The Fancy Dispatch #2: It Gets Better [Update]

Dispatch #002: It Gets Better [Original date published: Nov. 34, 2010]

UPDATE after the original story...

Greetings I-A-B,

So last night around 2am, I'm catching up on Facebook, as one does after they've finished a mid-priced bottle of J. Lohr cabernet, and what do I stumble upon but the profile of my nemesis in high school. Ron was the classic high school asshole. I won't get into too many details here, but let's just say he loathed me because I was dating the only girl who ever turned him down. Yeah, he boned everything in his path. That's what handsome, yet swarthy captains of the varsity football team do.

Now I was no nerd, nor was I big man on campus. I was just an average guy that got average grades that somehow scored an above-average girlfriend. Yet every fucking day of my junior and senior year, I had to deal with Ron's crap. Did it ever get physical? A couple times, plus there was lots of sabotage and eventually, his daily harassment broke up me and my girlfriend. Like I said, it's a long, boring, but aggravating story.

So what did I find? This...

And what's Ron up to now? He's single, thrice divorced, living in the Inland Empire (if Bakersfield is the armpit of California, the Inland Empire is the taint), working construction, 5 kids, bald, approximately 75 lbs overweight--and here's the corker--after doing a quick Google search, found that old Ron is a registered sex offender, charged with a "lewd or lascivious act[s] with a child under 14 years"].

What's the point of all this? The point is, no matter how crappy your nemesis makes you feel, dear I-A-B readers, it gets better. Karma eventually gets around to dishing out what the jerks of the world deserve.

Toodles, Fancylad

Well, I just got a text message from an high school pal (thanks, Rodge) a few minutes ago that told me old Ron's ultimate fate. In short, he killed himself in his jail cell a couple days ago. Why did he kill himself you ask? Because he was incarcerated until his court appearance for the January 14, 2011 murder of his girlfriend. He trial was set for next week. So yeah, if you think your life sucks right now for whatever reason, don't worry--hang in there--it gets better. Karma evens everything out in the end.