And Then There Was That Time A Crazy Squirrel Attacked A Senior Citizen Home

Submitted by: dromed 10 months ago in Funny
There are 12 comments:
Male 4,138
.22 AR platform rifle works wonders with these little devils.
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Female 8,045
I think that's a little excessive for Campylobacter- they're pretty small?
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Male 4,883
~Squrlz sticks a pin in his Trimble voodoo doll~
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Female 8,045
My Grandmother got badly bitten in Hyde Park many years ago- she thinks it mistook her ring for a nut...
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Male 4,883
I am so sorry to hear this! Squirrels don't often bite. It certainly is true that some of us get overexcited around certain types of nuts (for me, it's hazelnuts) and will mistakenly bite a human finger. One plus: Rabies, among squirrels, is almost unheard of. In the U.S., at least, there's never been a documented case.
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Female 8,045
Rabies isn't present in the UK. anything that has teeth will bite if it feels threatened or is generally pissed off. Treat all living things with kindness and respect- apart fron Campylobacter- they can sod off.
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Male 4,883
OK, I'm not gonna lie: IT WAS THE SMELL OF ALL THOSE HAZELNUTS! Roasted hazelnuts were all over the place... somebody was baking cookies and hazelnuts are basically like squirrel cocaine. What did they expect? My brain was sreaming YUMMY YUMMY OMG WHERE ARE THE HAZELNUTS... I was racing around trying to grab them and then this lady comes flailing at me with her cane and then it was just a blur of pastel pantsuits and silver hair and walkers with yellow tennis balls stuck on the legs. Three minutes of chaos later, I'm being tossed out in the cold by some orderly wearing leather gloves. Hmph. I haven't found a way back in yet, but I'm looking. Santa isn't the only one who can go down chimneys, if you know what I mean.
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Male 1,049
This made me laugh! But how could you smell the hazelnuts over the stench of stale urine and Bengay??
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Male 4,883
If the question is, What is the predominant smell in a senior citizen home? The answer is, Depends.  :)
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Male 1,049
roflmao!!!! Well said, my nutty friend. You win the interwebz!
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Male 4,099
Humans... the greatest apex predator ever known with the ability to wipe out all other species... yet defenseless against a single Squirrel...lol
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Male 1,665
Lived in Florida for a long time, it may have been a revenge attack
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