The Human Test - Are You Human?

Submitted by: kitteh9lives 4 years ago in Misc

If you answered yes to 5 or more questions, you are a human. (Maybe)
There are 37 comments:
Male 143
14 on the first, 15 on the second. I think I need some psychiatric help.
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Male 1,582
Seemed like an OCD test, followed by a depression/anxiety test.

Never the less, 5 and 10, and this made me laugh a few times.
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Male 11,740
I am apparently not human.
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Female 2,691
I lost my pencil.
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Male 1,625
I`m apparently not human (retitle: the self-entitled/self-absorbed human test)

plus, lots of these were OCD (pushing elevator button, cup near edge of table, noises while remembering, chewing to a song, etc)
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Male 2,592
Other people do some strange shxt.. wow. Eating boogers after childhood? I threw up alittle after I heard that one..
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Male 102
Hahaha, I love Zefrank.
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Female 4,359
I, am human! woot! cause I was startng to think I was a housecleaning robot...
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Female 1,478
This is hilarious, but also makes me think. I like the quick pace and deadpan delivery.
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Male 270
I only got 4 on both...
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Male 427
"When hanging out with an old friend and they are telling you a story you`ve heard multiple times it`s fun to see how they are going to tell the story."
It`s even funnier when they realise you were part of the story as well.
"and then you come along.. oh"
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Male 427
4 on the first, 12 on the second.
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Female 2,415
Huh, Vol 1 I only checked 4 items and Vol 2 I only checked one... I guess I`m not human!!
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Male 10,339
The second one was the depressing one. :( :( :(
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Female 7,867
Yes to virtually everything on both. I don`t drive, and I cannot send screenshots of my phone....
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Male 7,611
I answered "yes" to 6 total. What does that say about me?
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Male 5,874
This sounds like `True facts` man.
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Male 2,549
Hmm, I scored fourteen on both. I especially liked, "do you feel unnaturally good when a waitress calls you `honey` or `babe`." I`ve had conversations on the topic with people and from my marginal test field it turns out that the majority of those I spoke with don`t share this appreciation at all.
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Male 267
Guess im not human as i got 3.
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Male 194
I got 4 and 5. This does not seem to be an effective Turing test.

Or is this post actually being made by a chat-bot?

Nah, they aren`t good for much but spamming or carrying on very simple conversations. So there`s no reason to doubt my humanity unless I get into a flame war :-P
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Male 1,793
a robot could fake any of these and an alien would just lie... got to go the mother ship is coming and I will get docked if I`m late again...
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Male 303
@markust123
"I wonder how it ends this time"?
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Male 303
Not human. 4 on first 6 on second.
Boyah?
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Female 6,381
Ess berry true.
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Male 138
YES. I am not human.
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Male 37,893
The first one was pretty good. The second? Not as good.

Strangely enough, I`m human! Despite all my efforts to the contrary...
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Male 4,396
"When a good friend tells you a story and forgets that they already told it to you, do you secretly question the entire basis of your relationship?"

This was obviously written by someone who doesn`t have any long term friends. When hanging out with an old friend and they are telling you a story you`ve heard multiple times it`s fun to see how they are going to tell the story.
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Male 15,832
I scored exactly 0, so I guess I`m a f***ing robot.
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Male 633
Apparently, I suck at being a human.
Good to know.
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Female 2,027
im not alone!!!!
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Male 1,292
ze is drated. but awesome
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Male 2,436
More tests are needed...
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Male 415
I failed the second one, no surprise there.
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Male 124
I don`t like landing on "inconclusive" on an "are you human"-test. There was a single statement that I considered. I could not knowingly be friends with anyone that said yes to more than 12 of those.
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Male 13,624
Im not a human
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Male 213
I seem to have failed because I don`t have a mobile `phone.
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Female 8,044
Link: The Human Test - Are You Human? [Rate Link] - If you answered yes to 5 or more questions, you are a human. (Maybe)
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