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104 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 9104
Rating: 2.5
Category: Funny
Date: 03/25/13 08:37 AM

104 Responses to Sentences Likely Never To Be Spoken [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 8:37 am
    Link: Sentences Likely Never To Be Spoken - Add whatever comes to mind. I`ll start: The Oscar for best actor goes to Steven Segal.
  2. Profile photo of Plangkye
    Plangkye Female 18-29
    258 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 8:41 am
    Hand me that grand piano.
  3. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 8:43 am

    Said by your blind date,
    "Gee! Your knowledge of Star Trek trivia is so erotic!"
  4. Profile photo of markust123
    markust123 Male 40-49
    3889 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 8:48 am
    "My mistake, I was wrong." CrakrJak
  5. Profile photo of SminkyPinky
    SminkyPinky Female 30-39
    233 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 8:51 am
    "The winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature: Katie Price"
  6. Profile photo of Kain1
    Kain1 Male 18-29
    1473 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 8:52 am
    So, mr. Smith. You want me to remove your testicles, and sow them onto your forehead?
  7. Profile photo of Kain1
    Kain1 Male 18-29
    1473 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 8:54 am
    Markust123 wins this round...
  8. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 8:58 am

    "Gee FancyLad - That was a very amusing post."
  9. Profile photo of vonKaiser
    vonKaiser Male 18-29
    108 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 9:02 am
    And the Grammy goes to Nickelback
  10. Profile photo of Evil_Eye
    Evil_Eye Male 18-29
    1442 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 9:04 am
    " Everyone is acting very calm and orderly on this religious/political post. "

    " Every post is a 4 star on the front page! "

    " This is a repost, but I will let is slide because it was posted 7 years ago and most people would not know of it. "

    " You are entitled to your own option and I am not going to try to argue you into seeing it my way. "

    " Your* "
  11. Profile photo of TruTenrMan
    TruTenrMan Male 30-39
    2553 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 9:05 am
    "I could really go for a plate of liver with a side of Brussels sprouts right now." ~Me
  12. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 9:06 am
    OK, game`s over. Markust already won.
  13. Profile photo of dm2754
    dm2754 Male 40-49
    3336 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 9:08 am
    "let me help you with your English and welcome to I-M-B where we have respect for everyones opinions."
  14. Profile photo of MightyPeanut
    MightyPeanut Male 30-39
    411 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 9:11 am
    "I could go for some p***y right now." - Gerry
  15. Profile photo of monsterzero
    monsterzero Male 40-49
    356 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 9:31 am
    The motion picture academy award for best special effects in the history of film is...
    "Plan 9 from outer space!"
  16. Profile photo of sbr
    sbr Male 30-39
    34 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 9:34 am
    One day i would really like to give it to your sister.
  17. Profile photo of tedgp
    tedgp Male 30-39
    3287 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:01 am
    Fancylad is really turning this site into a huge success....
  18. Profile photo of peakingo
    peakingo Male 30-39
    761 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:07 am
    "Obama is the greatest President we`ve ever had."-OldOllie
  19. Profile photo of Big61AL
    Big61AL Male 40-49
    59 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:11 am
    There are not enough videos of cats on the internet.
  20. Profile photo of Big61AL
    Big61AL Male 40-49
    59 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:15 am
    Large stock piles of WMD manufacturing equipment were finally found in a warehouse one mile from the former green zone in Iraq.
  21. Profile photo of whipplefunk
    whipplefunk Male 30-39
    1045 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:29 am
    "Check this out, I`m gonna go throw this cup of Coke at Ron Artest"
  22. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11741 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:31 am
    Fancy is a genius. All of his posts are brilliant. (Yeah it`s two sentences, sue me.)
  23. Profile photo of zeebeedee
    zeebeedee Male 50-59
    614 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:31 am
    I like receiving spam.
  24. Profile photo of QueenZira
    QueenZira Female 18-29
    2228 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:36 am
    SminkyPinky, I`ll go you one better.

    "Stephanie Meyer interred next to Shakespeare, other literary greats, at Westminster Abbey."
  25. Profile photo of panth753
    panth753 Female 18-29
    9237 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:44 am
    "I`m full." Rush Limbaugh
  26. Profile photo of Swaywithme
    Swaywithme Female 18-29
    3696 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:52 am
    "Do you accept this man, Mr Fancylad, to be your lawfully wedded husband..."
  27. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 10:57 am

    "Just say "NO"", Charlie Sheen.

    "Not on the first date", any Kardashian.

