Burger King Deviously Explains Net Neutrality By Making People Wait Longer For Whoppers

Submitted by: daegog 3 weeks ago in Funny News & Politics Tech


Burger King has found another cause it can get behind, and promote with this in-store stunt -- net neutrality. 

Someone would totally pay $26 for a fast Whopper.
There are 38 comments:
Male 840
I've said this a million times, and probably several times here:

Internet Service should be just that - a service, and treated as such. Just like Gas, Electricity and Water.

No monopoly, and no manipulation allowed. Sure you can have different suppliers, offering different rates as pure competition, but one thing cannot change - all electricity or gas or water that is supplied to your house is the same.

Internet should be just like that. (and in many countries it still is).

Telephony should also be the same, I may choose a higher monthly $ so that I get cheaper international or a cheaper monthly $ and expect to pay more for an SMS; BUT all calls always work and no one can dictate who I call or when.

If the US has just arseholed net neutrality, then (johndplorable) you may not see anything for quite a while. But it will happen, and then it will likely affect other counties as well. ---- Think of it like when Google bought YouTube. Everything was fine for years; then the odd ad started popping up, but now guess what! Thats right, you need to buy RED if you dont want ads.  Consider yourself raped.
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Male 272
I'm not fully decided on this issue yet, because I've felt no real difference to access, price, or service before, during, or after the 2014 industry reclassification to Title II (which was originally created to regulate the telephone monopoly in 1934). However, this video indirectly makes the case for deregulating the industry and repealing the action disingenuously referred to as Net Neutrality.   

If the government, though the Hamburger Equivalent of Title II, classified the burger industry as a public utility and deemed that Burger King would be the sole provider of hamburgers and the only form a hamburger could take was a Whopper, then this video portrays exactly what could happen. However, under a deregulated burger industry, which is what we have now, everyone in this video has the option of going to any number of fast-food providers for an assortment of burger-products. Under these rules, Burger King would have to become more competitive or go out of business.  
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Male 8,522
johndplorable If the government, though the Hamburger Equivalent of Title II, classified the burger industry as a public utility and deemed that Burger King would be the sole provider of hamburgers and the only form a hamburger could take was a Whopper,


WRONG.  How are new providers supposed to overtake the old ones?  The capital required to be an ISP is alone the most difficult part to becoming a Provider.  The Infrastructure of the internet by itself is cost prohibitive and only a few companies can manage it.   Nothing repealing net neutrality increases competition here.

The Burger market isn't a 1 to 1 example of the ISP market.  
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Male 272
normalfreak2 On this we agree 100%.

The Burger market isn't a 1 to 1 example of the ISP market. 

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Male 15,660
Wait, so rich people can get better service than before? Hell yeah! Let's do this for the roads and all other utilities. We can create two nations in one: a better reality for the rich and a deeper shit hole for the poor. Just like the good old days before equality.
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Male 690
Draculya Well, there are already faster lanes for the richer in Florida, so....
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Male 15,660
Draculya everyone who down votes this is poor and in debt.
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Male 463
Draculya Or just doesn't have a sense of humor.
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Male 7,843
"Hi we are a burger chain and we love money"

"Today we're going to pretend to be on your side by demonstrating something that we know you don't like"

"Honestly, we don't care about you, your health, or even the thing we know you don't like, like we said, we love money.  So we're going to do this hoping you will save us money on advertising with a viral ad so  you can come buy more from us because we want you to think we're on your side. Did i mention we love money?"
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Male 690
monkwarrior Usually you are flat-out insane, but here you are spot on.
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Male 7,843
snoopybg I've never been insane.
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Male 4,775
monkwarrior On the other hand, if you go to Burger King you at least get a burger for your money.

Give your money to Joel Osteen or any other preacher and you get... what exactly?
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Male 7,843
daegog If you give your money to the church you're helping your community.  As for tv preachers, i've never given them money.
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Male 4,775
monkwarrior LOL, you cannot honestly believe that giving money to your church helps your community.

If you want to help your community, do it directly, giving money to your church helps your church pay the preacher, the deacon, and every other thumper in the building.

Preachers got to eat too ya know (maybe burger king?), where do you think that money comes from if not from collections.
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Male 7,843
daegog Soup kitchens, feeding the poor, clothing the poor, providing sommunity outreach for those in need?  Sorry, what the government refuses to do is done by the church.  If you think not giving money to the church doesn't help then you're simply ignorant.

