Thursday, June 18, 2009 2:16:45 PM
favorites: 1)"I felt pretty bad when my husband staggered into the kitchen from the den with a profusely bleeding cut in his forehead, collapsed on the floor and told me "I knew you wouldn't want me to bleed on the carpet."
2)I realized today that squeezing my own boob feels a lot like squeezing my boyfriends butt.
3)As I finished making my father`s bed, the hospital called and informed me he wouldn`t be needing it.
4)The most prominent memory I have of my grandmother is the night she tried to kill me.
5)As the cashier gave a knowing look to my wife as she scanned the prenatal vitamins, I realized this random girl is the first person on earth to know we are having a baby.
Monday, June 1, 2009 4:04:29 AM
My crazy Polish dad came inside after digging a hole for a new tree in the backyard, holding the skull of "Speedy," my cat who had died months before and said, "Look, it's Speedy! Meow!"