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Worst Analogies Ever Written

Hits: 96202 | Rating: (3.7) | Category: Arts & Literature | Added by: mattjblythe1
Page: 1 2 35 6 Next >   Jump to: Bottom    Last Post
thesupreme1
Male, 13-17, Midwest US
 149 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 3:01:46 PM
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

thesupreme1
Male, 13-17, Midwest US
 149 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 2:58:51 PM
I've found a new website to kill time with.

The love one is awesome.


Izzy67
Male, 13-17, Southern US
 160 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 2:48:25 PM
#4 is the best XD

kurry
Male, 30-39, Canada
 25 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 2:38:55 PM
"...exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.", or to quote the original as written by Douglas Adams, "...they hung in the air exactly the way bricks don't." -Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. Whadda rip.

nicole_xo
Female, 13-17, Eastern US
 2564 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 2:25:55 PM
Lmao yay funny stuff.

Galileo53
Male, 13-17, Europe
 754 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 1:49:19 PM
this is fantastic! i laughed all the way

xDDitsmee
Female, 18-29, Midwest US
 455 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 1:47:34 PM
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."


I liked this one.


Aramil
Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 321 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 1:26:24 PM
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

That's actually pretty good.


r0adk1ll
Male, 18-29, Western US
 27 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 1:23:46 PM
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
-- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
-- Russell Beland, Springfield

lmao


swtdreams285
Female, 18-29, Western US
 1434 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 1:13:47 PM
By reading this, I think my IQ dropped a couple of points

PhoenixPhata
Male, 13-17, Western US
 281 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 12:56:39 PM
Simply because it reminds you of something doesn't mean it's plagiarism. It's even quite possible that the author in question has never heard of Douglas Adams in which case even if it was the exact same phrase it's simply independent discovery of hilarity.

In other news, "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever." Pure brilliance.


dragonrice
Male, 18-29, Canada
 640 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 12:35:31 PM
That one made me laugh.

"The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. "


JAXLEY
Male, 18-29, Europe
 1000 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 12:32:12 PM
as long as it was intentional, i think this one is really clever:

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."


misscutieroo
Female, 18-29, Midwest US
 1897 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 12:26:50 PM
no i think these are funny and original!

omgwtfho
Female, 18-29, Southern US
 1552 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 12:02:58 PM
The fact they were written sarcastically makes them less funny. It would be better if high school students actually wrote them

HaruHaru
Female, 13-17, Southern US
 1077 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 12:02:06 PM
"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30."

-These kids are pure genius..


thecranberry
Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 728 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 11:34:12 AM
i love you neeley. that what i was going to say, it's freaking plagerism! the analogy is: "the little boat floated across the pond much as a bowling ball would'nt". the douglas adams quote: "the ship hung in the sky much the same way bricks don't."

MinLokWat
Male, 30-39, Eastern US
 8 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 11:15:33 AM
Let's try this again people.

As phreakphit pointed out already, these were not "taken from high school essays" but are from The Washington Post's weekly humor contest from the Sunday Style section.

For those who figured that they were too cute / clever / (un)intentionally ironic - that's why.


42467
Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 756 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 11:06:16 AM
best thing on iab ever......

neeley2009
Male, 18-29, Eastern US
 142 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 10:52:19 AM
The bowling ball one reminds me of Douglas Adams...

hannah_h
Female, 13-17, Midwest US
 9202 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 10:49:55 AM
On 1/28/2007 7:09:05 AM lolakitty72 wrote: The "second tall man" was best.

I thought that one was actually good.

Pikachu42
Female, 18-29, Southern US
 1848 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 10:46:39 AM
that my friend was bad

lexmex
Female, 18-29, Eastern US
 468 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 10:38:17 AM
isnt this a repost?
oh well i liked this one the most

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

intentionally stupid im sure but HILARIOUS!!


DBtG
Male, 18-29, Midwest US
 334 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 10:34:43 AM
"gone and unnoticed like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can".

Genius.


TJAW
Male, 13-17, Europe
 661 Posts
Sunday, January 28, 2007 9:54:40 AM
"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't"\

LMAO!!


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