  28. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:01 am

    I`m glad mullets are back in style.
  29. Profile photo of whodat6484
    whodat6484 Male 30-39
    3908 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:06 am
    I love your crocs, where can I get a pair like that?
  30. Profile photo of LordJim
    LordJim Male 60-69
    6942 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:12 am
    `Real wealth is in the smile of a child, the unspoiled beauty of nature and in knowing that you have striven to make the world a better, fairer place.` Donald Trump.
  31. Profile photo of whodat6484
    whodat6484 Male 30-39
    3908 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:15 am
    I love your crocs, where can I get a pair like that?
  32. Profile photo of HolyGod
    HolyGod Male 30-39
    6740 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:16 am
    "Pumpkin lava lamp widget flamingo herpes brick molasses."
  33. Profile photo of markust123
    markust123 Male 40-49
    3889 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:17 am
    No, I will not go down on you Leo.
  34. Profile photo of LordJim
    LordJim Male 60-69
    6942 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:18 am
    `OK, mate. I`ve checked your gutters, tiles and flashing. The conclusion of our free estimate is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your roof.`
  35. Profile photo of puppies04
    puppies04 Male 18-29
    686 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:35 am
    "Your call isn`t important to us at all, that`s why we pay foreigners who can barely speak English a pittance to annoy you until you have to ask for someone who you can understand and are made out to be a racist. Have a nice day"
  36. Profile photo of llaa
    llaa Male 30-39
    1664 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:35 am
    Quick kids, get the dog`s heart-worms it`s dinner time!
  37. Profile photo of turdburglar
    turdburglar Male 30-39
    4896 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:40 am

    "Ecstacy Snorting Hooker Bites John`s Balls Off"
  38. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:41 am

    "She`s too young", George Clooney.

    "He`s too young", Demi Moore.
  39. Profile photo of drawman61
    drawman61 Male 50-59
    7738 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:42 am
    @HolyGod, I was just going to say that.
  40. Profile photo of markust123
    markust123 Male 40-49
    3889 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:45 am
    "We don`t really have anything against gay people, we were just using them to get millions of dollars in donations, we are sorry for all the pain we have cause the gay community,"

    Focus on the Family, Family Research Counsel, Family Research Institute, Liberty Counsel, Traditional Values Coalition, National Organization for Marriage... etc.
  41. Profile photo of pianok
    pianok Male 50-59
    320 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:46 am
    Finally after all these years, We CAN all just get along.
  42. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:56 am

    Thank you, Al Sharpton, for easing racial tensions.
  43. Profile photo of markust123
    markust123 Male 40-49
    3889 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:04 pm
    "We actually liked almost everything in Obamacare, in fact a lot of the ideas were ours, we just opposed it because it is a huge win for President Obama, sorry America for putting our party above the health of our citizens,"

    The Republican Party, Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck...etc.
  44. Profile photo of markust123
    markust123 Male 40-49
    3889 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:09 pm
    "I actually did kill my wife, I am so sorry for the pain I have caused her family and friends," OJ Simpson
  45. Profile photo of LordJim
    LordJim Male 60-69
    6942 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:10 pm
    HolyGod, not a sentence.
  46. Profile photo of LordJim
    LordJim Male 60-69
    6942 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:11 pm
    `Y`know, Thatcher was right.`

    Me.
  47. Profile photo of markust123
    markust123 Male 40-49
    3889 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:12 pm
    "I studied the bill until I understood the whole thing,"

    Any congressman talking about a bill they just passed. Or even,

    "I actually read the bill."
  48. Profile photo of LordJim
    LordJim Male 60-69
    6942 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:14 pm
    `You did what? You sexually abused a child? Dammit, I`m calling the cops.`

    Any catholic bishop.
  49. Profile photo of LordJim
    LordJim Male 60-69
    6942 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:20 pm
    panth753

    Oh, come on Rush. Just one wafer thin mint.
  50. Profile photo of edana42
    edana42 Female 50-59
    2509 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:46 pm
    And the award for Artist of the Year - Justin Bieber.


