2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION|
Name: ___________________ Stage Name:________________
Agent: ___________________ Attorney:____________________
Therapist's Name: _________________
Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female* [ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female [ ] Both
Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
(Use extra pages, if necessary)
Please check hair color.
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
[ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue
[ ] Skinhead [ ] Other ___________
Please circle all activities you perform while driving:
Drinking Starbucks coffee
Shaving (male or female)
Talking on the phone
Slapping kids in the back-seat
Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
Surfing the net via laptop
Discharging firearms / reloading
Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
a) Shoot at other drivers ___ b) Be shot at ___
If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime.
b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch
your car on the news in a high- speed chase.
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular
phone company for your 911 call not going through.
d) Call your therapist.
In the event of an earthquake, you should:
a) Stop your car.
b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.
In the instance of rain, you should:
a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
c) You're not sure what "rain" is.
Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week:
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
f) Medical pot
h) All of the above
i) None of the above*
* If none, please explain: __________________.
Length of daily commute:
a) Less than 1 hour*
b) 1 hour
c) 2 hours
d) 3 hours
e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.
When stopped by police, you should:
a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to
attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.
When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window,
a) Her turn-signals are broken.
b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
c) She is drying her nails.
Which part of your car will wear out first?
a) The wiper blades
b) The seat belts
c) The horn
Automatic door locks are good for:
c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.
The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
a) Dark, poorly lit roads
b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way