Squrlz4Sale Is a Striker

Submitted by: piperfawn 4 years ago in Misc

What Squrlz4Sale do when is not busy doing test in I-A-B
There are 20 comments:
Male 120
you know your match isn`t that thrilling when the highlight of the day is a squirrel...and ordinary squirrel.
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Male 837
Oh, I am sure. You did properly score them so that they will grow, right? Get the trees off to a proper start?

You always need fresh tennis balls to play tennis. Once they go stale, its all over. (I`m told that this is actually a thing...)
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Male 6,227

[quote]In fairness, Squrlz, the position you were trying out for was all about bringing the balls back.[/quote]
They just lack my vision. Thirty years from now, when those tennis ball trees start bearing fruit, they`ll be thanking me.
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Male 837
In fairness, @Squrlz, the position you were trying out for was all about bringing the balls back.
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Male 6,227
@ 5Cats: Hmph. Nowhere in the tryout flyers did they say they wanted the balls *back*. Like they don`t have enough of them! Also I take exception to their claims that I lacked the ability to focus for any length of time. Ridiculous.

~shakes empty hazelnut tin~ Darn it, I`m out of nuts again. Oh, and the other thing that pissed me off was when they said I had a hard time concentrating.
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Male 40,772
But @Squrlz4? Don`t you remember your tryout?

You`d grab a ball in your teeth.
You`d scamper to the nearest oak tree.
You`d secretly bury the ball.
You`d scamper back.

After the 5th time they were chasing you with brooms.
Remember? :-)
I wish I had video of it...
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Male 6,227
@ JadesDitoyr: Hmmmm. You mean my rejection may not have been a matter of my abilities? Well, that certainly takes some of the sting out of it. Hadn`t considered the safety/liability angle. Stupid lawyers. ~tail becomes a bit more buoyant~

You just watch: Once Wimbledon starts using "ball squirrels," every major tournament will be scrambling to get onboard with this. They`ll be claiming they knew squirrels and tennis were a perfect fit all along.
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Male 13,630
@Squrlz4Sale
Have to agree
I call squirrelist its wrong and needs to be addressed
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Male 837
@Squrlz,

I think its more a concern about your safety. Those balls fly awful fast and hit awful hard. Your dedication and valor are well known, as is the dedication and valor of all squirrels. We wouldn`t want you to leap into the air to catch an errant ball, only to have it carry you into one of the walls.

While we know that you`d be fine, mostly, after such an incident, the US Open cannot handle the negative publicity that they would receive should a squirrel of your stature receive injury. The liability is just too great.
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Male 6,227
@ Ferdyfred: Thanks. I honestly don`t know what they were thinking at the U.S. Open. I can zip across a court and grab an errant ball faster than any of those gangly humans they employ. *sigh*

@Nickel2: LOL. Ish berry cute. Your squirrel there looks like he`s about to bounce the ball with his racquet a few times before launching into a powerful serve.
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Male 5,872
Squirrel still gets the best seat in the house free!

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Male 13,630
@Squrlz4Sale
Try n get you into next years Wimbledon
I know a mate of a mate !
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Female 1,478
Oh, piper.
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Male 15,271
What`s the ridiculous filter for
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Male 6,227
I wasn`t trying to streak (even though I was without my squirrel underpants); I was just trying to fulfill my dreams of being the first "ball squirrel" at the U.S. Open.

But the staff rejected me. Said I was "unqualified" on account of not being human. My dreams were dashed. Bastards! ~shakes closed paw angrily~
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Male 40,772
@piperfawn means "streaker" eh? Someone who runs naked in public...

That might be @BDiddy too... or @forSquirrels... any other "nutty" IAB members I`m forgetting?
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Male 312
You would think none of them have seen a squirrel before the way they reacted after it left the court.

Jake, I will assist you with that company if you wish to start it. Could be interesting.
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Male 7,031

Is there a company run by animal trainers who are paid to release animals into sporting events so the news agencies can get "cute" stories for the evening broadcasts?
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Male 1,347
Bet he didn`t have to wait two hours to get through security.
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Male 5,167
Link: Squrlz4Sale Is a Striker [Rate Link] - What Squrlz4Sale do when is not busy doing test in I-A-B
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