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Category: Funny
Date: 04/17/13 08:38 AM

22 Responses to A Tale Of Two Cows [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of Geogypsy
    Geogypsy Female 18-29
    2530 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 8:38 am
    Link: A Tale Of Two Cows - Cows; the ideal prop for stereotyping nearly everyone.
  2. Profile photo of HumanAction
    HumanAction Male 18-29
    2357 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 8:51 am
    That was awesome. Great post!
  3. Profile photo of whirlygirl
    whirlygirl Female 30-39
    230 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 9:09 am
    That`s it - I`m moving to Australia!
  4. Profile photo of piperfawn
    piperfawn Male 30-39
    4878 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 9:27 am
    Italians win!
  5. Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5628 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 9:49 am
    I have a cow:

  6. Profile photo of ZackDark
    ZackDark Male 18-29
    299 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 10:41 am
    @MeGrendel: that`s a terrible meat cut...
  7. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    30867 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 10:51 am
    Venture Capitalism: You have 2 cows, you make a deal with the owner of a bull that if it "services" your cows, he`ll get 1 calf.
    If both cows have calves? Great! Now you have 3 cows!
    If only one has a calf? Oh well, you still have 2 cows.
    If neither one has a calf? The guy with the bull will never deal with you again.

    Note: Repeat this successfully several times and you`ll have 3, 5, 9, 17 &etc cows which makes it Traditional Capitalism except you don`t own a bull...
    Note #2: This is not necessarily a bad thing: Bulls are dangerous! And a pain in the butt to have around... plus using VC you can switch bulls easily and avoid inbreeding...
  8. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    30867 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 10:53 am
    @ZackDark: As an individual steak? Perhaps.
    As a serving from a roast? It`s outstanding!

    Looks like a roast cut to me... now I`m hungry...
  9. Profile photo of randomxnp
    randomxnp Male 30-39
    1293 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 10:57 am
    Errrmmm ... someone doesn`t know what socialism is. That is charity. Socialism would be

    "You have 2 cows; the government lets you milk them, then takes most of the milk and gives it to people who have no cows but make art no-one wants, people who make and enforce regulations that stop you from owning more cows, people who slaughtered and ate their own cows and to people who couldn`t be bothered to feed their own cows so they died.

    Then the government realises it has borrowed too much money, and takes the cows off you. Government ministers are surprised that they get no milk from you next year, and claim that you are selfish. They borrow even more money"
  10. Profile photo of Steelgrid
    Steelgrid Male 30-39
    2700 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 10:58 am
    "@MeGrendel: that`s a terrible meat cut..."

    This is unfortunately what some people are passing as "prime rib". Its a goddamn potroast. This meat looks more boiled than anything else.
  11. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    30867 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 11:04 am
    I`m not complaining, it`s a funny enough post! But lets try to get things correct, eh?

    Socialism: You have 2 cows, your neighbor has none.
    He demands half your cows, the government gives him one.
    Now he demands half your milk too!
    The government arrests you for refusing to share your milk, takes your cow away and you die in prison.

    Communism: You have two cows, you sell the milk.
    The government comes and demands half the money, "for the less fortunate". They have guns, you do not.
    Then the government takes ALL the milk, "for the less fortunate" but gives you enough to survive on.
    Then the government takes away one of your cows "for the less fortunate" but still expects TWO cows worth of milk production.
    You fail to meet the quota: they throw you in prison where you die.
  12. Profile photo of Adcro
    Adcro Male 18-29
    369 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 12:01 pm
    Why are British people always shown in a bowler hat or top hat and a monocle... did America stop hearing about us beyond 1910?
  13. Profile photo of robthelurker
    robthelurker Male 18-29
    2589 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 12:15 pm
    im sure this would be funny if i understood anything about politics.
  14. Profile photo of Langer
    Langer Male 18-29
    394 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 12:59 pm
    A lot of those guys are going to be disappointed if they think that the cow is going to just start lactating by itself
  15. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15845 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 1:14 pm
    I think 5Cats nailed it.
  16. Profile photo of pfkdxius
    pfkdxius Male 18-29
    314 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 1:17 pm
    No, 5cats did not nail it.
  17. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    35676 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    The Cows are the cheerleaders for the Chicago Bulls.

  18. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    30867 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 1:34 pm
    @OldOllie: Thank you!

    @pfkdxius: If you found a flaw or error? Please point it out! Otherwise don`t rub my fur the wrong way...

    @Gerry1: Almost (but not quite!) certain that`s shopped...

    @Geogypsy: To repeat: I like the post! That it allows "further discussion" is a bonus!
  19. Profile photo of Burton_Ian
    Burton_Ian Male 18-29
    817 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 5:34 pm
    5cats: I would say that there is a flaw in your simile -- you were writing a narrative rather than in what way socialism and communism are like a farmer with two cows. Quite frankly, I`m not really sure why communism was even included in this list, as it is a political, and not economic,form of policy, i.e. a gov`t can be politically communist but economic capitalistic, socialistic, or somewhere between.
    I will give you credit -- because of this reason, your communism example is in no way related to any of the information pertinent to the infograph.
  20. Profile photo of handimanner
    handimanner Male 60-69
    2095 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 8:17 pm
    Milked that joke for all it was worth. Loved it.
  21. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    30867 posts
    April 17, 2013 at 9:53 pm
    @Burton_Ian: I remember you... and you have my (begrudged) respect!

    But here I beg to differ:
    The given examples of "Venture Capitalism" and both Greek and Iraqi Corporations are also "narratives". So I think my examples "fit the bill" as it were...

    Besides, mine are both funny and accurate! Both of them! There is a (subtle) difference between socialism and communism... but in the "real world" they`re often interchangeable... or else they throw you into prison and you die...
    (See how I tied that all together? Nice eh?)
  22. Profile photo of SavageChef
    SavageChef Female 50-59
    2690 posts
    April 25, 2013 at 8:02 am
    OMG. People are still discussing this like it`s some new dis? Get over it. It was an old joke in the 1970s. Seriously.

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