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Denis Leary Is Tweeting What We're Thinking [Pic]

Hits: 12905 | Rating: (3.0) | Category: Funny | Added by: fancylad
Page: 1 2 3 Next >   Jump to: Bottom    Last Post
Quackor
Male, 18-29, S. America
 2864 Posts
Saturday, June 02, 2012 10:17:11 AM
who the duck cares if its consensual

simbha
Male, 30-39, Southern US
 412 Posts
Saturday, June 02, 2012 6:52:56 AM
(... Continued) Our society - (near) universally) - works to protect females as "the weaker sex." And, physically, that's generally true. But, I don't see how that's true or relevant in cases where there's no alleged physical assault.

Yes, boys are congratulated by their peers for sleeping with an older woman - perhaps, especially a teacher. But, again - if anything, that implies that a boy is subject to additional emotional pressures that are external to their own innate desires and a majority woman should be treated more harshly (than a man) for exploiting (or even subjecting herself to) these weaknesses.

Again, I don't really buy that these situations should be treated any differently - but, if they are, it should go counter to what most here on IAB are arguing, in my opinion.

simbha
Male, 30-39, Southern US
 412 Posts
Saturday, June 02, 2012 6:47:53 AM
Overall, I agree with MacGuffin here. I believe that differentiating between 'man-girl' and 'woman-boy' relationships (at this age) is based on an irrational bias.

Some here - including, most recently, LordJim below - argue that this is an inherent fantasy for boys of this age - and, by implication - not for girls of this age. If that's the case, I'd say that's an argument for why 'woman-boy' relationships should be treated MORE strictly; fantasies on the part of the younger party not only don't justify the relationship - they are support for the notion that the boys are more vulnerable (emotionally) to seduction and manipulation by the older party.

That's not to suggest that I think they really should be treated more harshly - but, if it goes one direction vs. the other, I'd say that's the direction it should go (based on that argument).

LordJim
Male, 50-59, Europe
 4609 Posts
Saturday, June 02, 2012 6:24:01 AM
IIRC, for most teenage boys sex with an attractive older female is a common and powerful fantasy. Never happened to me, but it did for two friends and they have never expressed a scintilla of regret.

But she was a teacher and there are rules, one of which is you don't get to shag the students. Most schools are quite strict about that, except perhaps parochial schools.

MacGuffin
Female, 30-39, Europe
 2597 Posts
Saturday, June 02, 2012 5:36:20 AM
Since several of you have expressed the view that girls are far more vulnerable than boys at age 16, perhaps some of you can explain what it is that's so different for them? Are girls just so mentally deficient that they can't enter into 'consensual' relationships with older people at that age, but boys can, do you think? I know it can't be their physical strength that's the problem, because no-one's talking about sexual assault, where the female party is completely unwilling but forced to participate anyway - that's clearly wrong whatever age she is. And, taking things further, if girls that age really are so psychologically vulnerable to sexual relationships, do you think that therefore means boys of the same age should be prevented from having sexual relationships with their less-mature female peers, perhaps with draconian sentences for male teenagers that have sexual relations with female teenagers, to protect those poor, innocent, naive female souls from damage?

Tiredofnicks
Male, 30-39, Europe
 4893 Posts
Saturday, June 02, 2012 5:24:07 AM
Culture and tradition are funny breeds indeed. I've always, always wondered about why sexually active men are studs, while sexually active women are sluts.

MacGuffin
Female, 30-39, Europe
 2597 Posts
Saturday, June 02, 2012 5:21:19 AM
Don't base your opinions of America on Gerry. That's just wrong.


I'm not sure what you mean by that. If I did base my opinions about America on Gerry, I might think more highly of them than I do - whatever else he is, Gerry's a pretty funny, intelligent guy. I just happen to disagree with him on the subject of this thread.

syke22
Male, 18-29, Southern US
 1131 Posts
Saturday, June 02, 2012 5:07:31 AM
I wonder how much of this actually goes on and the kid is normal and doesn't say anything.

ExtraCredit
Male, 50-59, Midwest US
 448 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 9:50:27 PM
I agree that older men shouldn't prey upon minors, but I don't completely agree with applying these laws in reverse mode.

Doesn't make a lot of sense to me other than to outraged parents that would probably rethink their position if given enough time....

Tobunshi
Male, 18-29, Europe
 681 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 8:39:36 PM
@MacGuffin

Don't base your opinions of America on Gerry. That's just wrong.

simbha
Male, 30-39, Southern US
 412 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 5:52:10 PM
When considering cases like this one, and others involving even younger children, I always remember what a police officer friend of mine working in child protection told me about paedophiles. He said that they usually don't differentiate between male and female victims: they're just attracted to children. I remember that, because it was the first time it struck me how different to normal adult sexual attraction an adult sexual predator's warped version of sexual attraction is.


