Another Job You Never Heard Of: People Walker

Submitted by: lalapancakes 3 months ago Lifestyle


The pay is a little low for me in the career field of walking humans at $7 a mile, but I could see myself leaving my whole entire profession of writing and arranging people’s therapies for going for walks... with people. In this day and age of "first world" capitalism there are the well known pet sitters and dog walkers but there are apparently now, human walkers? Seems a little more healthy than being a Lyft driver. Could this be the next career for you?
There are 10 comments:
Female 9,456
I could do this. I need the money and want to loose weight, so this can kill two birds with one stone.
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Male 2,105
LaLa, I would love to hire you to take me on walks. There are, however, several special considerations.

1. I do not walk so much as hop, crawl, and scurry. Therefore, rather than proceed at a steady gait, you may have to continually adjust your pace from baby steps to a brisk jog, depending.

2. While not a must, a leash might be a good idea. I may need to be restrained if I see a retirement home baking holiday cookies or a convenience store selling Crunchie bars.

3. If a dog is encountered en route, I may require protection. If you are wearing a roomy hoodie or jacket, that can be a good place to provide me refuge. Alternately, I could just run up your pants leg.

4. I will require stimulating conversation to keep my spirits from flagging due to the exertion of the walk. (I don't get out much and have put on a few pounds of winter hibernation weight.) I am confident this will be no problem whatsoever for you.

5. In the unlikely event that the GSGI (Great Space Gopher Invasion) occurs in the middle of one of our walks, I will need to be transported with all possible speed to the nearest NORAD Command Center.

6. Lastly, there is the matter of compensation, and this could be the deal-breaker. The pay for a Squirrel Walker is peanuts. Literally.

Yours sincerely, et cetera, et cetera,
Squrlz
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Male 1,255
squrlz4ever I'd feel more comfortable putting you in one of those cat/dog strollers for a safer walk, little friend.
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Male 2,105
lalapancakes You are one smart hooman. I didn't even know such things exist! ~thinking~ Yes, yes... this could work... although I need to look into whether it can be pimped out with some aftermarket spinning rims and a kickass sound system so we can play War's "Lowrider." I have an image to maintain with the lady squirrels around here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ro4yhp9L6Ok

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Male 1,879
squrlz4ever Hey squrlz!  I think we met today!  I was leaving a building at work and you wondered across my path, stopped and approached me.  I clicked my tongue and you came over are climbed my leg.  It just so happened I had a pack of crackers on me and you graciously took one and happily scampered away.  If it was you, it made my day :)
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Male 2,105
squrlz4ever White guy, early to mid-30s, medium build, reddish-brown hair, jacket? Yeah, that was me. Like Cupid or the Tooth Fairy, I pay occasional low-profile visits to random IAB'ers. You earned 35 SKP's (Squirrel Karma Points), which may be redeemed if you ever have a birdfeeder or attic you want the local squirrels to leave alone. Thanks for the cracker!
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Male 1,879
squrlz4ever Oh and I do feed my local squirrels at home, they are sooooo fat this winter!
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Male 1,879
squrlz4ever It's actually blondish but some light can give a red tinge, and you are too kind with the age but all the drugs I've done have definitely preserved me well ;)
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Male 522
I'm pretty sure that job already exists.  It's called tour guide.  It pays more too.
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Male 359
I have people (walking) SKILLS!
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