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Wild Turkey Attacks Reporter

Hits: 5494 | Rating: (2.5) | Category: Funny | Added by: 5Cats
Page: 1 2 Next >   Jump to: Bottom    Last Post
OldOllie
Male, 60-69, Midwest US
 11738 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 10:19:06 PM
1) Grab turkey by the neck.
2) Swing turkey around your head several times.
3) Take dead turkey home.
4) Dunk dead turkey in boiling water.
5) Remove feathers and guts.
6) Salt insides and rub with oil.
7) Bake at 350 degrees for 15 min. per pound.
8) Serve with dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, cranberry sauce, hot rolls with butter and jelly, and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

Simbosan
Male, 40-49, Asia
 160 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 7:07:12 PM
Thanksgiving??!!! I'll give you thanksgiving...

scheckydamon
Male, 50-59, Southern US
 285 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 4:45:56 PM
He just thought the reporter was cute.

97e4ad
Male, 50-59, Western US
 48 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 3:48:20 PM
It's an auerhahn, aka capercaillie. It's a kind of European grouse, and they get bigger than than one.
Turkeys only live in the New World (North and South America).

Beardofzeus
Male, 30-39, Europe
 643 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 10:45:46 AM
Notice the height the video was shot at? Quite low? Nice use of the new Russian turkey dashcam...

diylobotomy
Male, 18-29, Western US
 1637 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 10:13:39 AM
I got attacked by wild turkey once. Blacked out and woke up in jail with a confederate flag tattoo and the worst hangover ever.

Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
 33696 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 10:07:33 AM

@ blonc, nope, 100% british background, both sides.

There was a professor in a swedish college who was yelling at his class because they were so incredibly lazy.
"I wouldn't be surprised if 50% of you flunk this math class," he said.
One of the kids put up his hand. "But there aren't that many in this class," he said.

klaxor
Male, 18-29, Western US
 647 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 9:56:55 AM
It'd have been funny if the car had run it over at 1:10

blonc
Male, 30-39, Europe
 127 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 9:41:12 AM
Hey Gerry... sounds like you've got some Norweigian heritage. Usually they who slam us swedes:)

Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
 33696 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 9:36:14 AM

A swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris.
"Just a moment," the clerk said.
"Oh, thank you," the swede replied and hung up

Kain1
Male, 18-29, Europe
 1463 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 9:19:28 AM
Why doesn't he just give a square kick to the ribs?.. Teach it a lesson on attacking things 10 times it's size..

artmunki
Male, 30-39, Europe
 172 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 9:14:36 AM
Not a Turkey or a Black Grouse - this is a Capercaillie, and they're AWESOME! And the males are just a *teensy* wee smidgen territorial. ;p

Oh, and Capercaillie are actually a type of grouse, but Black Grouse are a different, smaller species ... they're quite funky too tho.

Squrlz4Sale
Male, 40-49, Eastern US
 5982 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:59:04 AM

@5Cats: I think it breaks down something like this.

Grouse = demonic; squirrel = scrappy (with heart).

It would be an AWESOME cage fight.

5Cats
Male, 50-59, Canada
 21964 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:53:44 AM
@Squrlz4: Have you seen grouses fighting? They're scary!

Of course there's those videos of squirrels beating up snakes and scorpions & stuff...

5Cats
Male, 50-59, Canada
 21964 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:51:14 AM
What's really funny is that for a few seconds there, it looked like the bird was going to take on the truck: "What are *you* lookin' at?!"

@Squrlz4: I KNOW! I laughed so much!

Grouse: Hey, what are you stopping for? You want a piece of this too?
(truck drives off)
Yeah, I didn't think so!

lolz!

@Kitteh9: Yeah, I complain if my descriptions get mangled, but often they're improved by @Fancy & @TheMods eh? I sometimes note in my comment (in the submission page) that my description sux, feel free to change it!

@MacGuffin: tack!, tack så mycket!

So it's a Swedish Grouse, no worries!

Squrlz4Sale
Male, 40-49, Eastern US
 5982 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:49:54 AM

So apparently this thing is a Black Grouse. What look like red eyes are actually red feathers located just above the eyes.

I want a cage match: "Squrlz vs. The Black Grouse." Place your bets, people.

Nickel2
Male, 50-59, Europe
 3931 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:47:06 AM
I prefer mine smooth from the bottle rather than raw on foot.

Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
 33696 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:34:34 AM

The little swedish kid asked his teacher why the days in the summer were so much longer.

The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat makes everything expand."

lt633c
Male, 50-59, Eastern US
 141 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:26:00 AM
The only reason this sh*t happens is because we humans don't punt the lil f***ers into next week.

auburnjunky
Male, 30-39, Southern US
 9569 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:22:54 AM
Just kick the damn thing!

Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
 33696 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:20:43 AM

You don't have any Sweden jokes? Well it's a country full of blonde people so it can't be too hard to come up with one.

A Swede walks into the post office.
"This letter is too heavy," the post-clerk stated, "You will have to put on an additional stamp."
The swede looked wonderingly at him, "Will it be lighter then?" he asked.


Thank you. Thank you. I'm here all week.

Squrlz4Sale
Male, 40-49, Eastern US
 5982 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:16:28 AM

What's really funny is that for a few seconds there, it looked like the bird was going to take on the truck: "What are *you* lookin' at?!"

kitteh9lives
Female, 70 & Over, Eastern US
 1286 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:11:25 AM
You are welcome 5cats.

5Cats
Male, 50-59, Canada
 21964 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:04:28 AM
Sweden? Could be, thanks for adding that!
Also: It's probably not a turkey, it's probably a "Grouse" of some sort.

But those guys laughing their arses off is too funny!

What an angry bird!

CrakrJak
Male, 40-49, Midwest US
 16145 Posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013 8:03:42 AM
That's a pretty small bird, for a turkey. If it is a turkey.

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