Tuesday, June 16, 2009 11:47:24 AM
They need to incorporate "sonic cleaning action!"
Just like a professional jewelry cleaner, the sonic wave action of the Ass Blaster 3000 uses millions of tiny pulses each second to gently wipe away even the tiniest pieces of fecal matter. Why wipe with rough toilet paper that can actually scratch and tear your sphinter? OUCH! "I bwaught mwy Eass Bleyaster 3000 a ye-ah ago, and heaven't suffah`d from rectal blee-ding evah since". But wait, call within the next 10 minutes and we`ll double your offer. That`s right, you get two Ass Blaster 3000`s. Use one for each orifice, or, give one to a friend! But wait, there`s still more! If you`re one of the first 500 callers, we`ll include this silicone massage tip at no additional charge. You can use the sonic action of the Ass Blaster 3000 to massage your back, your feet, or any `other` area, then use the patented toilet paper gripper to clean up afterwards. You get all this for only $19.95. Call now, operators are s