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What Really Happens When Men Beat Women

Hits: 6747 | Rating: (2.1) | Category: Community & Lifestyle | Added by: Smoothjc1
Page: 1 2 Next >   Jump to: Bottom    Last Post
Female, 30-39, Canada
 2427 Posts
Monday, March 25, 2013 6:56:24 AM
I don't understand why women don't leave their abusive spouses, it took my mom 18 yrs. to leave my sick fu*ck of a father. It does happen on both sides though, one of my brother-in-laws dad was abused by his wife for their entire marriage (he never left, right up to his actually natural death). It happens, it sucks, but don't blame the victim even if they are way too scared to save themselves (male OR female). The abuser makes sure they do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING they can to keep the victim there and under their thumb. Sad to say, but it works. Please don't blame the victim.

Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 1 Posts
Sunday, March 24, 2013 12:52:29 AM
Honestly I was expecting something more graphic... this wasn't so bad.

Male, 40-49, Canada
 1004 Posts
Saturday, March 23, 2013 9:18:38 AM

I am glad to hear you are ok now.
You hit the nail right on the head except for one thing I have seen very strong willed women who have ended up in the same situation as you, after years of the mental abuse, where the self esteem is worn down systematically by the abuser.
It is the exact same process brainwashers use

Male, 40-49, Canada
 1004 Posts
Saturday, March 23, 2013 9:01:32 AM
Anyone who asks " Why didn't she just leave?" obviously does not know the cycle of abuse.
The relationship starts fantastically it's all love and hugs and kisses, then it starts simply, " You are useless, you are good for nothing , you are stupid"
The abuser will always start with breaking you down mentally, then will start isolating you from all your friends and family, then may hit you , apologize and swear it will never happen again and you believe him because you need to, remember, he is now your only support now, and it won't ( for a while ).
Then it starts getting worse and at this point you believe it's completely your fault.
Then when you finally seek help you have finally reached the end of the rope ....quite literally.
Fighting for your survival.

Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 2973 Posts
Saturday, March 23, 2013 3:07:52 AM
When I lived in a dorm, I was awake at an ungodly hour when I heard a ruckus outside my door; I looked out the peephole and saw a guy push a girl into the wall, she fell and hit her head, not enough to cause bleeding mind you. I slammed open the door, scaring him, but allowing her to retreat to safety. I stared him down for a minute or two before he slunk away in the opposite direction.

I later talked to her and told her if she needed help, to come seek me out, but she never did, but I hadn't seen the guy, or heard any disturbance ever again.

Male, 30-39, Eastern US
 455 Posts
Saturday, March 23, 2013 2:13:05 AM
Terrible. But why would she stay. Doesn't do anything but prove that bad boys keep women coming back no matter how bad they treat them. Go ahead and tell us some of how "nice guys" are so terrible.

Male, 30-39, Western US
 3445 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 9:32:55 PM
When I was about 12 years old a friend of mymom'sshowed upatour house half drunk and badly beaten.My dad, a mechanic, and I were working on a car in the drive way and needed to head to the parts store. On the way into town we made a detourand stoppedby mymomsfriend'shouse.

I was told by my pop to wait in the car whichI did. He's6'4and around 250 pounds. A Korean War Vet, a Coal Miner, and a quiet, patient man.

When we pulled up in the truck he got outand strolled down the sidewalk to the house. He straightened his cap, knocked on the door, and whentheguy living there answered, I watched my dad, Beat. His. Ass. Right there in the guys front yard.

It was the most lopsided, futile, hopeless brawl I've ever seen. That poor bastard was literally grovelling like a Goddamncur and when my Dad decided he'd had enough, he straightened his hat got back in the car and told me that if I ever hit a woman, he would kick my ass too. And I believe him.

Female, 18-29, Canada
 2516 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 8:33:45 PM
Gerry: "@ madduck, I don't think we need shelters. It's pretty rare a man puts up with that. More likely he hits her back, she calls the cops and they arrest him."

Dude, you've never met my grandfather. One day, after returning from the beach about a block away from my grandparents flat I walked up the stairs with my kids and my tremulous grandfather begged me to be quiet, "Your grandmother is in such a foul mood. I'm only trying to protect myself." (He's a 78 year old man, former public servant, very accomplished career, managed a great deal of people; likely would strike most outsiders as an Alpha). I think that there are plenty of men who put up with it.

Male, 30-39, Canada
 1036 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 7:01:24 PM
Its strange because i barely know anyone of my friends, colleagues and coworkers that wouldnt at least make mention of suspicion and instantly result in a supreme beat down and ass smashing of any man putting a woman in that position.

Male, 50-59, Western US
 34635 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 6:24:57 PM

My deaf neighbor used to get beat up. With deaf people it's more common 'cause it's more difficult for the handicapped to access aid. I let her know anytime she needed a safe place she could come to my apartment and we'd call 911. She never used the offer of help. Just stayed a victim until her lesbo live-in moved on to greener pastures.

I can understand if a woman has no where to turn, but she had the option of help and decided to be a punching bag instead. I don't get that.

Male, 40-49, Europe
 13316 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 5:03:54 PM
i know what your saying
but hell
Ive met a few gals like you
and I have no answer, you get to that level
and Ive tried to make good, even to the point of
lodging a female friend to keep her safe
but she still went back to him
and went back to the same crap
and she refused my aid after that
I can understand the females need to love and try to make good
but when it becomes harmful and dangerous
and they still go back
I stymied

Male, 30-39, Eastern US
 687 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 4:30:37 PM
@ McGovern1981 "speaking what others don't have the balls to say is quite cowardly".

