 Angilion
Male, 40-49, Europe
 9554 Posts
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Saturday, January 19, 2013 9:42:38 PM
A nervous Briton goes to Australia and runs into a pub next to the airport, almost certain that a deadly poisonous spider is going to bite him any second now. He checks under the chair before sitting on it, just in case, and checks the ceiling too, in case there's one up there that could jump off onto his shoulder and bite him in the neck! Deadly poisonous spiders all over the place!
The locals have seen this before. One of them strolls over and says "G'day. Are you checking for deadly poisonous spiders? No worries, there aren't any around here."
"Really? You're sure?"
"I'm sure. I've been here 20 years and I've never even seen one."
The tourist visibly relaxes at this reassuring news...just as the local says "I reckon the deadly poisonous snakes ate all the spiders". |
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Angilion
Male, 40-49, Europe
9554 Posts
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Saturday, January 19, 2013 9:33:09 PM
I'm not fooled.
If it was really from Australia, it would be venomous!
:) |
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 avail9988
Male, 18-29, Australia
621 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 4:27:20 PM
what kidnd of pussy is scared of a harmless huntsmen? It's the funnel webs you need to watch out for they will kill the shi.t out of you |
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 razbitom
Male, 40-49, Australia
708 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 1:31:12 PM
what kind of person leaves an unattended window open on a continent with huntsmen? |
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 Nickel2
Male, 50-59, Europe
1544 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 12:44:25 PM
One of my Australian work-colleagues used to talk of 'Flaming galahs' that would rip up the seat of his motorbike for the hell of it.
Now I understand.
Galah is an "Old Australian" word; an derrogatory term that means a "loud-mouthed idiot." Named specifically for the galah, a native Australian bird that makes a distinctive (and quite funny-sounding) call: The roseate coc katoo |
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 emmettyville
Female, 30-39, Australia
2741 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 11:51:50 AM
motherf ucking australia! |
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 MacGuffin
Female, 30-39, Europe
2597 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 11:30:24 AM
So, that roosteratoo is a member of IAB then? You can tell by his frenetic typing style. |
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 swiftkeys
Male, 18-29, Eastern US
449 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 10:36:39 AM
Kill it.
|
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 greenbasterd
Male, 18-29, Canada
2132 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 10:36:24 AM
i left my window open once and an angel flew in and told me i was awesome. |
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 VikingGuy
Male, 18-29, Europe
2386 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 9:46:59 AM
i once left my windows wide open and went out shopping for food and whatnot for an hour, didn't think anything of it as i live on the 9th floor (US/UK scale). came back to a few pigeons and a busted mess where the plates i´d left from lunch had been.
it reminded me why spending money on screens wasn't a bad idea, to keep things from out there from coming in here. |
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 DromEd
Male, 40-49, Eastern US
913 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 7:19:03 AM
Hunt and peck kind of typing I'll wager. |
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 Draculya
Male, 30-39, Asia
6337 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 6:37:12 AM
Would be nice in a pie. |
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 drawman61
Male, 50-59, Europe
1401 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 5:06:51 AM
He was tweeting. Ha, see what I did there. |
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 lostinkorea
Female, 30-39, Europe
3620 Posts
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Friday, January 18, 2013 12:37:01 AM
OH hell no... |
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 QueenZira
Female, 18-29, Midwest US
1772 Posts
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Thursday, January 17, 2013 9:16:16 PM
Pssh, if that were really taken in Australia the bird would be at least 6 ft. tall with chest ripper foot claws and sporting venomous dripping fangs. Everybody knows that... |
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 thelonious
Male, 40-49, Southern US
3200 Posts
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Thursday, January 17, 2013 9:11:07 PM
I was hoping my suggestion of hermetic sealing wouldn't be taken seriously. It would cut off your O2 supply. |
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 Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
25656 Posts
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Thursday, January 17, 2013 8:42:37 PM
Profworm, I heard that the #1 killer of australian men was australian women.
Seems they get kinda wild and are unusually strong.
Butch chicks |
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Profworm
Male, 30-39, Western US
192 Posts
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Thursday, January 17, 2013 7:51:13 PM
You know what animal kills the most people in Australia every year, Thelonious?
The horse.
It's not as bad as the internet makes it out to be. |
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 MidPacific
Male, 50-59, Western US
28 Posts
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Thursday, January 17, 2013 7:16:22 PM
what a galah. |
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thelonious
Male, 40-49, Southern US
3200 Posts
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Thursday, January 17, 2013 7:09:31 PM
If you live in Australia and do not keep yourself hermetically sealed off from nature, you have a death wish. |
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 Zed68
Male, 40-49, Europe
404 Posts
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Thursday, January 17, 2013 6:06:00 PM
spiders were not enough bad-ass |
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 kitteh9lives
Female, 40-49, Eastern US
978 Posts
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Thursday, January 17, 2013 5:11:54 PM
Link: Meanwhile in Australia... [Pic] [Rate Link] - Never leave your window open. It's always the cute ones that fool you. |
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