Do you knw how much of your money that goes to burger king goes to help your community?  Next to nothing in comparision, because those running such places love money too much.
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Male 4,775
monkwarrior Every church does not run soup kitchens, feed the poor, cloth the poor or run any community outreach.

You cannot even say MOST churches do this because there is no accurate way to track such a claim.

I wouldn't think any of my burger king money goes to feed the poor or help the community, that is not the job of burger king, this is a capitalistic society, they are here to make money.

I can be sure, however, that the money i spend in burger king is taxed and that money goes to the government.  Give a church money and you have done nothing more than buy gas for the preachers expensive car.
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Male 7,843
daegog There is plenty of ways to track such a claim, go ask the church.  You're just grasping at straws because you don't like being wrong, and everyone knows it.
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Male 4,775
monkwarrior 

WELL WHY DIDNT YOU FUCKING SAY SO?

Who would have thought, if you want to know the truth, just ask people suspected of doing dirt?

I mean, they couldn't POSSIBLY lie, not in the house of god!  It's inconceivable that any church goer has ever in the history of mankind ever spoken a falsehood in any church.
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Male 7,843
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Male 748
Last I checked, we where one senator away from having the senate pass a Congressional Review Act against the FCCs actions.  If you haven't already contacted your senator, DO IT!
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Male 4,236
muert Technically it was 1 vote from passing an act through the Senate, but the House is still way off.  And then Trump can always veto it, which is very likely unfortunately since it is not a super majority passing.
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Male 1,680
I wouldn't pay 26 cents for a whopper. They taste like plastic wrapped in a rotting carcass.
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Male 41,419
I have a buy one / get one free coupon for a Whopper.
That has nothing to do with this...... just say'n
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Male 4,236
FUCK YES...I'm going to go and order a Whopper now and eat it...and I haven't eaten fast food or meat in over a decade.

I will call that massive explosive shit I take afterward an Ajit Pai Poop.
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Male 755
kalron27 I think you could start a social phenomenon. Get vegetarians to eat BK for the first time in years, destroy a toilet, and snap a pic #AjitPaiPoop
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Male 4,236
toetagmodel2 I like this idea, but I'm not a social media guy so I wouldn't be able to start the...*cough cough*..."movement" ;)
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Male 1,765
kalron27 slam that whopper, UNLEASH THE FURY!
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Male 4,236
woodyville06 It will probably taste SO GOOD, and feel SO BAD afterwards.
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Male 10,939
kalron27 you haven't eaten meat in over a decade? Any meat or you mean red meat?
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Male 4,236
holygod Only fish, nothing else :)  Pescetarian technically. 

Luckily BK Fish Sandwiches suck balls...
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Male 755
kalron27 I thought pescetarians were supposed to die out long ago of mercury poisoning.
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Male 4,236
toetagmodel2 Only if you consume massive amounts of albacore tuna :)  Wild caught Salmon is my go to fish, they are pretty low on the mercury spectrum.  Shrimp or scallops follow along with light canned tuna, which is low in mercury compared to albacore.  Bigger fan of Tofu though...god I love that shit!
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Male 10,939
kalron27 Well, pescetarian TECHNICALLY. ;)

That's cool. My wife and i talk about it. I know I couldn't go vegetarian, but I could do pescetarian I think. I could live off sushi, poke, crab, shrimp, and lobster. That's good times. Just not easy where we currently live. I gotta move closer to the ocean. 

If you are going to eat red meat for the first time please don't make it burger king. Go get a petite bacon wrapped fillet at a decent steak house. Then if you want to show support for BK get a milkshake on the way home.
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Male 4,236
holygod I like the milkshake idea!  Pescetarian is a yummy healthy way to go :)  I'm landlocked too and there are plenty of local fresh or frozen wild caught options, check farmers markets for the fisherman stand, someone who does their own fishing.
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Male 10,939
kalron27 I plan on moving to hawaii in 492 days. Lots of fresh fish. You can walk in and get a poke bowl with fish caught that morning. Mmmmmmm.
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Male 10,939
I saw this this morning and was going to submit it but I figured someone else already had. So fucking good. Not good enough to get me to eat burger king, but almost.
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Male 8,522
LOL!
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Male 21,310
Genius.
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