This is true of sexually undeveloped victims (i.e., pedophilia) but not of sexually developed adolescents. Pedophiles are attracted to children who have not yet gone through puberty and thus don't show outward signs of sex. Denotatively, this is a clear case of ephebophilia - sexual preference for mid-to-late adolescents with clear morphologic changes. So, your description [above] doesn't apply here.

mal_BB
Male, 18-29, Europe
 1224 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 5:09:42 PM
It's nice when the debate in a thread is more interesting and entertaining than the post itself. This is one of the reasons I come to I-A-B :)

The fact of the matter is that, as someone already stated, this is the case of an adult abusing his position of trust and responsibility by having relations with a young person placed in his care. I think whether it was a female or male teacher and a male or female student is irrelevant-they're all vulnerable to manipulation at that age regardless of their gender.

LiquidFire
Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 109 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 4:48:39 PM
@MacGuffin, So I read thru the extremely entertaining flame war you and gerry had and have come to this conclusion. I think you are full of it. I don't mean that maliciously, but I do not agree with you.

Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
 33910 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 3:53:41 PM




MacGuffin
Female, 30-39, Europe
 2597 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 3:07:07 PM
Oh, I get it. You want the last word. Sorry, I didn't mean to steel your thunder. I'll keep quite now.

Go ahead.



That's 'steal' my thunder, dear. And that you'd keep 'quiet'. And whilst we're on the subject, I believe you meant 'different', 'inherent', 'plethora' and 'feminist' earlier as well, didn't you? I'll let you off with 'behaviors' since none of you Americans seem to be able to spell that.

Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
 33910 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 2:51:22 PM

Oh, I get it. You want the last word. Sorry, I didn't mean to steel your thunder. I'll keep quite now.

Go ahead.

MacGuffin
Female, 30-39, Europe
 2597 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 2:46:30 PM
MacGuffin, "Is that your answer? Personal insults? It speaks volumes."

Insult? I used your own logic against you. After faulting me for speaking for girls I asked your qualifications to speak for boys?

Yes, I asked in my own colorful way, but asking if you have a penis is not an insult. Funny you would think it is. As you say, "it speaks volumes."



Never mind Gerry, I'm sure you *think* it's different when older men fancy younger boys, than it is when older women fancy younger girls. I'm just glad the law recognises the hypocrisy in your thinking, even if you don't.

simbha
Male, 30-39, Southern US
 412 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 2:34:54 PM
Regardless of the [male vs. female or ephebophilia vs. pedophilia] debate... In my opinion, this is a person in a position of authority who is involved in a relationship with a person who is her (hierarchically) inferior. That - more than anything - is what's wrong with these situations, in my opinion. The rest of it is secondary, at best.

DrProfessor
Male, 18-29, Midwest US
 3884 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 2:28:20 PM
@MacGuffin--it wasn't just adult females I was attracted to, I would have had a relationship with a peer crush or something...only I was too young and awkward to know how to woo anybody to begin with.

I'm just stating that I had an active libido from a pretty young age, and that I knew full well what it entailed. If I had been in a relationship, it wouldn't have been coercive in the slightest.

We really underestimate our tweens, especially when you consider that for a large portion of our history, 12 years old was marriage-age. Our bodies are biologically programmed to be interested in mating from that age; it's a matter of our cultural norms being imposed upon them.

That said, I'm not saying that adults never coerce younger people into having sex. That's definitely a real thing, and definitely a problem. I'm just saying that it's not always the case.

Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
 33910 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 2:23:16 PM

MacGuffin,
"Is that your answer? Personal insults? It speaks volumes."

Insult? I used your own logic against you. After faulting me for speaking for girls I asked your qualifications to speak for boys?

Yes, I asked in my own colorful way, but asking if you have a penis is not an insult. Funny you would think it is. As you say, "it speaks volumes."

MacGuffin
Female, 30-39, Europe
 2597 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 2:07:19 PM
I guess I'm out of the loop, what does plies mean?



uatme
Male, 18-29, Canada
 1024 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 2:02:13 PM
I guess I'm out of the loop, what does plies mean?

MacGuffin
Female, 30-39, Europe
 2597 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 1:56:37 PM
@ MacGuffin - And just how big is your penis? We agree for girls this probably wouldn't be a good thing, but you fault me for knowing as a man that this ain't so bad for a boy. So try some of your own logic and tell me your qualification to speak for boys on this topic. Have you got a big hairy pair down there as well as up top?


Is that your answer? Personal insults? It speaks volumes.

MacGuffin
Female, 30-39, Europe
 2597 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 1:54:09 PM
@Macguffin, I specifically remember hoping that I could find a way to have sex before I hit 16, so I could "beat the curve" as it were.


I've got news for you, DrP: so do many young girls. A lot of young girls just reaching the edges of adulthood are every bit as thrilled as young boys to believe themselves to have the special attention of an older person, that makes them feel grown up and special, and to them represents a mature partner that is the envy of their peers (whether that is really the case or not). You don't have to look far to find examples of female victims being just as vocally protective of the abusers that target them. They don't feel quite so special when, a few months or years down the line, they realise that the person that was attracted to them was merely attracted to young people, and not to them in particular.

DrProfessor
Male, 18-29, Midwest US
 3884 Posts
Friday, June 01, 2012 1:43:17 PM
@Macguffin, I specifically remember hoping that I could find a way to have sex before I hit 16, so I could "beat the curve" as it were. Maybe I was an early bloomer, but I had it all figured out by elementary school (on my own, I wasn't 'corrupted') and I knew I wanted it.

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