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How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket [Pic]

One night I was driving to dump some trash at a spot I know of in the woods,kinda drunk and speeding a little.
All of a sudden I see flashing lights behind me and it”s the law again.
So I pull over.
The officer approaches my truck and says
“Sir, you were speeding and weaving all over the road.”
“Oh, I see.” I said to the cop.
Officer: “Can I see your license please?”
So I say “Id give it to you but I dont have one.”
Officer: “Dont have one?”
I say “Nope, lost it on my fifth drunk driving charge.”
Officer: “I seeCan I see your vehicle registration papers please?”
“I cant really do that.” I slurred.
Officer: “Why not?”
I say kinda cocky like “Cause I stole this car.”
Officer: “You stole it?”
I smile at him and say “Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
His body parts are in plastic bags in the back of the truck if you want to see.”
The Officer looked at me and slowly backed away to his car, and called for back up.
Within minutes, 5 police cars circled the truck. A senior officer slowly approaches the
car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: “Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!”
I get out of my truck trying not to stumble or anything.
I ask politely “Is there a problem officer?”
Officer 2: “One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered
the owner.”
I acted shocked “Murdered the owner?”
Officer 2: “Yes, could you please open those trash bags in the back of the truck.”
So I commence to ripping open my weeks worth of trash bags. He can see it”s all just
household garbage and other trash.
Officer 2: “Is this your truck, sir?”
I pull the registration papers down from behind the sun visor “Yes, here are the registration papers.”
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: “My officer claims that you do not have a drivers license.”
I reached back and pulled out my old wallet, flipping it open to show my license.
He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: “Thank you Sir. My officer told me you didnt have a license, that you stole this car, and
that you had murdered and hacked up the owner.”
So I said “Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.”

It don”t always work…but give it a try sometime.

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Category: Funny
Date: 03/16/14 09:38 AM

10 Responses to How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of UncleBallSak
    UncleBallSak Male 60-69
    123 posts
    March 15, 2014 at 1:37 pm
    Link: How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket - It don`t always work...but give it a try sometime.
  2. Profile photo of xavroche
    xavroche Male 30-39
    819 posts
    March 16, 2014 at 10:45 am
    How to get beat up and shot.
  3. Profile photo of drawman61
    drawman61 Male 50-59
    7707 posts
    March 16, 2014 at 10:59 am
    Good one.
  4. Profile photo of kinky_afr0
    kinky_afr0 Male 18-29
    583 posts
    March 16, 2014 at 11:21 am
    old joke is old
  5. Profile photo of JadesDitoyr
    JadesDitoyr Male 18-29
    841 posts
    March 16, 2014 at 11:32 am
    They have even heftier fines if you do that.
  6. Profile photo of NottaSpy
    NottaSpy Male 40-49
    881 posts
    March 16, 2014 at 11:34 am
    "How to get beat up and shot."
    ...or brought up on obstruction charges.
  7. Profile photo of liabach
    liabach Male 40-49
    3242 posts
    March 16, 2014 at 11:52 am
    I think thats about the time they hand cuff you and put meth in your back pocket.
  8. Profile photo of piratefish
    piratefish Male 40-49
    675 posts
    March 16, 2014 at 2:00 pm
    Nice joke, but the first officer would have cuffed him and investigated before back-up arrived. Not to mention that today, most departments have their officers miked. Plus, we call in the tags first and would already know to whom the vehicle is registered and on which vehicle the tags belong.

    Still funny. Old, but funny.
  9. Profile photo of turdburglar
    turdburglar Male 30-39
    4563 posts
    March 16, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    Let`s take an obvious joke (funny or not) and nit pick it apart pretending how it would happen in reality.
    It`s almost as funny as the joke, except sad and pathetic.
  10. Profile photo of Armus
    Armus Male 30-39
    52 posts
    March 16, 2014 at 11:22 pm
    What? No tasers?

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