Transgender Kids: When Parents Are Fully OK With Allowing Their Children To Transition

Submitted by: fancylad 3 months ago in

From Barcroft TV: From the moment we're born, our gender identity is no secret. We're either a boy or a girl. As we grow up, most of us naturally fit into our gender roles. Girls wear dresses and play with dolls. For boys, it's trousers and toy cars. But for some children, what's between their legs doesn't match what's between their ears - they insist they were born into the wrong body. They are diagnosed with gender identity disorder, or gender dysphoria, and their parents insist this is not a phase. In this shocking yet touching film, we will follow the lives of four transgender children to discover what it is like to realise you were born in the wrong body so young – with fantastic access this film leaves you thinking long after it’s finished. 

There are 50 comments:
Female 3
Let the kids grow like they want and figure them out themselves. No one can fully understand how other feels. As long as the kid is happy everything is ok)
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Female 7,953
Let them of course? Whether trans gender, gender non conforming it doesn't matter- let people live as they wish to live, support our children in their decisions - they can take tablets to block puberty as they get older, then once they ARE old enough to be certain they can decide for themselves.
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24
"You'd be surprised how times have changed.  I have a friend whose son, now daughter, came out to everyone at school, living as a girl now at 18.  Nothing but support from friends and teachers alike, and this is a smaller town in a rather conservative area.  

Acceptance actually exists contrary to popular belief :)"

Let's just hope this person or the children in the video arn't part of the 40 percent of post op transexuals that kill themselves when the surgery doesn't solve their dissociation disorder or their feeling of otherness. Too bad we arn't allowed by social justice to learn how to treat people who feel the only way to be happy or fulfilled is to get massive hormone therapy and plastic surgery and mutilate their genitals.  
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Female 5
John Heller https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20461468

This study shows that quality of life increases after FRS and/or GRS meaning they will be less likely to kill themselves vs non-op or pre-op trans people. 

While suicide rates are still high among post-op transgender people, it is lower than the general transgender populace at 64%. 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3222349/

I'm happy for your friend's daughter but many trans people still face discrimination, unemployment, and homelessness.
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Male 3,982
John Heller Serious questions for you, no snark intended: What do you mean by "Too bad we aren't allowed by social justice to learn how to treat people who [are transgender]"? It sounds like you think people shouldn't be allowed to undergo sex reassignment surgery. Have I got that right? Also: What do you think a person who is transgender should do?
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Male 2,902
John Heller 

Good job putting a negative spin on a positive story.

Just so you know the facts...this was a depressed teen who was withdrawn from the world...who is now totally and completely accepted by his family, his friends, his teachers and most importantly herself.  I'm no psychologist but I'd say high self esteem is very important to the outcome of this decision.  And to correct you, it is not the reassignment that causes the suicide, it is the years of repressive tendencies and depression of not feeling "normal" that is the cause of that. 

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24
This is child abuse. 
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210
Im just gonna go out and say that anyone thinking that they should make decisions about how someone else feels and how they act, just because you don't understand/like it. 

Your pretty much a fucking dictator.

And no doubt a Trump supporter. 
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Male 1,367
layla_wilson Honestly, do we have to bring politics into EVERYTHING?
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210
squidbush Life is politics. politics is life :)
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Male 39,777
I'd take my kid to a different psychiatrist! That's for sure! What a quack...

Gender reassignment at a young age can lead to a nightmare of a life:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer
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Female 5
5cats I don't think you correctly understood this case and in fact strengthens the case for each individual having a separate gender identity from their sex. David was born male, went through what is essentially GRS as an infant and raised as the newly assigned gender, female. 

The parents and doctor had removed any choice for the individual. Of course, there are going to be consequences in these circumstances! If David had chosen to transition, chosen to receive GRS, decided it was a mistake and he was really a man, and then killed himself you'd be on better footing but this is not the case. There are a lot of parallels with his story and the trans community using it to demonstrate mental gender vs. physical sex.
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Male 39,777
Ashley Erin Oswald A valid observation, yes.

