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Category: Weird
Date: 03/29/13 06:20 PM

27 Responses to The Willy Wonka Conspiracy Theory [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of peppyprep
    peppyprep Female 13-17
    476 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 6:22 pm
    Link: The Willy Wonka Conspiracy Theory - Seriously man, WTF? My whole life is a lie!
  2. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31761 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 6:44 pm
    As a little 5cats I was completely creeped out by this movie. They stand there and laugh while children are being slowly killed? IIEEEE!!

    I was a sensitive boy...
  3. Profile photo of uatme
    uatme Male 18-29
    1068 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 6:49 pm
    He definitely planned for the kids to disappear but did they die?
  4. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12151 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 6:55 pm
  5. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17515 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 7:07 pm
    The kids didn`t die and he tells Charlie that are alive and wiser for the experience they`d been through.
  6. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36176 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    If it`s true, I`m okay with it.
  7. Profile photo of Snufkin
    Snufkin Male 18-29
    125 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 7:13 pm
    Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, what`ll happen to the other kids? Augustus, Veruca?

    Willy Wonka: My dear boy, I promise you they`ll be quite all right. When they leave here, they`ll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they`ll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don`t worry about them.
  8. Profile photo of darkmagic14n
    darkmagic14n Male 18-29
    1625 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 7:19 pm
    well, seeing as A) they didn`t die, and B) that was the first time ANYONE was allowed into the factory, I would have to say the chance that he is making candy out of kids would be .0000001%
  9. Profile photo of sweetrebelnc
    sweetrebelnc Female 18-29
    847 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 7:20 pm
    ....if you read the book, you would have known that they DID NOT die, AND that was the plan all along.
  10. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12151 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 7:29 pm
    The kids didn`t die and he tells Charlie that are alive and wiser for the experience they`d been through.
    It`s true, they didn`t die. But in the original book by that great author Roald Dahl (which I just finished reading to my 6-year old daughter recently, she loved it), you learn what really happened to the kids after they left the factory.

    Veruca Salt and her parents left covered in rubbish (no big deal). Augustus Gloop ended up pressed so skinny so you almost see through him. Mike TV ended up stretched so much he was 10 foot tall and like a string of spaghetti. And Violet Beauregarde ended up being deflated from being a blueberry, but she still stayed permanently purple .

    That`s what I love about Roald Dahl`s books. Unpleasant things happen to unpleasant people. And they stay unpleasant, even though they`re children`s books. My favourite children`s author of all time.
  11. Profile photo of Magentab0b
    Magentab0b Female 30-39
    1467 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 8:23 pm
    It`s a trap! I was scared because of that freaky tunnel with the earthworms.
  12. Profile photo of Krowley
    Krowley Male 30-39
    695 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 9:11 pm
    ... sigh.

    book snobs.
  13. Profile photo of Ani187
    Ani187 Female 30-39
    4448 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 9:53 pm
    davymid, that was the great thing about Dahl. He taught you there were consequences to your actions.
  14. Profile photo of eduardoleon
    eduardoleon Male 18-29
    500 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 11:20 pm
    yep
  15. Profile photo of onoffonoffon
    onoffonoffon Male 30-39
    2308 posts
    March 29, 2013 at 11:35 pm
    They should remake the movie and instead of Mike TV it could be Mike Texting.
  16. Profile photo of the_phantom
    the_phantom Male 18-29
    510 posts
    March 30, 2013 at 12:14 am
    look at the wiki for the book, theres a chapter that got removed where a 6th child and parent were invited specifically to be killed and baked into the candy. s.hits crazy. i feel like roal dahl secretly hated children except for his own.
  17. Profile photo of Fwoggie2
    Fwoggie2 Male 30-39
    1803 posts
    March 30, 2013 at 1:34 am
    I grew up in Roald Dahl`s area; Great Missenden (where Danny the champion of the world is mainly set) is about 7 miles from my house. If anyone`s ever in London and fancies a day trip it`s in Great Missenden. See http://www.roalddahlmuseum.org (There`s also a gallery in nearby Aylesbury). It`s primarily aimed at kids from 6-12, so davymid if you`re ever in the area it might be just the ticket for your daughter.
  18. Profile photo of Fwoggie2
    Fwoggie2 Male 30-39
    1803 posts
    March 30, 2013 at 1:36 am
    I forgot - there`s a 2-4-1 deal for it with chiltern railways - see their website in advance davymid.
  19. Profile photo of blackcatseye
    blackcatseye Female 30-39
    685 posts
    March 30, 2013 at 4:15 am
    Um I`m pretty sure that all the kids come back at the end, just like in the book. If you actually WATCH THE FKIN FILM maybe you won`t look like such a complete wingnut, eh?
  20. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17515 posts
    March 30, 2013 at 5:58 am
    blackcatseye: Problem is there have been 2 movies and neither are 100% accurate to the book.

    Personally I prefer the first movie because of the wonderful acting of Gene Wilder.
  21. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12151 posts
    March 30, 2013 at 6:20 am
    I grew up in Roald Dahl`s area; Great Missenden (where Danny the champion of the world is mainly set) is about 7 miles from my house.
    Goddammit, really? That`s my personal favourite one of his books! If I`m ever in the area I`ll be sure to look it up.

    And agree with Crakrjak, the original with Gene Wilder was a brilliant piece of casting. That wankstain of a travesty of a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movie missed the point entirely.
  22. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36176 posts
    March 30, 2013 at 6:49 am

    Charlie Bucket - It`s pronounced Bouquet!

  23. Profile photo of TheGuySmiley
    TheGuySmiley Male 18-29
    1243 posts
    March 30, 2013 at 12:31 pm

  24. Profile photo of DuckBoy87
    DuckBoy87 Male 18-29
    3144 posts
    March 30, 2013 at 4:25 pm
    Ha! @Gerry
    My mother always watched Keeping Up Appearances and Are You Being Served?.
  25. Profile photo of robthelurker
    robthelurker Male 18-29
    2656 posts
    March 30, 2013 at 6:22 pm
    no one should make an accurate version roald dahls books. that dude is crazy. the kid stayed a f*cking mouse at the end of witches. a film studio cant put out a kids movie like that. all the kids would be crying at the end. disney learned from its mistakes, they even (spoiler) brought the dog back to life at the end of frankenweenie. how you going to explain to your kid that you cant bring his dog back but the kid in the f*cking movie can. the answer its a f*cking movie doesnt register with little kids. yeah gene wilder kicks ass.
  26. Profile photo of Ninja-Nerd
    Ninja-Nerd Male 18-29
    139 posts
    March 31, 2013 at 2:05 am
    *chute

    Your argument is now void.
  27. Profile photo of xbx214
    xbx214 Male 18-29
    956 posts
    April 1, 2013 at 10:39 pm
    I always did wonder why they would get into situations that seems incredibly bleak for a childishly made factory. I do believe that Wonka somehow uses children. He will eventually tell charlie about it and then he will have no choice to run it.

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