Sentences Likely Never To Be Spoken [Pic]

Submitted by: Gerry1of1 3 years ago Funny

Add whatever comes to mind. I"ll start: The Oscar for best actor goes to Steven Segal.
There are 104 comments:
Female 1,467
McGovern you`re so funny.
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Male 14,330
[quote]recently got an iPad. [/quote]

Found your problem.
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Male 36,534
Lolz: @davymid: I`m a bad person, getting such a laugh from your computer trouble... }-)

I`m still sad I missed the 330 posts... dang!
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Male 12,138
Ah, thanks Banur. Never knew. ;-/
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Female 1,478
Oh.. I was thinking "grammar error." Fun.
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Male 250
Yep, works that way.
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Male 250
[quote]Funky thing is, you can`t even post the same comment twice if you try.[/quote]

You can. Look at the URL after a post, the comment is passed that way. Once you hit refresh, it will post again, as it seen with whodats post below.

I will do that here, too.
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Male 250
Odd, it not working at the moment.
I think there is a catch build in, so that you can`t double post two times in a row but if you keep the site open and refresh after an other post you should get the result.
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Male 250
[quote]Funky thing is, you can`t even post the same comment twice if you try.[/quote]

You can. Look at the URL after a post, the comment is passed that way. Once you hit refresh, it will post again, as it seen with whodats post below.

I will do that here, too.
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Female 2,549
Oh I see
No don`t make me work for my funny.

*Stick s toung out to Gerry*
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Male 15,832
"I voted for Obama because of his extraordinary record of successful executive experience and his profound respect for constitutionally limited government."
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Female 2,549
Linky not workie
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Male 37,897

"Gee, it`s so unusual for davymid to go off on a tangent like that."
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Male 12,138
Lemme offer this:

"You know, I`ve seen this already on Reddit. But I`m OK with that. Because there are many in the I-A-B community who may not have seen it yet, and it might even bring a cheeky smile to their face. And hey, it`s not like anyone stole it, Reddit ripped it off from somewhere else, just like we do here.

Also, I`m a massive contributor to the site. There was this one time I submitted a link, and it was attributed to someone else. I`m completely OK with that too. Most interesting things probably get submitted by multiple users, so you Mods have to pick one. Keep up the good work guys!"

8-)
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Male 12,138
F*ckberries. I dunno what`s going on. We (and by "we", I mean "da wife"), recently got an iPad. So I`m on IAB on this machine, my work machine, iPod and iPad all at once throughout the day. Must be something to do with that.

On a previous post on religion, I apparently repeated my rant on no less than 330-odd consecutive posts.

Funky thing is, you can`t even post the same comment twice if you try. Change a character or add a space and it`ll work, but whatever. As someone said earlier today, I`m going to go watch Gremlins.

Earlier post deleted, and now I`m going to the stand in the corner for an hour hanging my head in shame, and think about what happened here today.
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Female 1,467
It isn`t the dress that makes your ass look big.
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Male 20
The Narflox is wokked. Never been said. Guarantee.
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Male 37,897

That`s so unusual for DavyMid to flog a dead horse like that.
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Male 10
"As your doctor I can say, it was the prayers that saved your life."
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Male 36,534
@davymid: Are you repeating that on purpose? Is it a "never said sentence" or are you giving 1st Prize to @markust?

Or are the "Ghosts in your machine" repeating your posts again?

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Female 178
That Fancylad is just sooooo funny.....
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Male 425
Okay, I`ll give you my gun.
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Male 4
Look ma the tornado is going around the trailer park
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Male 36,534
"I just don`t feel like spamming IAB with catgirls today..." - 5Cats



Never. Going. To. Happen. >^,.^<
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Male 37,897

On Celebrity Jeopardy,
"I`ll be playing for the Gay & Lesbian Community Center" - Bill O`Reily
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Male 4,746
That Patchouly guy has no idea what he`s talking about.
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Male 1,950
"No, honey - it`s okay. You can trust him. He`s a politician."
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Male 1,258
NO, I wouldn`t dare stir the pot just for a reaction - Me.
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Male 1,258
I voted for Obama and I`m proud of it - CrakrJak
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Male 1,258
So Gerry, did the pussy taste as good as you expected....

Gerry: Even better, I`m going straight for life.
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Male 1,258
Let`s introduce the new couple:
Mr & Mrs. Barrack and Sarah Palin-Obama.
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Male 1,920
"Most of our ideas were stolen from others" -- Apple
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Male 1,920
"When we said `Don`t be evil` we were talking about you not us." -- Google
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Male 37,897

I hope they never stop making Harlem Shake videos.
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Male 1,920
"You guys should check out Break.com, It`s one of my favorite sites!" -- fancylad
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Male 37,897

"What an adorable kitty, I love him so much!" - pmarren
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Male 3,631
I am bored.

:-)
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Male 1,015
"I`d like to thank my agent, the Academy, my parents..."

Leonardo Di Caprio
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Male 514
You`re right global warming IS a myth!
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Male 37,897

"Too young." - Woody Allen
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Male 37,897

"How about a white baby this time?" Angelina Jolie to Brad Pitt
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Male 6,227
"I would LOVE to go out on a date with you, Squrlz!" --Kitteh9Lives.
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Male 1,216
This post is racist.
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Male 3,061
This post isn`t gonna be called racist.
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Male 62
"I learn a lot of useful information whenever I visit i-am-bored.com"
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Male 527
But mr. Dawkins had really good arguments about your non-existance.
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Male 1,243
"lets colonize the sun"
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Male 37,897

"Turns out you CAN pray away the gay!" - Richard Simmons
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Male 17,512
"I`m going to return my Nobel Peace Prize" - Barrack Obama.
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Male 10,339
I`ve said that before Markust.
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Female 7,838
my God- The Right had it nailed all along....
the Left.
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Male 4,298
"Sorry, I was just being a troll,"

Pretty much anyone, at one time or another, in the political posts.
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Female 7,838
Oh dear Lord Jim... I was about to say that...okay,
David Cameron- such a decent bloke... me!
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Female 2,509
And the award for Artist of the Year - Justin Bieber.


