Eight Things That Are Guaranteed

Submitted by: squrlz4ever 3 months ago in Funny


1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

2. You can't count your hair.

3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

4. You just tried #3.

6. When you did #3, you realized it's possible, but you look like a dog.

7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled.

8. You skipped #5.

9. You just checked to see if there is a #5.
There are 22 comments:
Male 3,775
i realized it was a trick! after i had already stuck my tongue out and breathed through my nose. i checked 5 on 9, 8 went over my head. "You skipped 5." i was a like, "no i didnt!" but then 9 was all like "You just checked 5." and then i was all like, "oh, i see there is no 5." also, i didnt smile, i just glared at my computer screen.
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Male 5,419
robthelurker LOL at the glaring. I get that look a lot when I raid birdfeeders.
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Male 3,822
number 3 got me. going to have to use that one on friends
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Male 3,801
yep to all of them...
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Male 5,419
kalron27 Yesss! ~pumps paw in air~
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Male 5,419
Well, turnabout is fair play, I guess. The responses to this post have me laughing my fool head off.
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Male 6,286
What Hair?
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Male 942
If we're talking about the hair on my head I can count it.  The number is 0.
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Male 8,792
Shouldn't that be the USRC?
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Male 5,419
megrendel LOL! Hmmm... I will have to give that some seriously useless consideration.
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Male 91
Blind now, but worth it
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Male 8,198
Wow.... you got me

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Male 8,792
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Male 5,419
megrendel I thought this was a great example of squirrelly humor. There is a soupçon of naughtiness in most things squirrels do.
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Female 4,654
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Male 5,419
melcervini Oh yeah, baby. "Squrlz After Midnight"... available on your cable provider's XXX listings.
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Male 6,286
squrlz4ever  I heard Squirrel Girls do anything for pistachios...
BTW  you used your own pic for the "Professor"
Want a beet chip? I found that I love them
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Male 5,419
thezigrat Gurl squrlz are such flirts. Once they decide they like your genetics (fluffy tail? check!), they play all hard to get and race around the tree limbs for an hour or two, constantly looking over their shoulder to make sure you're following. If you slow down, they pause and let you catch up. Finally they find a comfy branch somewhere, settle in, and it's time for the bow-chicka-wow-wow.

Yes, that's me posing as the professor. Funny you should say that because I titled that pic "Professor Squrlz."

Beet chips sound good. I bet they're healthier than regular potato chips too. All that red color makes me think there must be some kind of powerful antioxidants in there.
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Male 21,129
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Male 5,419
fancylad LOL! I love this GIF.
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Male 21,129
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