The reason I bring it up is because it happened here in my hometown and that at the time it was heralded as 'proof' that physical gender meant nothing, it was society that made people males or females. Of course that's bogus, since Jane was driven by the same hormones and stuff that males are, and never 'felt like a girl' even though everyone told her she was one...
When the biology and psychology don't match? It's almost always the psychology that is at fault, I think.
It isn't directly related to this case, but (for me) makes the argument that biological gender > an 8 year-old's imagination.
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210
5cats Gender reassignment shouldn't be done until atleast 16, usually 18. And the people that get it at that age tend to have been living as a female for several years. 

I for one aren't having the surgery (just the hormone change) and my Gender Therapist (A very senior doctor) is far from a quack.

Living Up thinking your the wrong gender and not doing anything about it and pretending to be Male (literally having to act everyday) can lead to severe mental issues.

Try and argue with me on this topic. I dare you :)

You aren't correctly informed.

You have a bias view.

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Male 39,777
layla_wilson Hi, welcome to IAB!
http://imgur.com/8wTxkJu

You may appreciate that picture/manga, those are 4 brothers :D
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Female 5
5cats I'm assuming you mean they're FTM? If so I doubt they'd be comfortable enough to display themselves like this. I had issues changing in the male locker rooms before gym class in high school for pete's sake. 

Also, what does a cartoon picture prove? How is this at all relevant to the discussion at hand? 

You know, you occasionally put up a good argument but posts like these are doing you no favors and peck away at your credibility. Every troll post your words lose a little more weight.
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Male 39,777
Ashley Erin Oswald It is one of my favorite mangas, funny stuff and not widely known :-)
I was a shy kid too, I can imagine what trans persons must feel like. But in my mind an 8 year-old is simply not able to decide they are trans, period. 12? 14? Now we're talking about it being possible.

It is a "Welcome" to IAB picture, I've put various captions on it before, but this one's the easiest to link. I'm not troll posting in this very serious thread at all. I very rarely "troll" and only those who are noted assholes here will get it... or folks with a terrific sense of humour who'll get a good laugh out of it! :-)

Read it free and legally here: PG-13 maybe? It's 'ecchi' if you know that phrase...
http://www.mangareader.net/otokonoko-wa-maid-fuku-ga-osuki
Oh: reads right to left, Japanese eh?
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Male 15,067
Gender Identity Disorder is a subclass of Erotic target location error (ETLE). Other types include the belief that one is in fact an amputee, an animal of some sort, an inanimate object like a TV remote or a person of a different race.

Right now, it's considered liberal/progressive to accept a person's gender identity expression. However:

(1) What if your kid said they wanted to portray themselves as a furry or someone of a different race?

(2) Kids get bullied for all sorts of reasons. Your kid may not deserve it, but he is likely to get bullied. Even if he isn't. It will be remembered and may affect him if he changes his mind.
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Female 5
Draculya ETLE was first used by Ray Blanchard the same guy who came up with Autogynephilia which has been heavily criticized. I really don't think what he says holds much water.

He is only occupied with MTFs trans people what about FTM trans people? He Divides us up into two separate groups (based on our sexual attraction) and claims one as legitimate and the other not. I guess he has an obsession with men he deems homosexual with Gender Dysphoria. Also, autogynephilia is unfalsifiable. There is no way to test it. In your sexual fantasies, how do you picture yourself? With the correct parts, right? How about your partner? Same answer? What is wrong with trans people doing the same? 

I bet amputees visualize all their body parts in their fantasies. Something's obviously wrong with them. (this is sarcasm)

I don't know enough about furries to comment. 

