Stop Being A Bunch Of Pussies, UK [Pic+]

Submitted by: fancylad 3 years ago

A UK school has banned *THIS* from its cafeteria because of the possibility of poked-out eyes. Forks or Knives? Nope.
There are 38 comments:
Female 2,027
ooh essex shut up oohh haha f()ck offfff
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Female 2,228
US lexicon, "Flapjack"- a flat circular breakfast item, cooked from batter often including eggs for eyes and bacon for a mouth. ;-)

Actually this reminds me of a recent Leno where one of his guests (can`t remember who) told everyone about a trip to Australia where he referred to "cotton candy" in the presence of said Australians and got complete silence in return. Only later did a camera man ask him what he was talking about and after the explanation (spun sugar) the Aussie replied, "Oh ya mean "Fairy Floss"? Such lovely chaos XD
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Male 7,364
"Critics have pointed out that a square flapjack has more sharp corners than a triangle shaped one."


So, obviously the only REAL solution is...

SPHERE!!

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Male 14,330
Told you the UK is on it`s way to only allowing its people sporks to eat with and all plebs must remain in their saftey bubbles at all times!
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Male 2,375
Let it sit for a few weeks and then I`ll give it a coat of black spray paint. Folks will run away at the sight of my assault flapjack. It`ll be like 1066 all over again.
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Male 37,914

They should ban Assault Flapjacks!
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Male 5,874
I can see a large cultural gap between the UK and the US here.
This story comes from Essex, land of the UK`s toughest breed of men. Flapjacks are kept for up to 6 weeks in a school-desk, to mature and harden-up. They are then used as weapons, (known to martial artists as `Shuriken`), and are part of the arsenal of the well-trained Essex school-child. The use of more than three sides to the flapjack reduces the penetrating power of the corner spikes. `Flapjack` comes from the old Saxon `flipjack`, translatable as `up yours sailor`, accompanied by the casting of stale cake-shop produce at over-amorous sailors. (Yeah, you`re right this is bullshirt).
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Male 1,418
5Cats, I`m just wondering how anyone could accidentally swallow/choke on the big plastic container inside the eggs.
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Male 13,624
I watched this on the BBC and just gave up on life itself
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Female 7,838
Bloody hellfire- I even gave you the recipe...
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Male 15,832
Liberals ruin everything they touch.
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Male 1,793
laugh all you want... half my family was wiped out by a stack a little taller than the picture. ok not wiped out but hurt really bad, ok not injured but we were sore for weeks...
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Female 88
"Critics have pointed out that a square flapjack has more sharp corners than a triangle shaped one."

I just...what...why are there even critics for this? Why is this even a thing?
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Male 37,914

@ ForSquirel - I thought the same thing and looked it up. Apparently what they call a flapjack we call a granola bar. Which if you think about it is a pretty hard little brick. Could hurt if you got hit in the eye.

I wish they`d learn to speak American.
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Male 2,790
so a pupil`s pupil huh?

I didn`t read it because that came immediately came to mind
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Male 1,737
@5cats, I had to go google it cause I thought it was a pancake, turns out it`s a rolled oats bar.
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Male 36,558
In Canada "flapjack" is a pancake. I trust some smart IABer will clue me in on what a "British Flapjack" is, and why it`s so DANGEROUS!

@madduck: To the rescue! Thanks!

@DromEd: It`s an egg shaped chocolate with a plastic capsule inside. Inside that is a toy of some sort! You usually have to put it together, which is most of the fun!

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Male 2,436
Well, at least I learned the difference between a North American flapjack and a British flapjack. I never knew...
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Male 560
It`s amazing our government has had to make a Health and Safety department job with the specific role to reply to media and say "we think it`s fine this is not a health and safety issue, they`re doing it themselves..." Usually to save money on something or do less work
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Male 1,678
Makes sense, everyone knows rectangles are less aerodynamic.
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Male 7,364
turdburglar-"Yes they are allowed to dance with each other when they get there."

Sooo they don`t want anyone`s feelings to get hurt if they`re not asked to the dance, but have no problem with them being devastated by being at a dance and no one dancing with them.

Dude, that`s f`d up.

We`re just `that` much closer:
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Male 1,380
Those things are death traps!
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Male 3,949
Wow, the UK used to teach kids the "play up and play the game" ethos and generate people like Adrian Carton de Wiart. Now a triangle shaped flapjack is a major security risk. Not judging anything but the irony is palpable.
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Male 1,418
I always though flapjacks were just another name for pancakes - which are normally round and rarely cause injury - So I was a little confused.
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Male 2,711
@JacobTrue13
Kinder eggs are now allowed (albeit in modified form). Shame on us for not wanting our kids to choke on small toys. Besides, there are some montherdraters in the UK that want them banned there as well.
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Male 4,893

DormEd - Yes they are allowed to dance with each other when they get there. Still pretty dumb IMO.
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Female 857
Such a half baked idea.
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Male 2,631
How can you have your triangle shaped flapjacks if you don`t eat your meat?- Just doesn`t have the same ring to it.
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Female 7,838
Okay- a badly baked flapjack can cause SERIOUS injury... but they just substituted three sharp corners for four. Teach the kitchen staff to go easy on the golden syrup and heavy on the marge...
A flapjack is a goodly dollop of marge ( butter for the rich)a big spoon of syrup, stir in porridge oats until gloopy- put into baking tray and bake on medium heat until golden brown...
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Male 2,375
@turdy...so the kids just go to the dance by themselves? And when they get there are they allowed to dance? I mean really...wtf?
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Male 2,375
This is just another symptom of a great disease infecting society and it certainly ain`t limited to one side of the pond.

What the heck is a kinder egg btw?
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Male 2,357
My Invasion of the UK Shopping List:

Steel Cut Oats
Butter
Brown Sugar
All-Purpose Flour

Now I can add these to the rest of my list:

Pint Glasses
Kitchen Knives
Kites
Bumper Cars
Tennis (in the rain)
Monkey Bars
Football (unless ball is made of sponge)
Sack Racing

Ha - probably just that damn slippery slope fallacy though! =)
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Male 260
To be fair, it`s one school in the UK. If one school in the USA did this (say, in Iowa), Americans wouldn`t say `Stop Being A Bunch Of Pussies, USA`. They`d say `Stop Being A Bunch Of Pussies, Iowa`.

So yeah. Pedantic, I know, but y`all motherdraters don`t even allow Kinder Eggs, so get yourselves in order before you judge us.

Trust.
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Male 2,390
wow, just when I though the world couldn`t get any dumberererer.

also, is that thing in the picture a flapjack? I think of pancakes, that doesn`t look like a pancake. Could someone educate me?
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Male 4,893

As much as I LOVE the title of this post, I think the US schools are just as stupid.

My nieces school is having a dance. I asked her if anybody has asked her to go. She told me that the school has banned the kids from asking each other to the dance because somebody`s feelings may get hurt if they aren`t asked.
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Male 37,914

In the US, a flapjack is a soft pancake. At first I didn`t get it. Who cuts a round pancake into a triangle? But then I googled them. Y`all need to learn to speak American.
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Male 1,497
The corner!
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Male 19,888
Link: Stop Being A Bunch Of Pussies, UK [Pic+] [Rate Link] - A UK school has banned *THIS* from its cafeteria because of the possibility of poked-out eyes. Forks or Knives? Nope.
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