Somewhere along the way, pop/rock music lost its true calling. Turn on the radio today and all you”ll hear are songs about dancing, drinking and dougie-ing (whatever the hell that is). Back in the day, though, you heard grown-a** men singing semi-creepy songs about the sexual appeal of teenage girls, a.k.a. GOOD MUSIC. Some of these songs were creepier than others… now don”t get me wrong I am a fan, but if you listen to the lyrics you can pick up a faint pedoish/teen stalker theme.
“Seventeen” by Foreigner
The protagonist of this song knows his love is wrong – he just doesn”t care (“They said I was playin” with fire / I knew I had to take a chance”). Foreigner mostly fits in this category for their choice of cover art – a slightly disturbing photo of a terrified looking teen girl sitting on a urinal.
“Young Girl” by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap
Judging by the chorus (“Young girl, get out of my mind / My love for you is way out of line”), the protagonist is at least self-aware. He”s not self-aware enough, however, to not blame the victim for his teen lust (“Beneath your perfume and your make-up / You”re just a baby in disguise / And though you know that it”s wrong to be / Alone with me / That come on look is in your eyes”).
“You”re Sixteen, You”re Beautiful (and You”re Mine)” by Johnny Burnette
The only thing better than hooking up with a teenage girl is owning a teenage girl. One question, though: How can a sixteen year old have “lips like strawberry wine”? Shouldn”t they taste more like Capri Sun?
“Vehicle” by Ides of March
“Hey well, I”m a friendly stranger in a black Sedan / Won”t you hop inside my car? / I got pictures, got candy, I”m a lovable man / And I can take you to the nearest star.” This one could actually be about a “legal” aged girlfriend, but the candy line does conjure up thoughts of the “vehicle” being a “pedovan”. Child abduction has never sounded so… rock n” roll!
“Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen” by Neil Sedaka
Neil Sedaka sort of looks like a creep. Lyrics include, “Tonight”s the night I”ve waited for / Because you”re not a baby anymore / You”ve turned into the prettiest girl I”ve ever seen.” Hey…at least he waited, right?!?
“Thank Heaven for Little Girls” by Maurice Chevalier
This song, from the musical “Gigi,” describes little girls as having “little eyes so helpless and appealing.” Not sure if this one belongs on the list…
“Sixteen” by The Crests
This song proves that its OK to perv on young girls, as long as you do so respectfully (You”re only sixteen / But you”re my teenage queen). At least these guy were teens as well. That helps.
The Police – Don”t Stand So Close To Me
Sting wrote this song about a “situation” he had involving a student from his class when he was a teacher.
Rolling Stones – Brown Sugar
“Brown Sugar/You know you taste so good/Brown Sugar/Just like a young girl should.” Hey everyone knows Mick Jagger is a full on creep… for uh… reasons.
The Knack – My Sharona
“I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind” Oh reaaaaallly? (Love this song)
Queens Of The Stone Age – Little Sister
This is pretty rapey. Is she at least his step sister? I hope they aren”t singing about incest… too.
Kiss – Christine Sixteen
“I dont usually say things like this to girls your age, but when I saw you Coming out of the school that day, that day I knew, I knew, I”ve got to have You, I”ve got to have you.” Need I say more?
The Beatles – I Saw Her Standing There
“She was just 17, you know what I mean”? Lol?
Oingo Boingo – Little Girls
I challenge you all to walk down the street singing this to yourself in broad daylight. Do it!!!! I”d post some lyrics, but the whole song is just a little… different.
Itsy Bitsy Titsy Girl by Deadsy
I saved the worst/best offender for last. If this isn”t pedorrific, I don”t know what is. This was deeply disturbing…
See if any of these songs set off your “Pedo-meter”, or just seem a little on the creepy side.