How does one go about portraying themselves a specific race (outside the one they were born) without becoming racist or a parody of that race? Can you show me an African nose? Or how bout a Scottish knee? An English ear? You can't portray/transition a race because there isn't a single defining feature or lifestyle. Genetics vary so wildly within each race that to attempt to become a specific one is to display your ignorance. Rather I think it'd be more appropriate (? I'm really ignorant about this subject) to adopt or appreciate the culture. To do your best to celebrate it and share it. When someone says "portray a race" it really sounds like they want a specific skin color. Race is relative to where you were born or who you were born from.

How is this different from transgender people? I don't think there is such thing as an Australian Brain or Mexican Brain. I do believe there are differences in female and male brains. I also think it's possible that in development during pregnancy a wave of hormones too soon or too late can change things. That the mother's diet and drug use can change things. I'm not asking to ignore biological sex. What I'm saying is that a person's mental gender is more important. There is more to being a man or woman than having a specific set of genitalia. 
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210
Draculya - you most definitely don't understand the Trans community and why we do what we do so don't post stuff acting like your knowledgeable. In reality you are an opinionated idiot who believes what ever the hell they read on the internet.

TO BE CRYSTAL CLEAR - Gender Identity Disorder has nothing to do with Erotic target location error.

Being Trans has nothing to do with sexual preference or sexual interest, unless its someone that admires/likes trans people (which is normal)

Kids get bullied for all sorts of reasons. Yes indeed, they do. The problem is the bullies. not the people being bullied. And its people like you that spread false information as facts which genuinely leads to bullying by people who believe what you have said.



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Male 15,067
layla_wilson just claiming to wear a dress does not make you a prophet of a non existent global trans community, nor a psychiatrist.

What you need to do to prove your point is bring as many trans accounts over here and flood the forum with submissions of related content and whatever narrative your personal group of friends considers cannon.

To be clear, we won't take you seriously unless you can totally take over the site and dominate the discussion with volume. More comments, more posts. As much as you can. Go for it.
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210
Draculya "just claiming to wear a dress does not make you a prophet of a non existent global trans community, nor a psychiatrist." If you think the trans community is non existent while reading an article about parents allowing kids to be trans you really need to rethink your intelligence level. the reason you see stuff about trans people more is because THE GLOBAL TRANS COMMUNITY IS GETTING BIGGER THROUGH ACCEPTANCE Yes you can challenge me with what ever the hell you want but im not going to take you serious. 

also I don't claim to wear a dress. Your attempt at an insult is petty.

Im not a psychiatrist and you are most definitely not knowledgeable on this topic.

To be fair I wouldent be surprised if you've spent your life in the closet and rather than break the fear of coming out you slam the ones that have. I pitty you. 
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Male 3,982
layla_wilson Dagnabbit, you two got off on the wrong foot. Hmmm. What to do here? Is there a restart button?

Layla, Drac is a veteran IABer who is scary intelligent, funny, and a bit of a troll (per his last post). He likes pulling people's tails, so to speak. There are going to be a lot of incorrect assumptions and joking with you because you're the new kid on the block. Don't let it get under your fur.

Drac, you dork. I don't think we have a single member of the trans community on here (who posts, anyway). This place is starving for diversity. Can you try to be nice? For a squirrel?
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210
squrlz4ever He may be scary intelligent, but hes definitely not intelligible about trans topics. I don't mind incorrect assumptions, as long as people can see light in what they are saying wrong once corrected.

Anyway im not here to start arguments. 

*Power off*......


*Power on*

Hi im Layla, nice to meet you all. :)

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Male 3,982
layla_wilson That's what I'm talkin' 'bout! Thanks! :)
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Male 39,777
layla_wilson Draculya is not intelligent, not particularly. He's abrasive to everyone :-/
Unlike myselves , we are all the time nice to everyone :D
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Male 2,902
layla_wilson 

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Male 3,982
layla_wilson Hey, Layla! Welcome to IAB! It's great to have a member of the trans community here to help us understand trans-related topics, which come up on IAB fairly often. I'm pretty good at explaining squirrel-related topics, but a bit clueless otherwise.

