Let's Bring Some Happy Back To IAB

Submitted by: insaneai 3 months ago in Lifestyle


Last week while the "fur-flinging fuck fuck games" were going on, I tried to induce peace which backfired.  It sucked pretty bad for me because I was also on the phone more times than I can count keeping one of my friends from committing suicide.  He's in the hospital now getting help so that's good but I'm still pretty down today because I won't be able to check in on him since I work both jobs today and his counseling sessions overlap my commute.  He's been a big brother to me since I was 9 years old; seeing him crack is especially hard because he helped dig me out of suicidal depression years ago.

I am trying to find my center again and renew my commitment to "choose to be happy".  In that effort, I share this Finding Happiness with the IAB community.

Can we get some love on the site today?  

Please share what makes you happy.

I'll start.

When I come home, my wife drops everything and runs up to me saying "You're home, you're home you're home!" and we hug for at least 30 seconds.  Then we all (kids too) share the details of our day before dinner.

I enjoy tending my garden, canning what I grow and sharing it with friends and family.  I thrive in crazy family gatherings where the food love flow freely.

I like to hike in the woods and sit by the creek just to listen to it go by.  When I can't get there in person, I go there in my mind.  I have a place I built as a kid with a Reiki master as my guide; I fly there because it's my imagination and I can.

There are 93 comments:
Male 6,710
I have some more happy, i LOVE to read.  I mean SCI-Fi, Non fiction, drama, and Biography's.  Love Reading, it let's me use my imagination to question my beliefs and my compass.  I love reading to my daughter even though she can't understand anything yet.  One more thing I've been doing is donating my time to various charities around me, helping others has been very helpful for me.
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Female 1,338
When I'm having a bad day or I'm stuck in traffic, I play "Another Day of Sun" from La La Land and fantasize that I'm dancing around the freeway with all different types of people, having a great time laughing and loving everyone.  It's stupid and could never happen, but it makes me happy for some reason.  
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Male 3,147
Watching my children grow into themselves makes me the happiest.  The knowledge that  even if my number comes up tomorrow, I've already done my job of helping to shape them into good people gives me a lot of inner peace.

The other times I'm happiest is when I'm just chilling in my hammock out in the woods of Scotland.  After always having a keen interest in the outdoors and nature I have some serious health issues that mean I can no longer just stick my bergen on my back and set off walking, but every couple of months 3 of my friends help get me and my gear there and we spend a couple of days chilling out.  The fact I have friends that subtly look after me without ever making me feel like shit for needing it makes me very happy.  
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Male 268
I also like to hike and 'smell the roses'. A few weeks ago it was warm here in Michigan and I went hiking. At one point in the trail, a stream of the Huron river ran alongside, and I stopped, sat down, and just marveled at the flowing water and beautifully clear day. Couple minutes later a two deer came walking by alongside the opposite side of the stream. After a couple seconds of eye contact between us, the deer ended up crossing to my side of the stream (didn't know deer could swim?) about 25 feet from me, then walked away. That moment seemed to encapsulate the day for me in a sort of introspective way. Not sure if this helps make you feel better, insaneai, but I figured as a fellow hiker, you might like the story, too. 
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Male 1,396
mrsnowmeiser This experiment seems to have worked and I am checking in daily.  I wanted to find my happiness again and it seems that inciting happiness in others is a good way to do it.

Thanks for sharing your story.  I sat at my computer imagining it; what a great way to start the day!
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Male 2,468
I love music.  I sing, play guitar and a little piano.  I gig occasionally and connecting with an audience is a lot of fun.  That look when you hit upon somebody's favorite song and you know you just made their day and in so doing helps make mine.  My wife of 24 years is a constant reminder of all that is good and our journey so far has been fraught with very little pain.  We get each other and are very content with what we have.  We've become a bit wealthy through discipline and good planing.  One of my favorite things to do is to tip really well and be charitable.      
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Male 319
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOD_LUVx1BE
Dr. Demento 20th anniversary show. I've been a fan since the beginning. This will make you feel great all day.

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Male 37,826
Nice thread! Cool to read various people's thoughts on the subject!


The sequel to "Happyness Is A Warm puppy" eh?
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Male 163
1. my wife, who is always confident in me even when I'm not.
2. Music would be a definite second. 
3. Positive people 
4. Caffeine 

I think thats the essentials 

good post BTW
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Male 1,396
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Male 4,395
insaneai Thank you for this post. It was nice reading everyone's response.
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Male 1,396
markust123 Thanks for participating!  Really.  I needed to find some happiness and I'm glad that my experiment in creating it worked.
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Male 379
Music is probably my greatest joy.  To borrow from theman01, I listen to everything from classical to bluegrass to rap to metal.  Nothing makes me happier than music.