Is that why you think you're doing? Because it's not, what you're actually doing is saying something very stupid and very generalized and ignorant. It is, it's a fact.

But here's what I find fascinating, you actually think you're making a point that other are "afraid" to make. Not the case at all, people aren't saying things like that because they're afraid, they're not saying it because it stupid to believe.

Truth, I only know what you project, don't like my generalization of you don't make yourself appear like a sad sexist.

Male, 40-49, Europe
 13316 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 3:50:31 PM
I know the scenario
My comment below covers it
went to help a gal
and she got me 200 hours community service

Male, 18-29, Europe
 202 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 3:43:50 PM

My brother intervened when he was at a club, and he saw a guy beating his his woman.
My brother (a huge guy) sucker punched the little bastard in the jaw, and knocked him out cold.
The woman then proceeded to display her gratitude by pulling a knife and trying to stab my brother.

I never tend to use the word, but "Bitches be crazy!"

Male, 40-49, Europe
 13316 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 3:42:51 PM
Sounds like the woman who I tried to help
they are to scared to just say ENOUGH

Male, 40-49, Europe
 13316 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 3:40:37 PM
Sorry Im old school
men who hit women need to be addressed
tis why I got done
but will never stop me from intervening again
Old fashioned as I might be
send him over here I'll pay for the ticket

Male, 18-29, Europe
 202 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 3:39:22 PM
I have a cousin that is with a guy(I refuse to call him a man) that beats her.
I've talked to her about it, and even hidden her in my home when she got scared an ran away.
And though it sounds cruel, and some will call me ignorant, or a pig for it, I honestly think it's as much her fault as his.
He's a violent druggie piece of trash, but she refuses to see that. Despite the obvious, and what everybody says, she is convinced that he really loves her, and that she can make it work. It's so damn tragic. Everyone offers their help to her, but she refuses to take it, she can't see her own situation.

Even when he beats her really bad, and she gets scared and runs away, she still comes back to him after a few days.
I'm afraid for her safety now, if she stays with him, it's just going to get worse, and if she leaves he'll come after her.
I hope she realizes this soon, because you can't take her away from him until she realizes this. Before then she'll just keep goi

Male, 40-49, Europe
 13316 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 3:33:20 PM
'I kept it to myself'
I got arrested 8 years ago for intervening a guy
beating his girlfriend to a pulp
saw him kicking the hell out of her
pulled up, and got out and pulled him off her
he took a swing so I kicked seven bells out of him
She was swimming in blood, but she took his side
and the court done me for ABH
she hadnt the courage to say I saved her
and to now I still wonder if she is still alive
got a community order,
200 hours cleaning the streets
Just for trying to help someone

Male, 60-69, Europe
 5692 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 2:58:23 PM
'Can we please get past which gender is to blame '

We are. Clue; it's the one doing the beating.

Male, 50-59, Western US
 34635 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 2:42:28 PM

@ madduck, I don't think we need shelters. It's pretty rare a man puts up with that. More likely he hits her back, she calls the cops and they arrest him.

Women need shelters. We should have more of them so it's easy when they do finally decide to leave the ass holes. Maybe women's shelters could have 1 small room in case a guy shows up.

Female, 50-59, Europe
 7006 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 2:20:52 PM
I agree- there should be shelters for men as well as women, there is no excuse for the inequality- although the information I have seen scattered around does make it clear that domestic abuse involves all sexes. The motivations are the same though.. I refer to a male abuser because I am a female,.... everything I have said can equally apply to a female abuser.

Male, 18-29, Europe
 338 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 2:11:45 PM
1 in 4 is the number of people who experience it in their whole lives, and the types of incidents included is very wide, so yeah...not as alarming as it sounds.

Besides, despite how terrible it is, my sympathy is tempered until such time as there is a more equal distribution of resources between victims of each gender....almost no support is available to male victims (no male shelters in the whole of Scotland for example...that's none, nada, zilch, a duck egg)

Male, 50-59, Western US
 34635 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 1:59:50 PM
LOL @ Turd!
They say the same thing in the US 1 in 4 "suffers from domestic violence". But it's not like it sounds.

My neighbor was arrested and convicted of domestic violence. He found emails from his wife's lover on the computer and in his anger he smashed the keyboard with a hammer. I have to stress: No one else was home at the time.

When she got home she saw the damange and called the cops. He got arrested because it "Creates and atmosphere of fear" so even though he never laid a hand on her, he was arrested and convicted of Domestic Violence. He later said he wished he had hit her because it's the same punishment.

True story, so 1 in 4 ? I think the numbers are skewed.

Male, 30-39, Western US
 4381 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 1:34:49 PM

1 in 4 women in the UK gets beaten? That doesn't seem fair...EVERYONE in the UK deserves a punch to the face, not just the women.

Female, 50-59, Europe
 7006 Posts
Friday, March 22, 2013 1:22:08 PM
Said a lot of what I could in the earlier post, but lets get a few things cleared up- spousal abuse is not just done by the obvious bullies ( males or female) - small, mild, timid men beat their wives, so do doctors, lawyers, surgeons and teachers. They pretty much always isolate their wife from a support network so may times the wife ( or husband- this goes both way) does not believe she will get any support or help. She thinks no one will believe her. These men are often friendly, relaxed and charismatic... the last people you would suspect

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