Squrlz Is Getting Desperate [Pic]

Submitted by: Squrlz4Sale 4 years ago in Funny

Dear Diary: 2 years and 1 month after joining, still no female squirrels on I-A-B.
There are 37 comments:
Female 4,359
everyones mother thinks they are good looking. My children, for instance, are supergods, and better than any other children, ever. I will check said comments. They better be interesting, or I might have to spam you again ;)
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Male 6,227
@ Emmettyville: O ye of little faith. I`m quite the dashing squirrel, thankyouverymuch. At least my own mother thinks so. =^.^=

PS: Did you see my comment regarding you on the little kiddies` haka post?
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Female 4,359
Besides squirz, who knows, you may look like this
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Female 4,359
I dont think we get rabies in NZ. I wish we had squirells though, cause they are cute as. We have stoats. They are not cute. We also have rats, which are OK. Possums are pretty cute imo, but they carry TB and destroy native forests...I`d also like to import those gorgeous albino hedgehogs you can have as pets.
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Male 6,227
@ Sutra: Awww. You`re a sweetheart. No worries: I am certifiably free of rabies and have my vaccination record on file.

@ Wendypants: Sank chew! =^.^=
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Female 2,415
And good luck Squrlz!
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Female 2,415
Thanks Broizfam!!
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Female 2,549
Squrlz hope you had your shots, there is going to be a lot of ladies with the bushel full of nuts...
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Male 6,227
@ Emmettyville: [quote]holy s hit, this is a dating site?[/quote]
It could be. ~wink~
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Female 4,359
holy s hit, this is a dating site?
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Male 6,227
@ 5Cats: Thanks. I`ll stick with the full name then. Regarding my e-mail address, I`ve had it up for about a year. Feel free to drop me a line!
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Male 40,382
My original plan was to "password protect" the IAB @Squrlz name and hold it for ransom. }-)

But then I thought: What am I going to do with 200 acorns? |-X
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Male 40,382
@Squrlz4: I`d say... Keep the long version! History is something that cannot be easily replaced! Good or bad? It`s part of you. Your IAB `you` I mean... it`s just my opinion of course, change = bad!

Hee hee! I click on your "home page" ! Brilliant!

Sorry I never noticed you`ve got contact information in your profile (I do too!). Was that there all this time? I feel terrible right now (ugh! Getting over 2+ weeks of irritable bowels, I think it`s done though! Phew!) but will send off an e-mail or 3 in the upcoming days :-)

@broizfam: You are a SICK little monkey! :-) I like that about you! (lolz!)

And people think I`M weird for looking at cute catgirls... :rolleyes:
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Male 6,227
@ 5Cats: I figured you were kidding. What do you think? Move to "Squrlz" or keep "Squrlz4Sale"?

@ Broizfam: LOL! I find the Russian squirrel-girl most appealing. But I`ve heard that once you`re married, they max out your credit cards on luxury handbags and then flee back to their mamas in Moscow. =O.O=
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Male 6,070
Or maybe you want a stronger woman!

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Male 6,070
Maybe one of these, then?


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Male 40,382
~runs off and makes an account called @squrlz~

MWAA!~ Hahaha! I`m evil! E-VIL!

(Just kidding, I didn`t do any such thing!)
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Male 6,227
~ponders MrPeabody`s sage advice~

Good thoughts there, Mr. Peabody. Actually, I`ve been considering replacing this account with one simply called "Squrlz"--but I`d lose all my post history, so I`m undecided on it.
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Male 1,920
Oh also, don`t act so desperate, female squirrels can smell desperation.
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Male 1,920
@Squrlz4Sale

I thing the problem is that you are sending mixed messages. First you say:
[quote]The promiscuity of flying squirrels is well-known in the animal kingdom. Female flying squirrels usually have names like Candi, Bunny, or Desire. I`m looking for something more stable at this point in my life.[/quote]

Then you turn around and say:
[quote]Actually, I`m offering *to pay*. You think I need to offer more than a walnut?[/quote]

Any decent, self respecting girl would be insulted by your offer to pay for their affection. You should also consider dropping the `4Sale` and just go with `Squrlz` because `Squrlz4Sale` could be taken the wrong way.

Just my humble opinion.
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Male 6,227
@ Madduck: Ahhh, ma cherie, if only you were a bushy-tailed doe--we would make the treetops sway with our passions! Perhaps someday soon the Supreme Court will clear the way for squirrel-human marriages. Until then: tummy rubs!

@ Broizfam: I think I draw the line at walkers. But thanks for trying.

@ MrPeabody: The promiscuity of flying squirrels is well-known in the animal kingdom. Female flying squirrels usually have names like Candi, Bunny, or Desire. I`m looking for something more stable at this point in my life.

@ 5Cats: Ahhh, you`ve found the infamous "Squrlz Sex Tape." Yes, one of my youthful indiscretions, back in the day when I used to affect a French accent.

@ Gerry: [quote]You`ve tried giving it away and no one wants it. What makes you think you`ll do better charging?[/quote]
Actually, I`m offering *to pay*. You think I need to offer more than a walnut? Is it my breath? ~Squrlz breathes into his clenched paw and sniffs~
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Male 2,841
He dead.
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Male 39,614

All the other squirrels are kissing.



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Male 39,614

@ Squrlz - you`ve tried giving it away and no one wants it.
What makes you think you`ll do better charging?
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Male 40,382
@Squrlz4Sale: I put a video in the submissions JUST for you!

Squirrely Romance! (G-Rated)
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Male 257
i`d want a whole lot more more a whole walnut.
don`t price yourself out the market big fella.
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Male 15,187
Does Gerry count?
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Male 6,070
MrPeabody,
Impressive work, man!
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Male 6,070
Wendypants,
In case I misunderstood which pic you couldn`t see, here`s the pic posted by Squrlz:

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Male 1,920
Maybe you need to find one and get her hooked on IAB. Do it slowly though you don`t want to scare her away.

This might help:
SEX AND THE SINGLE SQUIRREL

Also have you tried eHarmony, or maybe this site?
Squirrel Single Girls and Single Women in Idaho
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Male 6,070
Wendypants,
Here`s the link.
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Female 2,415
:( Can`t see the picture.
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Male 6,070
Found one! (Just how desperate are you?)

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Male 10,855
That`s not the squirrel I see in S4S`s avatar!
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Male 2,419
2 years? squrlz u must have some big nuts

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Female 8,001
I`m sorry sweetie, I will do tummy rubs, ear scritches and paw smooths- but after that there is a, erm, well, a bit of a, well, SPECIES barrier??
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Male 6,227
Link: Squrlz Is Getting Desperate [Pic] [Rate Link] - Dear Diary: 2 years and 1 month after joining, still no female squirrels on I-A-B.
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