Sunday, September 16, 2007 1:25:52 PM
How to leave the planet: 1. Phone NASA.Their phone number is (731) 483-3111. Explain that it is very important that you get away a soon as possible.
2.If they do not co-operate, phone any friend you may have in the White House- (202) 456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA
3.If you dont have any friends at the White house, phone the kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295). They dont have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of)but they do seem to have a little influence,so you may as well try.
4. If that also fails phone the pope for guidance. his telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and i gather his switchboard is infallible.
5.If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that its vitally importantyou get away before your phone bill arrives - the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.