    -oh, wait :(
  51. Profile photo of madduck
    madduck Female 50-59
    7558 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:48 pm
    Oh dear Lord Jim... I was about to say that...okay,
    David Cameron- such a decent bloke... me!
  52. Profile photo of markust123
    markust123 Male 40-49
    3889 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:48 pm
    "Sorry, I was just being a troll,"

    Pretty much anyone, at one time or another, in the political posts.
  53. Profile photo of madduck
    madduck Female 50-59
    7558 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 12:49 pm
    my God- The Right had it nailed all along....
    the Left.
  54. Profile photo of auburnjunky
    auburnjunky Male 30-39
    10339 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 1:39 pm
    I`ve said that before Markust.
  55. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17514 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 1:41 pm
    "I`m going to return my Nobel Peace Prize" - Barrack Obama.
  56. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 1:41 pm

    "Turns out you CAN pray away the gay!" - Richard Simmons
  57. Profile photo of TheGuySmiley
    TheGuySmiley Male 18-29
    1243 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 1:42 pm
    "lets colonize the sun"
  58. Profile photo of Johanvb
    Johanvb Male 40-49
    509 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 1:47 pm
    But mr. Dawkins had really good arguments about your non-existance.
  59. Profile photo of ktroyani
    ktroyani Male 30-39
    62 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 1:53 pm
    "I learn a lot of useful information whenever I visit i-am-bored.com"
  60. Profile photo of bacon_pie
    bacon_pie Male 30-39
    3061 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 2:08 pm
    This post isn`t gonna be called racist.
  61. Profile photo of NNoamfer
    NNoamfer Male 18-29
    1216 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 3:08 pm
    This post is racist.
  62. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 3:20 pm
    "I would LOVE to go out on a date with you, Squrlz!" --Kitteh9Lives.
  63. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    "How about a white baby this time?" Angelina Jolie to Brad Pitt
  64. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    "Too young." - Woody Allen
  65. Profile photo of tsiemens
    tsiemens Male 30-39
    515 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 4:02 pm
    You`re right global warming IS a myth!
  66. Profile photo of Zed68
    Zed68 Male 40-49
    1015 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 4:02 pm
    "I`d like to thank my agent, the Academy, my parents..."

    Leonardo Di Caprio
  67. Profile photo of Suicism
    Suicism Male 18-29
    3625 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 4:19 pm
    I am bored.

    :-)
  68. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    "What an adorable kitty, I love him so much!" - pmarren
  69. Profile photo of MrPeabody
    MrPeabody Male 30-39
    1920 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 4:48 pm
    "You guys should check out Break.com, It`s one of my favorite sites!" -- fancylad
  70. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    I hope they never stop making Harlem Shake videos.
  71. Profile photo of MrPeabody
    MrPeabody Male 30-39
    1920 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 4:59 pm
    "When we said `Don`t be evil` we were talking about you not us." -- Google
  72. Profile photo of MrPeabody
    MrPeabody Male 30-39
    1920 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 5:01 pm
    "Most of our ideas were stolen from others" -- Apple
  73. Profile photo of insane_ai
    insane_ai Male 30-39
    796 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 5:20 pm
    Let`s introduce the new couple:
    Mr & Mrs. Barrack and Sarah Palin-Obama.
  74. Profile photo of insane_ai
    insane_ai Male 30-39
    796 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 5:21 pm
    So Gerry, did the pussy taste as good as you expected....

    Gerry: Even better, I`m going straight for life.
  75. Profile photo of insane_ai
    insane_ai Male 30-39
    796 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 5:22 pm
    I voted for Obama and I`m proud of it - CrakrJak
  76. Profile photo of insane_ai
    insane_ai Male 30-39
    796 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 5:22 pm
    NO, I wouldn`t dare stir the pot just for a reaction - Me.
  77. Profile photo of fancythat
    fancythat Male 30-39
    1950 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 5:25 pm
    "No, honey - it`s okay. You can trust him. He`s a politician."
  78. Profile photo of patchouly
    patchouly Male 40-49
    4746 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 5:27 pm
    That Patchouly guy has no idea what he`s talking about.
  79. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 5:34 pm

    On Celebrity Jeopardy,
    "I`ll be playing for the Gay & Lesbian Community Center" - Bill O`Reily
  80. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    32794 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 5:41 pm
    "I just don`t feel like spamming IAB with catgirls today..." - 5Cats



    Never. Going. To. Happen. >^,.^<
  81. Profile photo of larryscow
    larryscow Male 30-39
    4 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 5:58 pm
    Look ma the tornado is going around the trailer park
  82. Profile photo of Nerd_Rage
    Nerd_Rage Male 18-29
    425 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 6:01 pm
    Okay, I`ll give you my gun.
  83. Profile photo of PoptartinSD
    PoptartinSD Female 40-49
    178 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 6:07 pm
    That Fancylad is just sooooo funny.....
  84. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    32794 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 6:39 pm
    @davymid: Are you repeating that on purpose? Is it a "never said sentence" or are you giving 1st Prize to @markust?

