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'Cleaning Fairy' Breaks Into Houses, Leaves Bill

Hits: 8806 | Rating: (3.0) | Category: Weird | Added by: kitteh9lives
Jump to: Bottom    Last Post
LordJim
Male, 50-59, Europe
 3697 Posts
Thursday, May 31, 2012 12:36:57 PM
$75 is about £50, right? For that you want at least five hours of quality work.

If anyone broke into my house, I'd taunt them with elegant persiflage beyond their comprehension, while prodding them with my cane. And when the intruder tore the cane from why aged and enfeebled hand he would expose twenty inches of Toledo steel still gripped in my suddenly supple grasp. Sa-ha! Ears would be cropped and noses slit by the almost liquid beauty of the ancestral blade. And when they lie sprawled in the mire with my mockery in their ears and my boot up their backsides, mere fragments, my great-grandfather (of whom we never speak) will exult in his grave.


LordJim
Male, 50-59, Europe
 3697 Posts
Thursday, May 31, 2012 11:39:33 AM
Shinymetal

'show me one case of kindness and understanding and ill show 100 cases of senseless violence.'

Seriously mate, you might want to consider moving to somewhere nicer.


regediT
Male, 18-29, Europe
 723 Posts
Thursday, May 31, 2012 6:25:51 AM
@Draculya, are you trying to get attention?

Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
 33696 Posts
Thursday, May 31, 2012 5:48:32 AM

"If she came into my house when someone was home, her next of kin would be cleaning her innards off my wall."

"Because if someone is in your house without your permission --> they deserve to die."


Deserve to die?
No. But if they knew there was a chance they could I bet she wouldn't be sneakin into peoples homes.

For all we know she'll be a naked zombie next month chewing on some poor homeowners face. Oh, but libretards have disarmed innocent people so there's no way to protect themselves from Hannibella Lecter. Darn! If only we could have seen home invasions coming through tracking crime statistics or something.

Vimto
Male, 40-49, Europe
 2352 Posts
Thursday, May 31, 2012 5:33:42 AM
Is this not an advanced version of cleaning windshields at traffic lights?

Shinymetal
Male, 18-29, Midwest US
 168 Posts
Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:27:46 AM
why do i also get the feeling that Kairobert has been a part of a B&E?

Shinymetal
Male, 18-29, Midwest US
 168 Posts
Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:26:39 AM
@kairobert
you have too much faith in humanity.
It's not about possessions .I don't know what wonderful part of the U.S. you live in, but if someone is coming into my house without permission, it is not to make nice and play dress up. IF someone is willing to break into a home, they MUST be desperate or stupid. I will NOT try to restrain him, nor would we cower while we wait for police. I would GLADLY shoot anyone I felt to be forcing their way into where I am sleeping. Stupid and desperate people do desperate and stupid things. show me one case of kindness and understanding and ill show 100 cases of senseless violence.

kairobert
Male, 18-29, Europe
 1634 Posts
Thursday, May 31, 2012 12:43:52 AM
"If she came into my house when someone was home, her next of kin would be cleaning her innards off my wall."

Because if someone is in your house without your permission --> they deserve to die.

Why do I so often see this? This is mental illness.

Buiadh
Male, 18-29, Europe
 6651 Posts
Thursday, May 31, 2012 12:09:19 AM
Consuela from Family Guy anyone?

jendrian
Male, 18-29, Canada
 2477 Posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2012 7:43:24 PM
haha, "... after seeing the job she did we were like, whoa, $75? 15 MAYBE"

CrakrJak
Male, 40-49, Midwest US
 16125 Posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2012 7:35:34 PM
Seventy Five dollars?! That's a rather steep bill, regardless of the breaking and entering.

swoop408
Male, 18-29, Western US
 1768 Posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2012 7:11:04 PM
I'll hire the nude maids, thanks anyways.

Gerry1of1
Male, 50-59, Western US
 33696 Posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2012 6:12:19 PM

But the whole town is talking about her cleaning business.
Smart Advertising.

OddNumber
Male, 18-29, Canada
 201 Posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2012 5:49:45 PM
I.. I just...whhaaaaaaaa....?

PinkRhoid
Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 1188 Posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2012 5:49:07 PM
If she came into my house when someone was home, her next of kin would be cleaning her innards off my wall.


While you may be serious and I don't even disagree with the sentiment, it's is generally acknowledged that making statements such as this over the internet = lamesauce.

lookoutwegotabadassoverhere.jpg

Draculya
Male, 40-49, Asia
 10221 Posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2012 5:36:20 PM
If she came into my house when someone was home, her next of kin would be cleaning her innards off my wall.

kitteh9lives
Female, 70 & Over, Eastern US
 1271 Posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2012 5:13:22 PM
Link: 'Cleaning Fairy' Breaks Into Houses, Leaves Bill [Rate Link] - Crazy lady is crazy, but In her defense, they did place an ad reading 'Cleaning lady needed-Must have own burglar tools'


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