The Willy Wonka Conspiracy Theory [Pic]

Submitted by: peppyprep 4 years ago in Weird

Seriously man, WTF? My whole life is a lie!
There are 26 comments:
Male 958
I always did wonder why they would get into situations that seems incredibly bleak for a childishly made factory. I do believe that Wonka somehow uses children. He will eventually tell charlie about it and then he will have no choice to run it.
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Male 139
*chute

Your argument is now void.
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Male 3,674
no one should make an accurate version roald dahls books. that dude is crazy. the kid stayed a f*cking mouse at the end of witches. a film studio cant put out a kids movie like that. all the kids would be crying at the end. disney learned from its mistakes, they even (spoiler) brought the dog back to life at the end of frankenweenie. how you going to explain to your kid that you cant bring his dog back but the kid in the f*cking movie can. the answer its a f*cking movie doesnt register with little kids. yeah gene wilder kicks ass.
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Male 3,646
Ha! @Gerry
My mother always watched Keeping Up Appearances and Are You Being Served?.
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Male 1,243

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Male 39,913

Charlie Bucket - It`s pronounced Bouquet!

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Male 12,138
[quote]I grew up in Roald Dahl`s area; Great Missenden (where Danny the champion of the world is mainly set) is about 7 miles from my house. [/quote]
Goddammit, really? That`s my personal favourite one of his books! If I`m ever in the area I`ll be sure to look it up.

And agree with Crakrjak, the original with Gene Wilder was a brilliant piece of casting. That wankstain of a travesty of a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movie missed the point entirely.
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Male 17,511
blackcatseye: Problem is there have been 2 movies and neither are 100% accurate to the book.

Personally I prefer the first movie because of the wonderful acting of Gene Wilder.
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Female 685
Um I`m pretty sure that all the kids come back at the end, just like in the book. If you actually WATCH THE FKIN FILM maybe you won`t look like such a complete wingnut, eh?
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Male 1,803
I forgot - there`s a 2-4-1 deal for it with chiltern railways - see their website in advance davymid.
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Male 1,803
I grew up in Roald Dahl`s area; Great Missenden (where Danny the champion of the world is mainly set) is about 7 miles from my house. If anyone`s ever in London and fancies a day trip it`s in Great Missenden. See http://www.roalddahlmuseum.org (There`s also a gallery in nearby Aylesbury). It`s primarily aimed at kids from 6-12, so davymid if you`re ever in the area it might be just the ticket for your daughter.
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Male 510
look at the wiki for the book, theres a chapter that got removed where a 6th child and parent were invited specifically to be killed and baked into the candy. s.hits crazy. i feel like roal dahl secretly hated children except for his own.
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Male 500
yep
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Female 4,447
davymid, that was the great thing about Dahl. He taught you there were consequences to your actions.
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Male 696
... sigh.

book snobs.
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Female 1,467
It`s a trap! I was scared because of that freaky tunnel with the earthworms.
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Male 12,138
[quote]The kids didn`t die and he tells Charlie that are alive and wiser for the experience they`d been through.[/quote]
It`s true, they didn`t die. But in the original book by that great author Roald Dahl (which I just finished reading to my 6-year old daughter recently, she loved it), you learn what really happened to the kids after they left the factory.

Veruca Salt and her parents left covered in rubbish (no big deal). Augustus Gloop ended up pressed so skinny so you almost see through him. Mike TV ended up stretched so much he was 10 foot tall and like a string of spaghetti. And Violet Beauregarde ended up being deflated from being a blueberry, but she still stayed permanently purple .

That`s what I love about Roald Dahl`s books. Unpleasant things happen to unpleasant people. And they stay unpleasant, even though they`re children`s books. My favourite children`s author of all time.
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Female 846
....if you read the book, you would have known that they DID NOT die, AND that was the plan all along.
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Male 1,625
well, seeing as A) they didn`t die, and B) that was the first time ANYONE was allowed into the factory, I would have to say the chance that he is making candy out of kids would be .0000001%
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Male 125
Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, what`ll happen to the other kids? Augustus, Veruca?

Willy Wonka: My dear boy, I promise you they`ll be quite all right. When they leave here, they`ll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they`ll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don`t worry about them.
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Male 39,913

If it`s true, I`m okay with it.
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Male 17,511
The kids didn`t die and he tells Charlie that are alive and wiser for the experience they`d been through.
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Male 12,138
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Male 1,084
He definitely planned for the kids to disappear but did they die?
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Male 40,751
As a little 5cats I was completely creeped out by this movie. They stand there and laugh while children are being slowly killed? IIEEEE!!

I was a sensitive boy...
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Female 476
Link: The Willy Wonka Conspiracy Theory [Pic] [Rate Link] - Seriously man, WTF? My whole life is a lie!
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