Anways, welcome, have a good time, and keep your paws inside the vehicle at all times while it is in motion.

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Male 119
nope, but then I'll start the talk about longevity and permanence, and have at least a 2 year long discussion about what they think gender and sex means, then DESTROY them on how little they know about the real world
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Male 247
I wouldn't let my 8 year old child get a tattoo or nose piercing, dye hair yes wear weird (to me) clothes yes but nothing permanent. This is beyond even that, unless I see something rock solid that this is real for the individual then I would even say neglect or abuse. 
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Male 39,265
I am more afraid of the bullying and ridicule at school. I'd tell my kid to wear boys clothes at school, like it's the uniform. At home wear what you want.  Dress up can be fun when you're little but it doesn't mean you want to transition when you're 10.
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Male 2,902
Gerry1of1 You'd be surprised how times have changed.  I have a friend whose son, now daughter, came out to everyone at school, living as a girl now at 18.  Nothing but support from friends and teachers alike, and this is a smaller town in a rather conservative area.  

Acceptance actually exists contrary to popular belief :)
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Male 306
Hmm, that is a dilemma. I'd tell the kid no. At 8, the kid is to young to make a decision like that. To young to choose their own wardrobe or hair style. Definitely to young to wear makeup. Teach the child to be confident and comfortable in who they are no matter what clothes they wear.
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Male 1,611
I'm all about being open-minded, but I was wrong about so many things when I was growing up...and I was right about a few things. Only now do I realize how wrong I was.

If I had a kid who had been diagnosed with gender identity disorder, I'd be seriously skeptical. I think I'd be open-minded enough to allow my kid to cross-dress or cut their hair differently, because, hey, we all tried out weird fashion trends and so long as nobody gets hurt, by all means--go about it. But I don't think I'd be OK with something as permanent as hormone replacement therapy at a young age. I don't like the idea of allowing my child to make permanent mistakes based on a mind that hasn't had the chance to mature.
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Female 5
bliznik Then you have me in 1st grade asking my parents if I needed to get my genitalia cut off because I thought I wasn't supposed to have it. Fast forward through 20 years of ever-worsening depression, suicidal ideation, and drug use and I am almost 1 year into transition and I'm more satisfied with my life than I've ever been. 

You probably don't realize how separated young trans people can feel from themselves, their family, and society. You don't realize the loneliness and confusion and the ensuing self-hatred that all begets. You don't understand the rationalization or the mental gymnastics trans people go through on their own to try and repress and explain what the hell they are going through and why no one else seems not to be experiencing the same thing.

You probably aren't thinking of all the missed birthdays, dates, dances. All of life's events feel absent because you feel out of sorts. You feel awkward and like a puppet. You feel like a fraud and a liar not only to yourself but to the people around you and it begins to fucking kill you. 

Take a moment and think about how much time and effort really goes into transitioning. It isn't a snap decision. I don't think many children if any have the gall or fortitude to lie to their parents, completely change their wardrobe, pronouns, and name for home and school, be serious enough to convince their parents to make a doctor appointment, lie to their doctor/therapist, and finally begin puberty blockers or medically transition all because they wanted to play pretend. Somewhere along the way the lie is going to be found out whether the child tells them or they accidentally drop the act. Sure I've pretended to be a superhero or an animal for the entirety of my recess! How many kids would be mundane enough to choose to play pretend as the opposite gender longer than a day and be serious enough about it to bring it up to their parents in an intelligent and compelling argument? If the doctor, the parents, and the child can all agree on a plan of action then who are we to decide it isn't right. Who has more say in the well-being of a child than their doctor and parents? This is relatively new medicine and honestly, we aren't aware of all the potential side-effects but it is the best we have. 

