Top 5 Ways New Pope Can Recruit New People [Pic+]

Submitted by: fancylad 3 years ago

Now that a new pope--Pope Francis--has been named, his first job is to breathe life into the stuffy old Catholic Church.
There are 27 comments:
Male 4
Its always there with the pope
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Female 2,228
I think I speak for the community when I say, to yet another reposting of this same article:

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Male 833
@5cats its been posted at least 4 times a week since the new pope was announced
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Male 833
honestly if this gets posted to the first page 1 more time im just gonna stop coming here
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Male 36,543
@bliznik: I know! Two days in a row it`s been "bumped".

IAB moves in mysterious ways...
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Male 1,308
OK, seriously, why is this greenlit on the first page EVERY DAY?!
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Male 3,909
The problem with the Catholic faith, and every other faith, is that they are brainwashed to believe a story that is pure BS and blindly follow along accepting that story as truth.
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Male 4,298
From the moment I saw him I thought the last Pope was pure evil. That feeling never went away. From this new Pope I get a wonderful vibe. He seams like an all around good guy. I think he will come around on the gay issue. Tides are changing fast there.
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Male 1,059
I love the people who seriously think #5 is ever, ever going to be even a remote possibility. I mean, really, why does the Pope have to be so darn Catholic? Can`t he just renounce Christ and worship Satan for a change? Get with the program, Pope!
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Male 579
If, after reading these posts, this is what people think of most Catholics then that is clearly the number one problem of the Catholic faith. Yes, there are problems with the faith no doubt, but there are problems with any organization, pretty much everytwhere. I assure you, if you ever really really looked at what many faithful Catholics do you would see quite a different picture.
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Male 36,543
@QueenZira:
1. I completely agree. Did you know they once bought a Caribbean island with a plan to "rehabilitate" pedo-priests there? Instead they covered up and put them in with more children. Sickening. At least on an isolated island they`d have stopped buggering children...

2. Their pals the Mafia wouldn`t be very happy...
3. Allow priests to marry, allow contraceptives, it`s a no-brainer!
4. Meh, they`re just words.
5. I think you`ve confused Catholicism with Islam. Really, not kidding. :-)
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Male 7,123
An-egg,

When you put it like that I see your point. A very powerful corporation that pretty much had a lock on the creative arts, with an option on crushing anyone who became inconvenient. But Mozart as celebrating catholicism? I think you`ll find it`s a bit more complcated than that.
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Male 884
Yeah, they should totally get Banksy to redo the Sistine chapel.

And burn all their Mozart, Handel, Bach, Saint-Saens, and thousands of others composers finest works which were either composed for the Catholic Church, or paid for by it. Better still, as the church "owns" most of them, rather than putting them on display and letting people perform and record them freely, they should collect them, lock them in their vaults and charge people to see or hear them.

You know, to keep up with the lowest common denominator.
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Male 37,910

You guys don`t understand. The Holy See is the Lord`s intercessor and through his divine interpretation is your only path to heaven. Jesus {Joshua} appointed Peter to be in charge of his church and since then has been an unbroken line of mostly-men telling you how to save your worthless souls. It`s the original Christian faith, so if anyone has it right, it`s these guys.

That`s why I think Christianity is all just make-believe.
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Female 2,228
1. Quit harboring child predators and protectors of same in gilded Vatican City "monasteries" and throw them all in jail.

2. Quit money laundering for shady, dubious folks worldwide.

3. Everything at all having to do with sexuality, huge quagmire there, and it would be nice to have no more AIDS deaths in the developing world.

4. Stop referring to pope with words like, "Reign," "Palace" and "Throne."

5. Understand that the 12th century is not a desirable destination for most of the world.
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Male 36,543



Just a small catgirl spam because Catholics don`t represent all Christians...

How to improve the Catholic Church:
#1 Dump every single thing you believe in
#2 Stop being Christians entirely
#3 Follow the latest trends until they lose popularity
#4 Then dump that, and try something else!

In other words: Become just like liberals! :-P
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Male 7,123
There`s not much I like about the church, but I do like a bit of chanting and a swanky cathederal.

The clothes, yes. This new guy (from a purely sartorial viewpoint) seems to be less of an over-dressed little ponce than the last guy and might tone it down. But more importantly the honorifics. Your Holiness, Your Grace, etc. Why the need for so much abject deference?

Female priests, gay marriage, condoms? Well, they might loosen up on the condom thing because that is just not working for them but controlling sexuality has long been a key part of patriarchal religious control. They won`t give that up.

I`ve never had a communion wafer, but surely there`s no reason they can`t be tasty. It would still be body of christ if it contained sour cream and chive.

`1.2 BILLION followers` Estimated number of people who were baptised catholic and are still alive. Not communicants or active followers. There are a lot of catholics, but a lot fewer than is claimed.
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Male 2,552
tatripp, the music at our church (in which my wife and I are a part of the choir) does mostly older music. Not all Latin or anything, but none of the new pop/rock-sounding stuff.

http://stpatrickbr.org/
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Male 3,909
"How about allowing Women to become Priestess`ssss?"

But I permit not a woman to teach, nor to have authority over the man, but to be in silence.

- Timothy 2:12
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Male 37,910

I assume that stupidity was written for amusement, not as a serious comment.

If they want to up membership, new drapes and a wardrobe change aren`t going to cut it. As for hymns, there have been modern music masses since the early `70s.

How about allowing Women to become Priestess`ssss?
Also, allow priests to marry.
Lighten up on the "no condoms" rule.

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Male 1,196
Oh I get it. The Church should give up on everything it has supported because it isn`t popular now.
The author of this hasn`t been to mass in ages because all the music is updated unfortunately. It sounds terrible and it is often inappropriate. Chants would be better than the current music.
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Male 2,711
That was pretty funny, almost as funny as some IABers taking it seriously.
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Female 2,509
You`re looking at the wafer thing all wrong

this:


Tastes like THIS:

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Female 2,509
Redecorate.....you, sir, have no taste.

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Male 2,552
Article written by a non-Christian, I`d assume?

Yes, yes, yes, Catholicism, the religion that has been around for over 2000 years and has an estimated 1.2 BILLION followers should update its image and do a complete overhaul. Right. Not going to happen.
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Male 3,909
5. Reconsider (Same Sex) Marriage

Here`s a quote from Pope Francis.

"Let`s not be naive; this isn`t a simple political fight, it`s an attempt to destroy God`s plan."
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Male 19,882
Link: Top 5 Ways New Pope Can Recruit New People [Pic+] [Rate Link] - Now that a new pope--Pope Francis--has been named, his first job is to breathe life into the stuffy old Catholic Church.
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