-oh, wait :(
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Male 7,123
panth753

Oh, come on Rush. Just one wafer thin mint.
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Male 7,123
`You did what? You sexually abused a child? Dammit, I`m calling the cops.`

Any catholic bishop.
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Male 4,298
"I studied the bill until I understood the whole thing,"

Any congressman talking about a bill they just passed. Or even,

"I actually read the bill."
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Male 7,123
`Y`know, Thatcher was right.`

Me.
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Male 7,123
HolyGod, not a sentence.
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Male 4,298
"I actually did kill my wife, I am so sorry for the pain I have caused her family and friends," OJ Simpson
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Male 4,298
"We actually liked almost everything in Obamacare, in fact a lot of the ideas were ours, we just opposed it because it is a huge win for President Obama, sorry America for putting our party above the health of our citizens,"

The Republican Party, Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck...etc.
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Male 37,897

Thank you, Al Sharpton, for easing racial tensions.
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Male 320
Finally after all these years, We CAN all just get along.
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Male 4,298
"We don`t really have anything against gay people, we were just using them to get millions of dollars in donations, we are sorry for all the pain we have cause the gay community,"

Focus on the Family, Family Research Counsel, Family Research Institute, Liberty Counsel, Traditional Values Coalition, National Organization for Marriage... etc.
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Male 7,775
@HolyGod, I was just going to say that.
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Male 37,897

"She`s too young", George Clooney.

"He`s too young", Demi Moore.
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Male 4,893

"Ecstacy Snorting Hooker Bites John`s Balls Off"
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Male 1,692
Quick kids, get the dog`s heart-worms it`s dinner time!
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Male 686
"Your call isn`t important to us at all, that`s why we pay foreigners who can barely speak English a pittance to annoy you until you have to ask for someone who you can understand and are made out to be a racist. Have a nice day"
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Male 7,123
`OK, mate. I`ve checked your gutters, tiles and flashing. The conclusion of our free estimate is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your roof.`
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Male 4,298
No, I will not go down on you Leo.
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Male 7,924
"Pumpkin lava lamp widget flamingo herpes brick molasses."
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Male 3,909
I love your crocs, where can I get a pair like that?
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Male 7,123
`Real wealth is in the smile of a child, the unspoiled beauty of nature and in knowing that you have striven to make the world a better, fairer place.` Donald Trump.
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Male 3,909
I love your crocs, where can I get a pair like that?
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Male 37,897

I`m glad mullets are back in style.
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Male 37,897

"Just say "NO"", Charlie Sheen.

"Not on the first date", any Kardashian.

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Female 3,696
"Do you accept this man, Mr Fancylad, to be your lawfully wedded husband..."
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Female 9,402
"I`m full." Rush Limbaugh
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Female 2,228
SminkyPinky, I`ll go you one better.

"Stephanie Meyer interred next to Shakespeare, other literary greats, at Westminster Abbey."
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Male 613
I like receiving spam.
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Male 11,740
Fancy is a genius. All of his posts are brilliant. (Yeah it`s two sentences, sue me.)
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Male 1,151
"Check this out, I`m gonna go throw this cup of Coke at Ron Artest"
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Male 59
Large stock piles of WMD manufacturing equipment were finally found in a warehouse one mile from the former green zone in Iraq.
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Male 59
There are not enough videos of cats on the internet.
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Male 761
"Obama is the greatest President we`ve ever had."-OldOllie
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Male 3,285
Fancylad is really turning this site into a huge success....
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Male 5,190
"I was wrong" The usual bunch that argues on here daily with the exception of Davy.
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Male 34
One day i would really like to give it to your sister.
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Male 358
The motion picture academy award for best special effects in the history of film is...
"Plan 9 from outer space!"
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Male 411
"I could go for some p***y right now." - Gerry
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Male 3,578
"let me help you with your English and welcome to I-M-B where we have respect for everyones opinions."
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Male 12,138
OK, game`s over. Markust already won.
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Male 2,552
"I could really go for a plate of liver with a side of Brussels sprouts right now." ~Me
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Male 1,442
" Everyone is acting very calm and orderly on this religious/political post. "

" Every post is a 4 star on the front page! "

" This is a repost, but I will let is slide because it was posted 7 years ago and most people would not know of it. "

" You are entitled to your own option and I am not going to try to argue you into seeing it my way. "

" Your* "
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Male 108
And the Grammy goes to Nickelback
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Male 37,897

"Gee FancyLad - That was a very amusing post."
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Male 1,471
Markust123 wins this round...
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Male 1,471
So, mr. Smith. You want me to remove your testicles, and sow them onto your forehead?
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Female 233
"The winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature: Katie Price"
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Male 4,298
"My mistake, I was wrong." CrakrJak
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Male 37,897

Said by your blind date,
"Gee! Your knowledge of Star Trek trivia is so erotic!"
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Female 258
Hand me that grand piano.
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Male 37,897
Link: Sentences Likely Never To Be Spoken [Pic] [Rate Link] - Add whatever comes to mind. I`ll start: The Oscar for best actor goes to Steven Segal.
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