Music is closely followed by guitar.  I play mostly metal and prog because that's what I really connect with but I'll play just about anything that catches my interest or feels good.

Coffee.  Contentedness in a cup :)

And bewbs.  Bewbs also make me happy.  Really happy :)
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Male 1,396
irk I share in your list except the guitar, I was never really good at it.
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Male 379
insaneai Ehhh, you don't have to be good at it.  Sometimes just makin' noise is fun :)
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Male 4,395
What makes me happy is two fold:

First is what I did to get back to happy. I had a pretty easy life up until I was forty. Not money wise - more with support and love, so I wasn't prepared for the bad. In 2008 I had 5 really shitty things happen in the span of a year. It was just a snowball of crap. The negativity led to anger and that led to partisan politics. The partisan us-against-them world thrives on anger. It grabbed hold of me for two solid years. I was able to shed myself of all the negative things in my life but I couldn't break the depression. All that was left to remove was partisan politics. So I got rid of that in little month long breaks. Each time I let go of partisan politics I was happy but I would always be drawn back. Finally in Nov 2010 I was able to completely make the break (I created a zero-profit website on how to do it too if anyone is interested in getting out of that negative world). IAB is the only place I talk politics anymore, and that is only to satisfy my love of fact checking. I'll read something here that just doesn't sound logical and do the research until I find the truth. I should probably stop doing that too because it ends up a lot of times not being a healthy discussion. 

Even with partisan politics out of my life I didn't completely get out of my depression until I talked to my friend Steph. She offered this amazing advice; Whenever that negative voice pops in your head you tell yourself, "That is not the person I want to be." Within a few weeks my depression popped like ears on an airplane. It really was that dramatic of a change. 

One of the things I do to keep myself happy is I always have an event planned way far out in advanced - something to look forward to and live for. In May my partner and I are going on an awesome family vacation that has been in the works for a year and a half. Concerts out on the horizon also do the trick for me. 

A lot of my happy comes from my boyfriend. He grew up in the country and is nice, with a really fun playful side. For instance we feed peanuts to the neighborhood squirrel and to two crows, and today he put a peanut in the mouth of a metal two dimensional statue of a crow that we have by our fireplace. Finding this made me really laugh. Or we have this little plastic ninja and it will show up in the weirdest places. One day it was inside my jar of face cleanser. Another time the ninja was taped to the ceiling above my side of the bed. If my partner is working a long shift I will meet him at the door with his favorite cocktail. I find that if you make an effort to make the people you are with happy, you will be happy. This can be as simple as NOT mentioning something bad about their appearance and instead saying how cool those shoes are, or I love when you don't shave for a few days - it looks so good. Compliments and positivity goes a long way.

I'd like to say that happiness is all in the attitude, but very few people are that lucky. Living in grey Seattle I have to take lots of vitamin D3 or I do get depressed. Chemical imbalance is a real thing. I am very thankful that vitamins are all I have to take and completely understand that some people need to be on antidepressants. I've had two really close, lifelong friends kill themselves. It sucks. Over the phone, I literally talked a third friend off a ledge. We joke about it now but at the time it was traumatizing.
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Male 268
markust123 Liked your expose. Glad you're feeling better, bud. 
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Male 1,396
markust123 I'm going to use Steph's trick.  "That is not the person I want to be." 

I look forward to our next debate.
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Male 12
Nice post.  And thanks for waving your buddies life..advocating is so important. 
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Male 5,181
OOK Actually I like computer designing, creating computer art, drawing and painting
Snuggling with a kitten makes me happy
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Male 5,181
thezigrat The first trick I taught my cat when she was a kitten was to head snuggle on command. I later discovered that head snuggles worked much better than food in teaching her tricks.
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Male 5,181
"To crush your enemies
To see them driven before you
and hear the lamendation of the women. 
These make me happy"
 in my best Conan impersonation
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Female 3,392
thezigrat "eee yah ee!"  <--arnold grunting
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Male 358
What makes me Happy.

1) Coming home, opening the front door, and hearing "Hiya Sweetie!" from my wife downstairs and a chorus of "hi Dad" from my sons.  They're both teenagers and they are still talking to me - I'm in heaven.
2) Designing.  I'm a civil engineer, but after 26 years with my firm, we're divorcing.  So I'm giving retirement a try in June.  Fortunately, I can put my design skills to good use helping my wife with her bag/purse/tote designs (someone has to be able to draw and write the pattern instructions).
3) Volunteering.  Helping kids read at our local primary school.  I'll find more outlets this fall.
4) Reading.  And rereading.  Anything worth reading is worth reading twice.  If you're reading something that isn't a good read the second time around, it was never worth reading.
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Male 265
I divorced my wife about 1 year ago (which alone could be my happy contribution), and we are sharing custody of our daughter (We'll call her "V"). There have been a lot of little incident which tell me the ex trying to undermine V's feelings, so that V will feel bad about spending time with me, or distrust me on a subconscious level, or just have a distaste for being the child of a divorce overall & blame me for it (the ex wants full custody, and I suspect that she is grooming V to choose her over me in a custody battle).

