Why Do We Choose Difficult Partners? Science!

Submitted by: littlemissqt 6 months ago in Lifestyle Science


You're not going to like the answer -- your brain is hardwired to choose your 'type' and the type won't always make you happy.
There are 12 comments:
Male 900
Freud must be getting a boner in his grave from this...

Meh. I chose my wife because she challenges me. She is my political, philosophical, and functional opposite. I love her because she is not me. There are parts of us that annoy each other, but I am over my childhood and have moved past it. She is my future, and as much as I am my past, I look to her to help me shape who I will be more than anything.
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Male 4,198
Before I can choose a difficult partner, I have to find a partner
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Male 871
What is this feelings of love they are talking about?
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Male 900
fuad119 It's like hunger or boredom...I think.
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Male 43,801
Opposites attract.  In other words...

For every Masochist there's a Sadist.
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Female 5,784
Gerry1of1 Masochist: "Hit me!  Hurt me!"  Sadist:  "No."
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Male 21,632
Now you tell me.
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Male 6,496
This is spot on for me. I grew up in a Beaver Cleaver household with lots of love, no anger and very little religion. Mom quit her job to be a stay at home mother. Dad was a Project Manager who was on location around the world about half the year so we didn’t see him as much. The result. Dad’s frequent absence in my childhood made me not rely on having a partner. I’m fine being single. But when I am with someone I’m attracted to nice guys. The lack of anger in my upbringing made it so I don’t know how to fight. And the passive aggression that made it so there was no fighting in my parents makes me go quiet when I’m mad. Only in the last ten years have I learned and forced myself to communicate issues better. And that is only because my marriage failed partially because of a lack of communication. I still don’t like to fight.
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Male 8,010
A rare thing: a YouTube video that includes actual wisdom and good advice. I like! Thanks, Cutie.
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Male 1,996
squrlz4ever equally rare in an IAB post...
I hope this trend continues and kudos to those who provide the content.
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Male 1,803
I think this is why, after years of marriage, couples break up and finally DO marry the type of person they actually want.  It takes YEARS of bashing your head against a wall to sometimes realize "Boy, i wish i was married to Y over there instead of X"
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