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Category: Misc
Date: 08/27/13 05:38 PM

20 Responses to Squrlz4Sale Is a Striker

  1. Profile photo of piperfawn
    piperfawn Male 30-39
    4911 posts
    August 27, 2013 at 5:39 pm
    Link: Squrlz4Sale Is a Striker - What Squrlz4Sale do when is not busy doing test in I-A-B
  2. Profile photo of scheckydamon
    scheckydamon Male 60-69
    708 posts
    August 27, 2013 at 6:14 pm
    Bet he didn`t have to wait two hours to get through security.
  3. Profile photo of Jake_Justus
    Jake_Justus Male 50-59
    7033 posts
    August 27, 2013 at 6:25 pm

    Is there a company run by animal trainers who are paid to release animals into sporting events so the news agencies can get "cute" stories for the evening broadcasts?
  4. Profile photo of BritInvasion
    BritInvasion Male 18-29
    311 posts
    August 27, 2013 at 6:39 pm
    You would think none of them have seen a squirrel before the way they reacted after it left the court.

    Jake, I will assist you with that company if you wish to start it. Could be interesting.
  5. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    32834 posts
    August 27, 2013 at 6:45 pm
    @piperfawn means "streaker" eh? Someone who runs naked in public...

    That might be @BDiddy too... or @forSquirrels... any other "nutty" IAB members I`m forgetting?
  6. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    August 27, 2013 at 6:55 pm
    I wasn`t trying to streak (even though I was without my squirrel underpants); I was just trying to fulfill my dreams of being the first "ball squirrel" at the U.S. Open.

    But the staff rejected me. Said I was "unqualified" on account of not being human. My dreams were dashed. Bastards! ~shakes closed paw angrily~
  7. Profile photo of Draculya
    Draculya Male 40-49
    14629 posts
    August 27, 2013 at 9:02 pm
    What`s the ridiculous filter for
  8. Profile photo of Atrayu4u
    Atrayu4u Female 18-29
    1478 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 12:29 am
    Oh, piper.
  9. Profile photo of ferdyfred
    ferdyfred Male 40-49
    13631 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 12:48 am
    @Squrlz4Sale
    Try n get you into next years Wimbledon
    I know a mate of a mate !
  10. Profile photo of Nickel2
    Nickel2 Male 50-59
    5879 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 12:57 am
    Squirrel still gets the best seat in the house free!

  11. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 1:47 am
    @ Ferdyfred: Thanks. I honestly don`t know what they were thinking at the U.S. Open. I can zip across a court and grab an errant ball faster than any of those gangly humans they employ. *sigh*

    @Nickel2: LOL. Ish berry cute. Your squirrel there looks like he`s about to bounce the ball with his racquet a few times before launching into a powerful serve.
  12. Profile photo of JadesDitoyr
    JadesDitoyr Male 18-29
    841 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 2:05 am
    @Squrlz,

    I think its more a concern about your safety. Those balls fly awful fast and hit awful hard. Your dedication and valor are well known, as is the dedication and valor of all squirrels. We wouldn`t want you to leap into the air to catch an errant ball, only to have it carry you into one of the walls.

    While we know that you`d be fine, mostly, after such an incident, the US Open cannot handle the negative publicity that they would receive should a squirrel of your stature receive injury. The liability is just too great.
  13. Profile photo of ferdyfred
    ferdyfred Male 40-49
    13631 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 2:17 am
    @Squrlz4Sale
    Have to agree
    I call squirrelist its wrong and needs to be addressed
  14. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 3:00 am
    @ JadesDitoyr: Hmmmm. You mean my rejection may not have been a matter of my abilities? Well, that certainly takes some of the sting out of it. Hadn`t considered the safety/liability angle. Stupid lawyers. ~tail becomes a bit more buoyant~

    You just watch: Once Wimbledon starts using "ball squirrels," every major tournament will be scrambling to get onboard with this. They`ll be claiming they knew squirrels and tennis were a perfect fit all along.
  15. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    32834 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 6:07 am
    But @Squrlz4? Don`t you remember your tryout?

    You`d grab a ball in your teeth.
    You`d scamper to the nearest oak tree.
    You`d secretly bury the ball.
    You`d scamper back.

    After the 5th time they were chasing you with brooms.
    Remember? :-)
    I wish I had video of it...
  16. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 6:43 am
    @ 5Cats: Hmph. Nowhere in the tryout flyers did they say they wanted the balls *back*. Like they don`t have enough of them! Also I take exception to their claims that I lacked the ability to focus for any length of time. Ridiculous.

    ~shakes empty hazelnut tin~ Darn it, I`m out of nuts again. Oh, and the other thing that pissed me off was when they said I had a hard time concentrating.
  17. Profile photo of JadesDitoyr
    JadesDitoyr Male 18-29
    841 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 11:06 am
    In fairness, @Squrlz, the position you were trying out for was all about bringing the balls back.
  18. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    In fairness, Squrlz, the position you were trying out for was all about bringing the balls back.
    They just lack my vision. Thirty years from now, when those tennis ball trees start bearing fruit, they`ll be thanking me.
  19. Profile photo of JadesDitoyr
    JadesDitoyr Male 18-29
    841 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 1:52 pm
    Oh, I am sure. You did properly score them so that they will grow, right? Get the trees off to a proper start?

    You always need fresh tennis balls to play tennis. Once they go stale, its all over. (I`m told that this is actually a thing...)
  20. Profile photo of The_Gent
    The_Gent Male 18-29
    120 posts
    August 28, 2013 at 6:27 pm
    you know your match isn`t that thrilling when the highlight of the day is a squirrel...and ordinary squirrel.

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