Squirrel Eats One Too Many Fermented Magnolia Pedals, Proceeds To Get As Drunk As A Skunk

Submitted by: insaneai 1 month ago in Funny


You know this guy, Squrlz?
There are 18 comments:
Male 39,583
See, squirrels and alcohol can go together 

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Male 3,120
Gonna have to send him to those damn meetings now.
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Male 4,439
daegog "Hello, my name is Horatio and I'm a magnolia-petal-aholic."

"HI, HORATIO!"
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Male 4,439
I will fight... for my right... to paaaaaarty!

I see nothing wrong with consuming fermented magnolia petals as long as I have a designated driver.

"No, ossifer, I don't know why you pulled me over. Have I been eating magnolia petals? No. Well, maybe just one or two, but that was like... years ago. Or hours. I meant hours ago. Waitaminnit, what year is it? ... This isn't going well, is it?"
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Male 1,836
squrlz4ever I just wanted to point out that you're going backwards.  Maybe move that shifter knob forward and to the left a bit.  Tell your chipmunk slaves below to feather the clutch next time.
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Male 4,439
insaneai Backwards?! Aw man! That would explain why the cops pulled me over so quickly once I got out on Route 422.
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Male 3,228
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Male 39,583
Ah, so cute...he had me at merlot. He's pitcher perfect so
let the fun be-gin just stop and smell the rosé! 
But this guy makes pour decisions so it's time to wine down.
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary, but I looked it up on whiskeypedia and it says
if you drink too much it's likekly tequilya. And beer wont make you smart, Budweiser.
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Male 1,248
Gerry1of1 Geez Louise Gerry. What's with the puns lately? They adjust your meds?
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Male 39,583
scheckydamon I have always been the punmaster of IAB.  I just took a little break. You might say I'm the PUNisher when I deliver my PUNchlines and PUNctually PUNctuate my  PUNditry.
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Male 3,114
Gerry1of1 it's very PUNdemental
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Male 39,583
Obviously an Irish Squirrel



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Male 1,836
Gerry1of1 Not with Smirnoff vodka.  This is obviously a Ukrainian ex-pat in Toronto.    (Edited smart-ass comment to use a different city since the one that popped into my head also popped into the headlines today.)
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Male 5,774
Animals love to get stoned/drunk as much as people. I had a dog (I mentioned him in the puppy post ) when ever he got loose, he would seek out a poisonous mushroom that grew wild throughout the neighborhood and then come home tripping. 
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Male 1,248
Squrlz, you are SO busted.
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Male 1,634
Question: do animals eat these sorts of things on purpose, or do they have no idea what they are getting themselves into? The squirrel in this video did certainly seem to be hunting for those "perfect petals".
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Male 3,120
whosaidwhat It did look like he was deliberately trying to get his "petal on"
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Male 3,228
whosaidwhat Here is a great old National Geographic vid that pretty much shows they do it on purpose:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Le9ufN5uEc

I have had squirrels and doves get wasted on the fermented apples from my tree most years.  One time a dove got completely wasted, it was walking around all ruffled and crooked then just laid down and spread it's wings...I thought it was dead but it just passed the fuck out.  It woke up 10 min later and flew away.
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