My shoulders, adam's apple, genitalia, feet, hands, voice, face are all PERMANENTLY changed because I couldn't get the correct hormones in time. My gender dysphoria is greatly increased because of these traits I developed during puberty. There have been and I know there will be more days that I'll think I'm this disproportioned monster. I'll hate myself for it and all those feelings I mentioned above will resurface. Not as loud, not as strong thanks to my medication but I do know one thing and that is that I wished I were in first grade again with doctors willing to prescribe medicine now to trans children like I would have been. 
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Male 1,611
Ashley Erin Oswald

It sounds like you went through a great deal growing up and that you did not have a supportive environment that could help you understand what you were going through, for that you have my condolences.

I have to admit that when I was younger I never had an urge to take medication to hormonally alter my body, but I did have many other urges that, if I had an adult that would support me in acting upon those urges, I would have done great harm to myself and, in some cases, others. I also know that most of my friends who have made irreversible decisions when they were not adults (the most common being getting a tattoo), would not have made that decision if they were able to do it again. A small minority would make the same choice.

I also think that there is a significant difference between a child that has an urge to do something drastic for a year long, and one that has been chasing after the same goal constantly and consistently for 20 years.

So...it's tough. Maybe if I become a parent one day, and my child expresses the same sort of wish for many years in a row, there will hopefully be better ways to identify whether that wish is a simple adolescent urge or a primal brain chemistry configuration that is incompatible with the body's genetics. But with the little knowledge that I currently have, and with the immaturity of the medical process itself (heck, I'm even scared of getting laser eye surgery because it only has 30 years of medical data to support its safety and efficacy), I have to say that I would be incredibly hesitant in supporting that path without a substantial amount of peer-reviewed, evidence-based research that allows me to know that such an irreversible decision is well-supported.
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Male 3,982
Ashley Erin Oswald

Great post. I learned a lot; thanks.

Also: Welcome to IAB, Ashley!

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Male 39,777
bliznik Yup. Puberty will come along and mess up the kid regardless of "orientation" so taking such drastic measures at age 8 seems both useless and dangerous.

Like Gerry1 said above? Let him/her dress up at home, no worries. Go out in public? Present a proper image.

And like kalron says below? Surgical re-assignment is just criminal. All parties should be arrested and the child protected from them.
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Male 2,902
5cats Wow, you really misunderstand.  

" Let him/her dress up at home, no worries. Go out in public? Present a proper image. "

That right there is why there is a problem.  Let them dress how they want PERIOD, in public or at home.  Let them be who they want to be.  While I feel reassignment at this age is not correct, allowing the child to identify in whatever manner they want is just fine.  If they want to wear a dress and put on makeup, fine and dandy.  "Proper Image" is what the child pictures themselves as, not your idea of normality. 
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Male 39,777
kalron27 When he is EIGHT yes, maintain a proper public image, let him learn some self-control. Some understanding of society. Puberty will come along and 9/10 times throw him for a loop, why destabilize and leave him with ZERO coping skills by pandering to his every whim??? When he is 18 he can dress up like he wants to, tell him that. And at home, no problem.

Why ruin his life with the stigmata and lasting impressions he'll face at such an age? I'll bet the farm he's going to change his mind more than a few times in the next 10 years...

What if your kid wants to run naked? Huh? You going to let them at age 8? Or 12? Or 15? You are a shitty parent if you don't do what is best for the child's future, not just what's the easiest :/ (not you specifically kalron, the universal you eh? How sad the world has become when we have to explain such things...)
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Male 2,902
5cats Good job enforcing your concept of "normal".  You don't understand in the slightest what it is to be transgendered so don't impose your narrowed vision of what should and shouldn't be.  Everything you are implying is what causes the confusion, depression and feelings of not belonging in the younger transgendered.  Again Proper Public Image is what the child feels they want to present themselves as, it is much more harmful to confine them into a tiny box of "normality" just to make you feel comfortable.  If my son wanted to wear a dress and play with dolls then that is what he gets to do, if it was a daughter who wanted short hair, wear jeans and play in the mud all day then so be it.  This is the same mentality that prevented women from playing sports for decades, from holding the same jobs as men, from being equal when it comes to rights.  Now we are dealing with a new level of gender-neutrality or gender-fluid, you will either need to adapt to it or be left behind.
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Male 39,777
kalron27 Society decides what is 'normal' and parents decide how their children should fit into society, or not fit. It's mostly up to them eh?
Genital Mutilation: it's part of many societies, it's 'normal' for them, and parents often force their daughters to do it. Does that make it "right"? In THEIR culture it is! But not in North America, ok?

