American Jewish Man Gets Queen`s Guard To Crack

Submitted by: iansquall 2 years ago Misc

Actually snorted, this is ingenious.
There are 24 comments:
Male 987
TheZigRat, the Guards are not James Bond, they do not have a "license to kill," although under certain circumstances they may have a duty to kill. More particularly, they have a duty to do what is necessary and appropriate to protect the royal family and residence and certain other properties.

Interfering with the Guard while on duty can result in arrest. He has a series of protocols to deal with nuisances, including a discreet method of calling for assistance.

As far as I know, they are not formally punished for smiling, or even laughing, while on post, but they take pride in their stoicism.
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Male 329
@whodat6484 aargh character limit: check the jokes here
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Male 329
@whodat6484:
The CIA has three candidates, two men and a woman, for one assassin position.

On the final day of testing, the CIA proctor leads the first male candidate to a large steel door and hands him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions, regardless of the circumstances," he explains. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The man is horrified, "You can`t be serious! I could never shoot my wife!"

"Well," says the proctor, "you`re definitely not the right man for this job then."

The CIA proctor leads the second male candidate to another large steel door and hands him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions, no matter what the circumstances," the proctor explains. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The second man steadies hi
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Male 1,397
...."he has a wife, you know!"
...."Incontinentia!"
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Male 14,330
Stupid defined. Leaving an antiquated tradition of a guard with just a sword goose stepping around who is said can`t laugh for a useless royal family. You wonder why people try to make them laugh it begs for it.
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Male 14,773
I recommend sniper cover. One shot one tourist.
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Female 3,178
Lando.. I thought Elton John WAS the Queen of England? *rimshot* thank you! i`ll be here all week
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Female 2,509
Aw, I hope the poor guy didnt get fired
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Male 14,773
You should try this in North Korea.
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Male 3,842
For some reason this reminds me of a remark I heard, although I can`t remember where I heard it. Imagine if, God forbid, the Queen of England was attacked. Then, the knights who have sworn with their lives to defend her would be required by duty to leap into action and subdue the attacker.

Then, in the right situation, you just might see Sir Elton John, Sir Paul McCartney, and Sir Mick Jagger have to kick someone`s ass!
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Male 37,888

@ whodat - well they aught to be allowed to shoot tourists.
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Male 3,502
im kidding btw He wouldn`t have killed his parents to get in the marines. He would kill them for the bus money.
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Male 3,502
"Reminds me of all the sh*t we used to hear when we trained and served with other countries armys in Iraq/Afghan. The most common one was, "I heard that to be a Marine you had to kill a member of your family to prove your loyalty."
I think a guy I knew from college is in serious trouble... He was trying to join the Marines but he was a bit psyco too.
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Male 3,909
"He could blow the tourists head off and very few questions would be asked..."

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Do you believe every urban legend you hear? Guards who are standing post need a legit reason to use deadly force, they can`t just kill a tourist for being annoying.

Reminds me of all the sh*t we used to hear when we trained and served with other countries armys in Iraq/Afghan. The most common one was, "I heard that to be a Marine you had to kill a member of your family to prove your loyalty."
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Male 3,502
I know a a man who was kicked in the groin by one for "accidently touching a guard on duty.
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Female 2,228
Is that personal experience I hear there Zigrat? ;-)
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Male 3,502
Poeople should realize that Those guards all have licenses to kill. He could blow the tourists head off and very few questions would be asked, These are highly trained guards with an extreme amount od discipline and pride.It`s best Not to provoke them. And what ever you do DO NOT TOUCH ONE ON DUTY IF YOU VALUE YOUR HEALTH AND PRIVATE PARTS!
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Male 364
Im sure the replies would be different if this was Johnny Knoxville or Triumph the dog.
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Male 7,123
Obnoxious defined.
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Female 7,833
Why do people DO this? It is not funny- these men have to do their job, they do it well and to fart around next to them is just being a total arse..
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Female 2,228
I`d be too embarrassed to pull anything like that, it`s a terrible way to be a guest in another country and I bet they get tired of it. I`d wrap a tight scarf around my mouth (to show I`m no threat) and just pass by...
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Male 1,745
That wasn`t even that funny. That guy must be a newbie.
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Male 997
Congratulations sir, you just got him in trouble and extra guard duty. They don`t like it and usually get given more as a punishment...
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Female 601
Link: American Jewish Man Gets Queen`s Guard To Crack [Rate Link] - Actually snorted, this is ingenious.
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