explains. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The second man steadies hi

furrything
Male, 50-59, Europe
 936 Posts
Monday, March 17, 2014 7:35:28 AM
...."he has a wife, you know!"
...."Incontinentia!"

McGovern1981
Male, 30-39, Eastern US
 13611 Posts
Monday, March 17, 2014 6:04:35 AM
Stupid defined. Leaving an antiquated tradition of a guard with just a sword goose stepping around who is said can't laugh for a useless royal family. You wonder why people try to make them laugh it begs for it.

Draculya
Male, 40-49, Asia
 12748 Posts
Monday, March 17, 2014 12:59:27 AM
I recommend sniper cover. One shot one tourist.

MelCervini
Female, 40-49, Eastern US
 1414 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 10:45:50 PM
Lando.. I thought Elton John WAS the Queen of England? *rimshot* thank you! i'll be here all week

edana42
Female, 50-59, Eastern US
 2505 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 9:30:40 PM
Aw, I hope the poor guy didnt get fired

Draculya
Male, 40-49, Asia
 12748 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 9:01:20 PM
You should try this in North Korea.

LandoGriffin
Male, 30-39, Western US
 4832 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 8:36:11 PM
For some reason this reminds me of a remark I heard, although I can't remember where I heard it. Imagine if, God forbid, the Queen of England was attacked. Then, the knights who have sworn with their lives to defend her would be required by duty to leap into action and subdue the attacker.

Then, in the right situation, you just might see Sir Elton John, Sir Paul McCartney, and Sir Mick Jagger have to kick someone's ass!

Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
 33911 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 8:07:51 PM

@ whodat - well they aught to be allowed to shoot tourists.

TheZigRat
Male, 50-59, Eastern US
 1691 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 7:41:11 PM
im kidding btw He wouldn't have killed his parents to get in the marines. He would kill them for the bus money.

TheZigRat
Male, 50-59, Eastern US
 1691 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 7:31:52 PM
"Reminds me of all the sh*t we used to hear when we trained and served with other countries armys in Iraq/Afghan. The most common one was, "I heard that to be a Marine you had to kill a member of your family to prove your loyalty."
I think a guy I knew from college is in serious trouble... He was trying to join the Marines but he was a bit psyco too.

whodat6484
Male, 30-39, Eastern US
 3745 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 6:43:47 PM
"He could blow the tourists head off and very few questions would be asked..."

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Do you believe every urban legend you hear? Guards who are standing post need a legit reason to use deadly force, they can't just kill a tourist for being annoying.

Reminds me of all the sh*t we used to hear when we trained and served with other countries armys in Iraq/Afghan. The most common one was, "I heard that to be a Marine you had to kill a member of your family to prove your loyalty."

TheZigRat
Male, 50-59, Eastern US
 1691 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 6:23:01 PM
I know a a man who was kicked in the groin by one for "accidently touching a guard on duty.

QueenZira
Female, 18-29, Midwest US
 2181 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 6:18:08 PM
Is that personal experience I hear there Zigrat?

TheZigRat
Male, 50-59, Eastern US
 1691 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 5:12:11 PM
Poeople should realize that Those guards all have licenses to kill. He could blow the tourists head off and very few questions would be asked, These are highly trained guards with an extreme amount od discipline and pride.It's best Not to provoke them. And what ever you do DO NOT TOUCH ONE ON DUTY IF YOU VALUE YOUR HEALTH AND PRIVATE PARTS!

den3jlb
Male, 18-29, Europe
 326 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 4:55:57 PM
Im sure the replies would be different if this was Johnny Knoxville or Triumph the dog.

LordJim
Male, 50-59, Europe
 4915 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 3:17:45 PM
Obnoxious defined.

madduck
Female, 50-59, Europe
 6121 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 1:26:56 PM
Why do people DO this? It is not funny- these men have to do their job, they do it well and to fart around next to them is just being a total arse..

QueenZira
Female, 18-29, Midwest US
 2181 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 1:26:44 PM
I'd be too embarrassed to pull anything like that, it's a terrible way to be a guest in another country and I bet they get tired of it. I'd wrap a tight scarf around my mouth (to show I'm no threat) and just pass by...

paperduck
Male, 18-29, Midwest US
 1709 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 1:12:41 PM
That wasn't even that funny. That guy must be a newbie.

Mr_Pedo_Bear
Male, 70 & Over, Southern US
 973 Posts
Sunday, March 16, 2014 1:09:04 PM
Congratulations sir, you just got him in trouble and extra guard duty. They don't like it and usually get given more as a punishment...

iansquall
Female, 18-29, Midwest US
 1606 Posts
Saturday, March 15, 2014 2:27:45 PM
Link: American Jewish Man Gets Queen's Guard To Crack [Rate Link] - Actually snorted, this is ingenious.


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