Are You Smart Enough To Get These Nerdy Jokes?

Submitted by: ElectricEye 4 years ago in Science

Intellectual jokes for the nerd inside us all.
There are 39 comments:
Female 2,415
Ha, got about 2/3 rds of them... good jokes!
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Male 2,675
I know I`m a nerd but I figured I`d miss most of `em ... nope ... I only "didn`t get" one ... the cat/roof one but I`m sure it`s a physics measurement joke.
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Male 5,094
I love nerd humor.
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Male 11,739
I got them, but I`m not sure I want them.
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Male 13,630
Got about 40 percent of em
Im partial nerd
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Male 40,375
VV Dammit! I mean @angrynerd :-/

Too much effort to fix... (all those links, eh?)
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Male 40,375
Here @nerdrage: Same Joke but slightly different.
Same Again But different.

A Collection Of Bad Bar Jokes At least they`re G-Rated :-)

A Latin scholar walks into a bar and says, "I`ll have a martinus."
The bartender asks him. "Don`t you mean martini?"
The man tells the bartender, "Listen, if I wanted two or more drinks I would have asked for them."

I guess "Martinus" is the singular form.
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Male 40,375
@angrynerd: It`s a "Latin Thing". I don`t know Latin, but my parents did.
Martini should be a plural, it would be Martinum OR Martinus if it were properly singular.

However, since it`s a name, those rules don`t really apply, hence the "joke".
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Male 36
Can`t tell if you guys are joking or not. Mu is the coefficient of friction. Still didn`t get the roman one though
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Male 10,855
What`s the difference between Java and JavaScript? You can always count on the former to take out the trash.
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Male 2,516
man... these were bad jokes
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Male 10,855
Another programming language joke:

How did the software engineer die in the shower? He followed the directions on the shampoo bottle:
1)Rinse
2)Lather
3)Repeat
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Male 10,855
Logicians wife and the baby:
The answer they were looking for could`ve been found with enums and a switch statement.

Two hard things:
Arrays beginning the `zeroth` element is a common feature with programming languages.

Band with no Gigs:
1024M = 1G

Dozen eggs:
Didn`t specify if she wanted eggs or bread.
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Male 8,438
[email protected]

Generally speaking, Cat`s go `Meow`. A Kitten`s `Meow` sounds more like `Mew`.

The joke mentioned kittens, not cats.
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Male 181
@5cats
One to add to your list: miyav!
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Male 40,375


Genius!
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Male 40,375
@paperduck: Cats all over the world make different sounds.
NOT really! But we humans have different words for the same sounds, eh?
When a Japanese person says "nyaa" it sounds a LOT like an English person saying "meow"...

Having a "lower MU" would mean you are more slippery and would slide off the roof faster...

Other words for "meow":
Miau
Niau
Niaou
Miaou
Mja
Moe-Moe
Mao
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Male 1,745
McGrendal isn`t it meow? And what`s a lower mew/meow have to do with cats sliding? The double entendre wasn`t strong with that one
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Male 15,832
Gerry, common H2O2 is 3%. Pure H2O2 can be used as an oxidizer for rocket fuel. If you drank it, you would instantly turn into a mountain of pink foam.
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Male 40,375
I didn`t get "array hard things" or the "Mu = Mew"
I did get the "Roman" one! It was a Wayne And Shuster comedy skit! One of the funniest ones they ever did. Nearly killed my parents! They laughed so hard!!
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Male 15,832
God help me, I got them all.
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Male 3,060
Didn`t get all of them. The one`s I got were groaners. I did like the helium joke.
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Male 8,438
@paperduck

Mu = Mew...kitten goes `mew`.
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Male 12,138
Sadly, yes.
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Male 15,187
I get them, but they`re just not funny, nor are they proof of intelligence. A British accent* is the only true proof of intelligence.

*Not Geordie
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Female 1,467
No where did it say they were funny/good puns, just that they were nerdy.
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Male 8,438
@paperduck

Mu = Mew...kitten goes `mew`.
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Male 1,745
What`s the cats on the roof one? The one with the lowest mu (coefficient of friction) slides off first, I get that, but what was the pun?
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Male 1,745
Mcthistle he said there were only 2 errors, and the array is initialized with 2 elements, element 0 and 1 (by array convention). Calling element 2 and listing a 3rd error it causes an "off by one errors".
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Male 4,891

God dammit...I`m fuc#in smart!
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Male 5,624
"The only one I don`t get is the first programmer joke."
Which one: (Girl | Boy) == Boy == (0|1) == 1
or
"array hard_things" only has 2 valid positions, index 0 and index 1; Index 2 will cause a protection fault. If you think that`s wrong, you probably code in VB only and need to have your hand smashed in a drawer...
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Male 333
@MeGrendel

Aah thanks buddy, I should have got the 0 Kelvin as Absolute Zero but because the video said "oh kay" I missed it and never heard of Mu so thanks for the explanation.
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Male 8,438
@McThstlpnts

He stated there were two (2) difficult things...the proceeds to list TO TWO, but as programmers start with ZERO, ended up with THREE.

(I think that`s it. I`m more of a chemical nerd than a programming one)
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Male 8,438
@Gerry1of1

Depends on the strength. Household, not so much, but industrial H2O2is usually around 35%. The LD50 (lethal dose where 50% of people die)for a normal-sized human is ~16 oz. So it would hurt you reall bad.
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Female 1,539
The only one I don`t get is the first programmer joke. Other than that I`m Au :-D
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Male 8,438
@OhNoFrodo


`OK` is actual `0K` or Zero Kelvin. So he his now at Zero Kelvin

Mew = Mu, wich is the greek letter that stands for the coefficient of friction. So, a lower Mu equals lower friction.
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Male 39,613

H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. I don`t think one glass would kill you...would it?

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Male 333
Just a couple of them I didn`t get so would appreciate some help;

1. The man frozen to absolute zero is OK now

2. The cat with the lowest Mew (measurement of some sort?)

Thanks

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Male 2,729
Link: Are You Smart Enough To Get These Nerdy Jokes? [Rate Link] - Intellectual jokes for the nerd inside us all.
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