One night I was driving to dump some trash at a spot I know of in the woods,kinda drunk and speeding a little.
All of a sudden I see flashing lights behind me and it”s the law again.
So I pull over.
The officer approaches my truck and says
“Sir, you were speeding and weaving all over the road.”
“Oh, I see.” I said to the cop.
Officer: “Can I see your license please?”
So I say “Id give it to you but I dont have one.”
Officer: “Dont have one?”
I say “Nope, lost it on my fifth drunk driving charge.”
Officer: “I seeCan I see your vehicle registration papers please?”
“I cant really do that.” I slurred.
Officer: “Why not?”
I say kinda cocky like “Cause I stole this car.”
Officer: “You stole it?”
I smile at him and say “Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
His body parts are in plastic bags in the back of the truck if you want to see.”
The Officer looked at me and slowly backed away to his car, and called for back up.
Within minutes, 5 police cars circled the truck. A senior officer slowly approaches the
car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: “Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!”
I get out of my truck trying not to stumble or anything.
I ask politely “Is there a problem officer?”
Officer 2: “One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered
I acted shocked “Murdered the owner?”
Officer 2: “Yes, could you please open those trash bags in the back of the truck.”
So I commence to ripping open my weeks worth of trash bags. He can see it”s all just
household garbage and other trash.
Officer 2: “Is this your truck, sir?”
I pull the registration papers down from behind the sun visor “Yes, here are the registration papers.”
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: “My officer claims that you do not have a drivers license.”
I reached back and pulled out my old wallet, flipping it open to show my license.
He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: “Thank you Sir. My officer told me you didnt have a license, that you stole this car, and
that you had murdered and hacked up the owner.”
So I said “Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.”
It don”t always work…but give it a try sometime.