I-Am-Bored.com Proudly Presents:
California Driver's Test

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard.

This is a new Exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in California, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special Application and driver's test solely for the California area.

2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION

Name: ___________________ Stage Name:________________

Agent: ___________________ Attorney:____________________

Therapist's Name: _________________

Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female* [ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female [ ] Both

Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
________________________________________
(Use extra pages, if necessary)

Please check hair color.
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers:
[ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue
[ ] Skinhead [ ] Other ___________

Please circle all activities you perform while driving:
Eating
Drinking Starbucks coffee
Applying make-up
Shaving (male or female)
Talking on the phone
Lifting weights
Slapping kids in the back-seat
Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
Tanning
Snorting cocaine
Watching TV
Reading Variety
Surfing the net via laptop
Discharging firearms / reloading

Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
a) Shoot at other drivers ___ b) Be shot at ___

If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime.
b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch
your car on the news in a high- speed chase.
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular
phone company for your 911 call not going through.
d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should:
a) Stop your car.
b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:
a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
c) You're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week:
________

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
a) Prozac
b) Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f) Medical pot
g) Zoloft
h) All of the above
i) None of the above*

* If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
a) Less than 1 hour*
b) 1 hour
c) 2 hours
d) 3 hours
e) 4 hours or more

* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.

When stopped by police, you should:
a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to
attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.

When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window,
it means:
a) Her turn-signals are broken.
b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
c) She is drying her nails.

Which part of your car will wear out first?
a) The wiper blades
b) The seat belts
c) The horn

Automatic door locks are good for:
a) Security
b) Convenience
c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
a) Dark, poorly lit roads
b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
c) Revenge


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