Therefore, I had begun a little tradition when I get V for the week. We would come into my apartment after picking her up from kindergarten and I would say "Shh. Listen. Do you hear that?" and she would say something like "The birds outside?" or" The air conditioner?" and I would say "No. It's the apartment. It's happy that you're here."

Well, that has run its course and she has started rolling her eyes when I say that. So I added a new twist by asking the other day "Do you know what the apartment says when you're at Mommy's?" to which V replied with a pronounced sad face. I said, "No, the apartment isn't sad. The apartment asked 'Where is V?' and I said 'V is with her mommy' and the apartment said 'Oh good. V loves her mommy. She'll have a good time and we'll see her in a couple of days." At which point V got up and ran to one of the walls in the apartment and gave it a hug and a kiss.
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Female 1,338
cheeseb Precious!
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Male 1,396
cheeseb Thank you for taking the high road with V.  It may be hard for the next few years but kids remember more than you think.
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Male 38,501
For happiness try starting your day the way I do. First thing when I get up I open the newspaper and read the Obituaries because you never know when a name will appear that will just make your day.
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Male 38,501
Gerry1of1 Speaking of Better-Dead People.... anyone seen Pmarren lately ?
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Female 3,392
Gerry1of1 or you find a classmate and your own mortality farts in your face for the rest of the day lol
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Male 4,395
I missed your humor, Gerry.
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Male 5,181
Gerry1of1 Not finding my name there makes me happy
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Male 25
I want to start off by saying that I love all of you wonderful people.  Even 5cats.  I miss Davymid.  I'm grateful to Fancylad for all the time, effort, hard work, and dedication that has gone into this site.  I'm grateful to insaneai for making this post, which is a great idea.  

Things that make me happy?  Seeing other people be kind to one another, offering love and support, and coming to realize their true potential.   Visiting other countries to experience those things that we all have in common, despite our cultural, philosophical, religious, and/or political differences.  Seeing people emerge from the bullshit stories we tell ourselves and a daily basis and discard their meanings about things.  And pizza.  And tacos.

Also, the new site layout looks great.  
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Male 268
thunderbear Seconded!  This site is like a small town where everyone seems to know each other and there is constant squabbling, but in the end, we enjoy each other's posts and contributions. At least, that's how I feel about it. 
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Male 995
thunderbear I miss pmarrin. I love my kittahs but he kept it real. Here's one for him. Cats=suck.
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Male 5,181
scheckydamon stick a vacuum in their butt and they will
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Male 97
thunderbear Yes!  i want to second these sentiments.
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Male 37,826
thunderbear Aww! Thanks lurking animal-person! Welcome to IAB! We all miss davymid, and a lot of really nice people who used to come here, but then got real lives :-/
Edit: Like... Opiebreath!
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Male 3,442
batman. last year at toronto fanexpo, there was a rare appearance of mark hamill and kevin conroy together for a live batman and joker presentation. i grew up on batman the animated series, kevin conroy is my batman. frank miller, writer of arguably the greatest batman comics of all time, was also going to be there. i bought a bunch of extra ticket packages that guaranteed me a seat at the mark hamill and kevin conroy presentation and autographs from frank miller, mark hamill and kevin conroy. as a batman fanboy, this was one of the most important events of my life. my dad died two weeks before fanexpo. i was with him when he died, i was with my mom and sister when we picked out the casket and urn, and i was the one who flipped the switch when his body was cremated. we managed to get everything done, the visitation, the funeral, everything, within a week, we knew this was coming for a while, so we had already made a lot of the proper preparations. at the visitation and funeral, i wore my batman the animated series t-shirt, the same t-shirt i would wear a week later when i met kevin conroy. kevin conroy is my batman, batman is my hero, my dad had just died. i told kevin conroy about my dad. i told him my dad wasnt the biggest batman fan, but i wanted to show him this photo
 infront is my big sister and brother, and thats 1 year old me in my dads arm. kevin conroy signed it for me saying, "To Rob, Remember your Dad - a great guy - Kevin Conroy, Batman."
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Male 3,322
Building stuff with my Arduino and my 3d printer.
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Male 2,452
Family... friends... books... lots and lots of books... Quercus alba... fountain pens... running... chess... travel... acorns.