So WE don't have to alter OUR norms for the freaks from Africa who want to cut up their own children, nor should we have to for the 0.001% who think little Thomas should use the girl's restroom.

Your son can play with dolls all he likes, your daughter can wear a bone through her nose for all I care. BUT YOU cannot FORCE others to accept that as "normal" ok? Because it isn't! Not in our culture. You demand we adapt to you, but you refuse to adapt to the 99.999% majority? Huh?

Are you suggesting all men and women should compete in the same sport at the same time? A one-gender Olympics perhaps? Because THAT is what is actually happening already! That's bogus, and much more harmful to women then your lame examples. Just sayin...
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Male 2,902
5cats Man, you are one backwards individual Mr. Cats.  To even remotely compare genital mutilation to someone who chooses a sex change is down right ignorant of the topic.  Norms of society are always changing, if we went by your logic, all minorities, including women would not be able to vote or have equal rights; only White Men.

You basically do not understand and should not comment further on the topic.  You can continue to hold your out of date discriminations all you want, but sorry, you are now in the minority at this point on the topic.  Most have found acceptance in these life choices individuals are allowed to make now due to our freedoms.

And to call women's rights a lame example to compare this topic to, you just showed your true colors...bigot through and through.

Have fun being left behind...
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Male 39,777
kalron27 Physical and permanent alteration of a child's genitalia for any purpose is wrong. I'm NOT talking about 'wearing a dress' I'm talking about 'corrective surgery' ok? 

If you think an 8 year old should live independently of his/her parents? Do so yourself but do not attempt to "normalize" what amounts to child abuse/neglect.

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Male 2,902
5cats and if you bother to read my reply I said I am against any permanent transitions until adulthood.  But you said that if they want to wear a dress they should stay in the closet at home and not show themselves in public...that is just plan wrong and causes more problems.
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Male 39,777
kalron27 It's my opinion, that inviting stigma on your own 8 year-old is wrong. That's bad parenting. :shrugs:
The ultimate 'goal' is gender reassignment yes? And many advocate for 'early' operations ie: pre-18. I think that's wrong, and taking steps towards that should be slow, cautious and reversible... ie: don't get your child branded for life as a freak because at age 8 he/she went through a phase...
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kalron27 "You'd be surprised how times have changed.  I have a friend whose son, now daughter, came out to everyone at school, living as a girl now at 18.  Nothing but support from friends and teachers alike, and this is a smaller town in a rather conservative area.  

Acceptance actually exists contrary to popular belief :)"

Let's just hope this person or the children in the video arn't part of the 40 percent of post op transexuals that kill themselves when the surgery doesn't solve their dissociation disorder or their feeling of otherness. Too bad we arn't allowed by social justice to learn how to treat people who feel the only way to be happy or fulfilled is to get massive hormone therapy and plastic surgery and mutilate their genitals.  
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Male 2,902
John Heller Sorry but you are way off base on this, see my reply above.
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Male 2,902
bliznik ^This.  Especially considering hormones don't start producing at this age so there is no telling how they will effect the child's development at this point.  To go straight into reassignment is fucking insane.  I'm all for it as a fully matured adult, but to go this route prepubescent is absurd.  

Yes, dress how you want, be what you want but don't consider reassignment on a child, allow them to come to that conclusion after maturing.
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Male 7,582
bliznik Have to agree with you here.
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