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A Message To Americans Post Canada Day [Pic]

Dear USA,

We get that you dont get it. But, believe it or not, Canada is not a colony of your country. Were an independent nation and we have a day to celebrate that independence. Its like the Fourth of July ... but better.

Still confused? Here's why Canada Day is the best.

On July 1, 1867, the Dominion of Canada was created. No war. Not even a skirmish.

Notice how 1867 comes after 1812? That means you can stop getting angry at us about that war you lost. You were fighting the English, not us.

white house burns canada

We do have to admit that George Washington was pretty badass though...

But so was the father of our country.

This is John A. Macdonald.

He was our first prime minister and was famous for his wit.Especially when he was drinking.

Its said thatMacdonald was once so drunkduring a debate that he started vomiting.

After recovering, he blamed the sickness on his opponents disgusting ideas.

canada day 2014 johna
(Credit: Andrew Hutchison)

Macdonald succeeded in achieving Confederation, merging several British colonies into a single nation.

NOT PART OF YOUR NATION

You think youre the only ones with Founding Fathers? Not a chance. Weve got Fathers of Confederation.

Fathers with awesome mutton chops...



Oliver Mowat




William Alexander Henry




John Hamilton Gray

And everything about Canada Day is so fresh.



Were only 147 years old.

canada day baby

Ourflagis just 49 years old.

Weve only been calling it Canada Day since 1982 (it was Dominion Day before that).

dominion day

And "O Canada" only became our official anthem in 1980.

Did we mention that the lyrics to "The Star-Spangled Banner" were written while you Yanks were getting bombarded with cannonballs during that war you lost?

And speaking of explosions. Thats one thing Independence Day and Canada Day have in common.

OK, we also share this.

And this.

canada day trailer

canada day trailer2

Actually, come to think of it, were pretty similar after all.

canada day 2014

Best friends forever?

Sincerely,

Canada

P.S. Were sorry. We know we screwed up.



To our brothers and sister south of us.

submitted by: Rodin
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A Message To Americans Post Canada Day [Pic]. To our brothers and sister south of us.
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Hits: 4341 | Favorites: 0 | Emailed: 0 | Rating: 1.8 | Category: Entertainment | Date: 07/02/2014
 
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More Comments >

pmarren
Male, 40-49, Midwest US
 4241 Posts
Thursday, July 3, 2014 7:03:43 AM
I love Canada. Two words; Bill Shatner

McGovern1981
Male, 30-39, Eastern US
 13217 Posts
Thursday, July 3, 2014 6:51:23 AM
@5Cats

You're ignoring why we declared war on Britian/you were blocking our trade, impressing American merchant sailors into the royal navy and encouraging Indian tribes to attack us.

Sleepyhallow
Male, 50-59, Western US
 1584 Posts
Thursday, July 3, 2014 12:59:34 AM
Canada, America's timber reserve.

OldOllie
Male, 60-69, Midwest US
 13402 Posts
Wednesday, July 2, 2014 9:38:35 PM
Canada, America's hat.

5Cats
Male, 50-59, Canada
 24388 Posts
Wednesday, July 2, 2014 7:06:16 PM
One question for Canadians: Why is the Queen on your money if you're a sovereign nation?


SHHH! @DerryNH! We`re too polite to tell her we`re not a Colony anymore! Wouldn`t want to upset her, eh?

@freddyferret: LOLZ! Yeah, all us not-French Canadians wonder about that part too... no, seriously, we have NO idea why...

@Rodin: You made this yourself Bro? Most Excellent!

@pazerlenis: Yup, they lost the BEST leader imaginable: Tecumseh. Died in battle.
He was a GREAT man who might have made Canada, America AND the Native Peoples much better off than the way things turned out.

Geronimo is a US equivalent to him... (for example)

More Comments >
 


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