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Male 268
squrlz4ever Or just one really big book. War and Peace anyone?  God, what a tome of a book that was...
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Male 5,181
squrlz4ever
Have a wheel?  I read Squirrels love them more than mice or hamster
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Male 1,396
squrlz4ever Did you ever look further into the Iron Druid Chronicles?  Kevin Hearne is writing his last book for the series now.
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Male 2,452
insaneai I have not. Thanks for the reminder. I'll add that onto my Goodreads list today. Currently working through a couple volumes in the DK Publishing series "Big Ideas Simply Explained." I've got about 20 titles contending after those, but Iron Druid Chronicles is up there.
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Male 5,181
squrlz4ever I personally like the Dune Series including Herbert's son's books
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Male 1,396
squrlz4ever I tend to go with The Great Courses simply because they are on audio book format.  I also have a large queue of books to get through and quite a few more in my wishlist.
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Male 5,181
insaneai Do you have any I deas where to get some good Audio Books on CD. I have vision problems and don't read much from books any more
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Male 1,396
thezigrat I'm partial to Audible.  It's not CD though, its all digital.  I listen on my phone, my computer, my Kindle and my son uses an MP3 player that is set up for Audible use.

Your local library may still carry books on tape or CD for free.

Here are some sites I found using Google but I can't speak for any of them.

Amazon Books on CD search results

https://www.audiobookstand.com/#/new-coming-soon

http://www.simplyaudiobooks.com/

I'm partial to audio books because I simply can't hang my head to read a real book for more than 20 minutes without my arms going numb.  I hope one of the options I found works for you.
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Male 2,452
insaneai Read on! Readers are absolutely essential to a democracy's well-being, or any nation's for that matter, yet it seems there are fewer and fewer individuals out there who make a point of reading something of value (celebrity magazines don't count) on a daily basis. Getting information from cable news, the internet, radio or hearsay will never develop the intellect in the same way. 
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Male 6,710
My Happy Place is achieved from my Family and my daughter.  I have a newborn (my first) she's changed my outlook on life and my role in life.  My wife is awesome and yea.  My other passion is diving into a computer building new machines and fixing them for friends.  I'm a tech nerd through and through.  
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Female 1,338
normalfreak2 OOOOH she's so cute!  
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Male 138
normalfreak2 Pictures!!!

Here's my daughter
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Male 2,452
toetagmodel2 Magnificent photo. Congratulations!
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Male 5,181
toetagmodel2 AWWWW, CUTE BABY
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Male 6,710
toetagmodel2 <3 your daughter Awesome Hair!  Mine is bald still :D
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Male 358
toetagmodel2 Amazing!
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Male 6,710
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Male 5,181
normalfreak2 cute also, looks a bit like Patric Stewart
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Male 138
normalfreak2 Adorable!
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Male 1,396
normalfreak2 Good luck with your baby girl!  Thanks for joining the discussion.
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Male 5,081
bewbz
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Male 1,396
piperfawn Big or small, I like 'em all.  Fried eggs or melons, they take me to heaven!
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Male 1,013
insaneai I'll happily take one of each...
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Female 9,478
My happy comes from baking. I'm working towards going full time into baking as a career, and I hope I can succeed in doing so. 
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Male 358
panth753 I'd be dead in a week if I had to do anything professionally in the kitchen. I'd explode !
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Male 5,181
punko Doing things for pay tends to kill the enjoyment
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Male 1,396
panth753 I wish you the best, and a dough roller for the puff pastry!
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Male 995
A glass of 20 year old Irish whiskey on the couch with my 2 kittahs and my goggie.
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Male 1,396
scheckydamon I'm a fan of Tullamore Dew, what's your poison?  Any suggestions?
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Male 995
insaneai Red Breast or the 18 year old Jamison. I am experimenting with making my own in little 5L Oak casks.
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Male 5,181
scheckydamon Ever try Fire Ball whiskey, It's actually very good
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Male 995
thezigrat I have tried it and I think it has it's place. I always made those insane toothpicks when we were kids so I've always liked cinnamon flavor. My base chili recipe comes from Carol Shelby, the racer, and he adds some cinnamon. It gives a hint before the bite.
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Male 1,396
thezigrat I can't stomach the cinnamon liquors, I've had Fireball, GoldSchlager etc.  I can handle them in mixed drinks, just not straight.
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Male 5,181
insaneai I tried Gold Schlager and was not fond of it. Ever try Yukon Jack? When I was in Collage I loved the stuff. Now that I'm getting to be an old Land Octopus, I feel it is too sweet for my tastes.
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Male 5,181
thezigrat Just do not drink so much you get sick on it, I over did it on "Hot Damn" cinnamon schnaps  once I ralphed for hours and my throat burned so bad I could not talk and I could barely swallow for days and I think Fire Ball would likely be worse
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Male 1,396
scheckydamon I've had the 18 year Jameson, Red Breast is now on the wish list for the bar.
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Male 287
I'm alone right now, but it doesn't ever seem to matter. Most days, I'm a grinning idiot. Gotta find time to have nothing on your mind. You can take it as far as yoga or meditation, but I'm quite fond of the term mindfulness. The more you think about what where you are, what you're doing, the more you'll see reason to laugh, love and all that. That whole unexamined life bit. Remember that everyone around you wants to be their best selves, help them to do that, and let them see the good in you, too. 
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Male 1,396
thething911 Being ok in your own skin is a great way to live.  Thanks for sharing.
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Male 1,013
I'm happy that quite some of my more obscure interests are'nt that wierd after all...to the point where fancyclad was so enthusiatic about my last submission, he posted it and commented on it before i even finished editing it! (I forgot that my current shift aligns my waking hours with you yanks...sorry, fancy, I just re-edited to remove the list play from the embed code).

