Sunday, January 25, 2009 2:08:22 AM
The worst day of my life? The day my newborn kitten, scrabbles, was crushed by my falling grandfather as he suffered a massive stroke on my parents toolshed. And then the tool shed roof collapsed, crushing my brother eddie, who was using the tool shed for a make out spot with 2 other male 8th graders (apparently he was a flaming homosexual). They all died, so each of their parents sued mine, who were unable to come up with the dough. So, they lost their house, the judicial system decided to garnish their wages, and now, being unable to support me, they sold my sorry ass into slavery, where i was viciously raped numerous times by the caretakers german shephard, Lobo. When i tried to escape, the caretaker had my legs surgically removed, and replaced them with two large bee hives. The honey is awesome, but the bees constantly sting me on my genitalia while I try and listen to the prince albums on my mp3 player while simaltaneously harvesting turnips with the other slaves. I like pancakes!