    Or are the "Ghosts in your machine" repeating your posts again?

  85. Profile photo of ahha1
    ahha1 Male 30-39
    10 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 7:08 pm
    "As your doctor I can say, it was the prayers that saved your life."
  86. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    That`s so unusual for DavyMid to flog a dead horse like that.
  87. Profile photo of moose76
    moose76 Male 18-29
    20 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 7:27 pm
    The Narflox is wokked. Never been said. Guarantee.
  88. Profile photo of Magentab0b
    Magentab0b Female 30-39
    1467 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 7:50 pm
    It isn`t the dress that makes your ass look big.
  89. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 8:02 pm
    F*ckberries. I dunno what`s going on. We (and by "we", I mean "da wife"), recently got an iPad. So I`m on IAB on this machine, my work machine, iPod and iPad all at once throughout the day. Must be something to do with that.

    On a previous post on religion, I apparently repeated my rant on no less than 330-odd consecutive posts.

    Funky thing is, you can`t even post the same comment twice if you try. Change a character or add a space and it`ll work, but whatever. As someone said earlier today, I`m going to go watch Gremlins.

    Earlier post deleted, and now I`m going to the stand in the corner for an hour hanging my head in shame, and think about what happened here today.
  90. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 8:09 pm
    Lemme offer this:

    "You know, I`ve seen this already on Reddit. But I`m OK with that. Because there are many in the I-A-B community who may not have seen it yet, and it might even bring a cheeky smile to their face. And hey, it`s not like anyone stole it, Reddit ripped it off from somewhere else, just like we do here.

    Also, I`m a massive contributor to the site. There was this one time I submitted a link, and it was attributed to someone else. I`m completely OK with that too. Most interesting things probably get submitted by multiple users, so you Mods have to pick one. Keep up the good work guys!"

    8-)
  91. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36660 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 9:10 pm

    "Gee, it`s so unusual for davymid to go off on a tangent like that."
  92. Profile photo of sutra46
    sutra46 Female 40-49
    2550 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:08 pm
    Linky not workie
  93. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15841 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:10 pm
    "I voted for Obama because of his extraordinary record of successful executive experience and his profound respect for constitutionally limited government."
  94. Profile photo of sutra46
    sutra46 Female 40-49
    2550 posts
    March 25, 2013 at 11:18 pm
    Oh I see
    No don`t make me work for my funny.

    *Stick s toung out to Gerry*
  95. Profile photo of banur
    banur Male 18-29
    250 posts
    March 26, 2013 at 2:07 am
    Funky thing is, you can`t even post the same comment twice if you try.

    You can. Look at the URL after a post, the comment is passed that way. Once you hit refresh, it will post again, as it seen with whodats post below.

    I will do that here, too.
  96. Profile photo of banur
    banur Male 18-29
    250 posts
    March 26, 2013 at 2:10 am
    Odd, it not working at the moment.
    I think there is a catch build in, so that you can`t double post two times in a row but if you keep the site open and refresh after an other post you should get the result.
  97. Profile photo of banur
    banur Male 18-29
    250 posts
    March 26, 2013 at 2:10 am
    Funky thing is, you can`t even post the same comment twice if you try.

    You can. Look at the URL after a post, the comment is passed that way. Once you hit refresh, it will post again, as it seen with whodats post below.

    I will do that here, too.
  98. Profile photo of banur
    banur Male 18-29
    250 posts
    March 26, 2013 at 2:11 am
    Yep, works that way.
  99. Profile photo of Atrayu4u
    Atrayu4u Female 18-29
    1478 posts
    March 26, 2013 at 3:33 am
    Oh.. I was thinking "grammar error." Fun.
  100. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    March 26, 2013 at 4:42 am
    Ah, thanks Banur. Never knew. ;-/
  101. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    32794 posts
    March 26, 2013 at 6:18 am
    Lolz: @davymid: I`m a bad person, getting such a laugh from your computer trouble... }-)

    I`m still sad I missed the 330 posts... dang!
  102. Profile photo of McGovern1981
    McGovern1981 Male 30-39
    14268 posts
    March 26, 2013 at 7:06 am
    recently got an iPad.

    Found your problem.
  103. Profile photo of Magentab0b
    Magentab0b Female 30-39
    1467 posts
    March 26, 2013 at 6:31 pm
    McGovern you`re so funny.

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