Seriously, though, my happy comes from my grandaughter. 4 years old. The other day, she went to the loo, sat on it for a minute, got off, walked out side...I said to her, "aren't you gonna flush?". She looked at me like I was an idiot, and said..."Don't worry, Grandpa. It was just a fart." .....how can that not make you laugh!
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Male 5,181
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Male 1,396
buttersrules Some times it's safer not to trust something even when you know it will make you feel better.  You have a smart grand daughter!
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Male 579
A lot of happy comes from family here as well.  Love going home after a long day at work to my daughter's smiling face.  She's just so happy to see me when I get home it's infectious and no matter how bad of a day I had, she lights me up.  Then when she goes to take a bath and the wife pulls out and loads a bowl, things get even happier.

This weekend we also went to iFly for some indoor skydiving.  Talk about fun.  Little sore today from it, but it sure was fun and left a smile on me, my wife and my daughter's faces.
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Male 1,396
waldo863 In door sky diving sounds like fun.  How is it on the neck?  I'm fused and can't ever ride another roller coaster or go zip lining etc.
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Male 579
insaneai They ask if you have any neck or back injuries and while flying you do kinda need to be looking forward, so if it hurts you to look up and hold your neck there for about a minute, probably not a good idea.  I however was in an accident when I was 14 and suffered from whiplash and have a couple disc fused in my neck as well.  No problem for me.  My legs, lower back and sides are kinda sore today though.  Not bad sore though, just like good workout sore.  If there's a place near you, just go talk to them, tell them about your issues and they should be able to work with you.
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Male 5,181
waldo863 Is a neck brace able to be worn when diving?
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Male 579
thezigrat doubtful, but I guess you could ask.  The problem I see with that is that it keeps your head looking straight forward.  When skydiving, or in the tunnel, that would leave you facing straight down.  You need to look straight ahead, as if you were looking up in a sitting standing position. When you look down while diving, it's much more difficult to control yourself.  You do not have to move your head side to side though, in fact that's bad and causes you to lose control as well.  So if the neck brace lets you look up, sure, if not, no.  I think you'd be fine without one even if you normally need one as being in the wind tunnel with air rushing by your head makes it a little more difficult than normal to turn your head anyway.  Just look up.
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Male 5,181
waldo863 soo a full body cast is out too, I guess
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Male 1,396
waldo863 Thanks for the advice!  I'll look it up.  I'm within reasonable distance of a major city so I suspect there will be something there for me.
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Male 579
insaneai They do have locations all over, but this particular chain, which are the guys who invented the indoor skydiving wind tunnels, started in Austin and just put on here in San Antonio about a year ago or so.  They only have about 30 or so locations nationwide, 2 international.  5 of the 30 are here in TX and there's another 6 in CA.

https://www.iflyworld.com/find-a-tunnel/

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Male 5,181
waldo863  Back when I worked Rehab, My office mate who was visually impaired went sky diving. Ever hear a seeing eye dog scream at 3000 feet?
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Female 3,392
My happy comes from my family too.  My elder son and his family are staying here temporarily so with my other kid too that make 5 adults, 1 toddler and 1 8 month old in the house so chaos reigns right now lol.  If we're not outside the kids and I are linked up throughout the house playing some video game co-op (dying light, starcraft, battlefield 1 etc)  my poor husband hehe
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Male 1,396
melcervini Awesome!
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