Wednesday, October 20, 2004 5:54:24 PM
Furthermore, seeing as how the entire staff at al-Qaeda has heard all about the train wreck I made of the War in Iraq project, even a lesser position in this industry seems unlikely--and, frankly, undeserved. I have hit rock bottom, and at this point there is no job--not even peddling coke on the Internet--that I would consider beneath me.
It goes without saying, American people, that I'll remove you from my list of references. I won`t need those where I`m going, anyway.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004 5:54:02 PM
You knew it was coming. . . yep. . . here it is. . .
Dear American people,
I have given a great deal of thought to my performance on the War in Iraq debacle, and I believe my only option at this point is to tender my resignation. That I couldn't handle such a straightforward assignment after 4 years on the job is embarrassing enough, but the shame I have brought on you--nay, on our entire concern--is simply too much to bear.
Please don`t blame yourself for entrusting me with hard work; I wish only that I could devote the rest of my life to excellence in that endeavor, and I fully understand that the honors shall now pass to John Kerry.