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Dear Santa Letter Generator

Hits: 14833 | Rating: (2.6) | Category: Funny | Added by: buddy
Page: 1 2 Next >   Jump to: Bottom    Last Post
thechacken
Male, 13-17, Europe
 249 Posts
Tuesday, August 01, 2006 5:13:38 AM
_!_!_!_!READ MINE_!_!_!_!

Breathlessly,

little timmy

PS: Please say hello to Rudolph.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember George Bush? He has been a really homicidal cry-baby all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put ebola in his stocking. Thanks!


muggyloc
Female, 40-49, Western US
 731 Posts
Wednesday, March 09, 2005 5:29:46 AM
Pagan Elf lmfao lmfao!

Aby
Female, 13-17, Eastern US
 8577 Posts
Sunday, February 27, 2005 1:40:20 PM

Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.

Love,

Aby

PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Mr. Eggs? She has been a really perverted coprophile all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put sticks in their stocking. Thanks!


Aby
Female, 13-17, Eastern US
 8577 Posts
Sunday, February 27, 2005 1:40:13 PM
Dear Santa Claus,

This year, I have been a very manipulative little girl. I have compulsively lied, and I have always helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of age-inappropriate pants this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring fruit leather panties. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my little sister, please bring a diaphragm. For my doggy, please bring a chew toy. Oh – and for my baby sitter, please bring some work ethic.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith videos, and front row tickets to Mary-Kate and Ashley – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!


Hedonophobic
Female, 13-17, Europe
 28 Posts
Sunday, February 27, 2005 12:15:17 PM
...Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spongebob Squarepants beer coozies, and front row tickets to GWAR – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,!
Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.
Love,
bethjoyPS: Please say hello to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember the cat down the street? He has been a really homicidal weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put sticks in their stocking. Thanks


Hedonophobic
Female, 13-17, Europe
 28 Posts
Sunday, February 27, 2005 12:14:35 PM
Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,
This year, I have been a very Ritalin-addled little advertising tampon. I have compulsively pillaged, and I have always helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!
Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new dead-end job. For my big sister, please bring a subscription to Guns & Ammo. For my hampster, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my baby sitter, please bring some work ethic.
....

jaida1964
Female, 18-29, Eastern US
 510 Posts
Monday, December 27, 2004 10:40:18 AM
PS: Please say hi to Rudolph.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Greg? He has been a really perverted dork all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog poo in their stocking. Thanks!


jaida1964
Female, 18-29, Eastern US
 510 Posts
Monday, December 27, 2004 10:39:49 AM
Dear Santa Claus,

This year, I have been a very good little girl. I have not murdered, and I have always helped my mommy with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my big sister, please bring methodone. For my doggy, please bring breath mints. Oh – and for my baby sitter, please bring some fruit cake.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Harry Potter action figures, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my jet-ski. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $1,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.

Love,

Jennifer


stephab13
Female, 13-17, Australia
 180 Posts
Wednesday, December 15, 2004 11:47:12 PM
I am a materialistic advertising tampon. Santa, you are an obese trespassing altruist...What is an altruist, anyway?

Allica
Female, 40-49, Southern US
 792 Posts
Thursday, December 09, 2004 10:36:09 AM
Breathlessly,

Allica

PS: Please say hi to the baby Jesus.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Michael Jackson? He has been a really perverted weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog sh*t in their stocking. Thanks!


Allica
Female, 40-49, Southern US
 792 Posts
Thursday, December 09, 2004 10:35:30 AM
Dear Santa Claus,

This year, I have been a very bad little advertising tampon. I have compulsively murdered, and I have rarely helped my mommy with their chores. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring daddy’s testicles in a vise. For my daddy, please bring a new neck tie. For my big brother, please bring a diaphragm. For my ferret, please bring breath mints. Oh – and for my mail man, please bring some fruit cake.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spongebob Squarepants videos, and front row tickets to Aaron Carter – plus backstage passes so I can get behind the scenes! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pool. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the meatloaf I left out for you.

Breathle


Cindy75
Female, 30-39, Midwest US
 35862 Posts
Wednesday, December 08, 2004 6:29:25 PM
Heehee, Im not gonna post it, but this was alot of fun!

Koenvb
Male, 13-17, Europe
 243 Posts
Tuesday, December 07, 2004 2:37:14 PM
Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spongebob Squarepants toilet paper, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get airborne Chlamydia! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my amputee Afghan orphan. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.

Breathlessly,

me.

PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember me? I have been a really homicidal weener all year long and don’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog poo in their stocking. Thanks!


Koenvb
Male, 13-17, Europe
 243 Posts
Tuesday, December 07, 2004 2:36:45 PM
Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,

This year, I have been a very bad little advertising tampon. I have compulsively murdered, and I have never helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring daddy’s testicles in a vise. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my big brother, please bring a subscription to Guns & Ammo. For my doggy, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my cleaning lady, please bring some work ethic.
Now about me!


big_fridge
Female, 13-17, Europe
 595 Posts
Tuesday, December 07, 2004 10:03:07 AM
Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $1,000,000!

Come on Santa! Please? Just this once?


i_am_24601
Female, 13-17, Southern US
 279 Posts
Monday, December 06, 2004 7:05:28 PM
yup, my letter was very special.

loomer
Male, 13-17, Eastern US
 75 Posts
Monday, December 06, 2004 2:59:55 PM
great fun
what a link
keep up the good work i-a-b

FlaminGamma
Female, 18-29, Eastern US
 120 Posts
Monday, December 06, 2004 10:44:21 AM
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xaielyrith
Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 1683 Posts
Monday, December 06, 2004 8:51:42 AM
Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.

Breathlessly, James

PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Sarah? She has been a really naughty coprophile all year long and doesn't deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put ebola in their stocking. Thanks!


Xaielyrith
Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 1683 Posts
Monday, December 06, 2004 8:48:04 AM
Dear Santa Claus-Devourer of Children's Souls,

This year, I have been a very manipulative little advertising tampon. I have compulsively pillaged, and I have never helped my grandpa with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care and so I deserve lots of age-inappropriate pants this year.

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring fruit leather panties. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my little sister, please bring a diaphragm. For my doggy, please bring a homeopathic heartworm remedy. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some work ethic.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the SpongeBob SquarePants toilet paper, and front row tickets to GWAR – plus backstage passes so I can get airborne chlamydia! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pony. But if you can't, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $1,


someukguy
Male, 18-29, Europe
 135 Posts
Monday, December 06, 2004 7:37:00 AM
man, thats funny

hobyandy
Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 3065 Posts
Sunday, December 05, 2004 8:59:00 PM
oh...so much holiday sheer in such a short letter.

eRiCaBot
Female, 18-29, Canada
 1029 Posts
Sunday, December 05, 2004 8:24:44 PM
too much fun.

Alien Stick
Male, 18-29, Western US
 243 Posts
Sunday, December 05, 2004 8:03:01 PM
Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith videos, and front row tickets to Britney Spears – plus backstage passes so I can get behind the scenes! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!
Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.
Breathlessly,
Zack
PS: Please say hi to the baby Jesus.
PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Jerrin? He has been a really corrupt weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog poo in their stocking. Thanks!

Alien Stick
Male, 18-29, Western US
 243 Posts
Sunday, December 05, 2004 8:02:50 PM
Dear Obese Trespassing Altruist,
This year, I have been a very manipulative little TV watcher. I have compulsively embezzeled, and I have never helped my grandpa with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!
Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new Rogaine prescription. For my little brother, please bring Barbie. For my hampster, please bring breath mints. Oh – and for my mail man, please bring some work ethic.

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