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Category: Funny
Date: 02/23/13 07:48 AM

27 Responses to Wild Turkey Attacks Reporter

  1. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31759 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 7:50 am
    Link: Wild Turkey Attacks Reporter - In Russia, turkey eats YOU! (It`s Sweden, I think, but I don`t have any `In Sweden` jokes)
  2. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:01 am

    Those red eyes are horrifying.
  3. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17515 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:03 am
    That`s a pretty small bird, for a turkey. If it is a turkey.
  4. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31759 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:04 am
    Sweden? Could be, thanks for adding that!
    Also: It`s probably not a turkey, it`s probably a "Grouse" of some sort.

    But those guys laughing their arses off is too funny!

    What an angry bird!
  5. Profile photo of kitteh9lives
    kitteh9lives Female 70 & Over
    8033 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:11 am
    You are welcome 5cats.
  6. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:16 am

    What`s really funny is that for a few seconds there, it looked like the bird was going to take on the truck: "What are *you* lookin` at?!"
  7. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36170 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:20 am

    You don`t have any Sweden jokes? Well it`s a country full of blonde people so it can`t be too hard to come up with one.

    A Swede walks into the post office.
    "This letter is too heavy," the post-clerk stated, "You will have to put on an additional stamp."
    The swede looked wonderingly at him, "Will it be lighter then?" he asked.


    Thank you. Thank you. I`m here all week.
  8. Profile photo of auburnjunky
    auburnjunky Male 30-39
    10339 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:22 am
    Just kick the damn thing!
  9. Profile photo of lt633c
    lt633c Male 50-59
    143 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:26 am
    The only reason this sh*t happens is because we humans don`t punt the lil f***ers into next week.
  10. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36170 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:34 am

    The little swedish kid asked his teacher why the days in the summer were so much longer.

    The teacher answered, "Oh, that`s because the heat makes everything expand."
  11. Profile photo of Nickel2
    Nickel2 Male 50-59
    5879 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:47 am
    I prefer mine smooth from the bottle rather than raw on foot.
  12. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:49 am

    So apparently this thing is a Black Grouse. What look like red eyes are actually red feathers located just above the eyes.

    I want a cage match: "Squrlz vs. The Black Grouse." Place your bets, people.
  13. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31759 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:51 am
    What`s really funny is that for a few seconds there, it looked like the bird was going to take on the truck: "What are *you* lookin` at?!"
    @Squrlz4: I KNOW! I laughed so much!

    Grouse: Hey, what are you stopping for? You want a piece of this too?
    (truck drives off)
    Yeah, I didn`t think so!

    lolz!

    @Kitteh9: Yeah, I complain if my descriptions get mangled, but often they`re improved by @Fancy & @TheMods eh? I sometimes note in my comment (in the submission page) that my description sux, feel free to change it!

    @MacGuffin: tack!, tack så mycket!

    So it`s a Swedish Grouse, no worries!
  14. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31759 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:53 am
    @Squrlz4: Have you seen grouses fighting? They`re scary!

    Of course there`s those videos of squirrels beating up snakes and scorpions & stuff...
  15. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 8:59 am

    @5Cats: I think it breaks down something like this.

    Grouse = demonic; squirrel = scrappy (with heart).

    It would be an AWESOME cage fight.
  16. Profile photo of artmunki
    artmunki Male 30-39
    176 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 9:14 am
    Not a Turkey or a Black Grouse - this is a Capercaillie, and they`re AWESOME! And the males are just a *teensy* wee smidgen territorial. ;p

    Oh, and Capercaillie are actually a type of grouse, but Black Grouse are a different, smaller species ... they`re quite funky too tho.
  17. Profile photo of Kain1
    Kain1 Male 18-29
    1473 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 9:19 am
    Why doesn`t he just give a square kick to the ribs?.. Teach it a lesson on attacking things 10 times it`s size..
  18. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36170 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 9:36 am

    A swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris.
    "Just a moment," the clerk said.
    "Oh, thank you," the swede replied and hung up
  19. Profile photo of blonc
    blonc Male 30-39
    127 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 9:41 am
    Hey Gerry... sounds like you`ve got some Norweigian heritage. Usually they who slam us swedes:)
  20. Profile photo of klaxor
    klaxor Male 18-29
    646 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 9:56 am
    It`d have been funny if the car had run it over at 1:10
  21. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36170 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 10:07 am

    @ blonc, nope, 100% british background, both sides.

    There was a professor in a swedish college who was yelling at his class because they were so incredibly lazy.
    "I wouldn`t be surprised if 50% of you flunk this math class," he said.
    One of the kids put up his hand. "But there aren`t that many in this class," he said.
  22. Profile photo of diylobotomy
    diylobotomy Male 18-29
    1832 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 10:13 am
    I got attacked by wild turkey once. Blacked out and woke up in jail with a confederate flag tattoo and the worst hangover ever.
  23. Profile photo of Beardofzeus
    Beardofzeus Male 30-39
    670 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 10:45 am
    Notice the height the video was shot at? Quite low? Nice use of the new Russian turkey dashcam...
  24. Profile photo of 97e4ad
    97e4ad Male 50-59
    47 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 3:48 pm
    It`s an auerhahn, aka capercaillie. It`s a kind of European grouse, and they get bigger than than one.
    Turkeys only live in the New World (North and South America).
  25. Profile photo of scheckydamon
    scheckydamon Male 60-69
    675 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 4:45 pm
    He just thought the reporter was cute.
  26. Profile photo of Simbosan
    Simbosan Male 40-49
    159 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 7:07 pm
    Thanksgiving??!!! I`ll give you thanksgiving...
  27. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15844 posts
    February 23, 2013 at 10:19 pm
    1) Grab turkey by the neck.
    2) Swing turkey around your head several times.
    3) Take dead turkey home.
    4) Dunk dead turkey in boiling water.
    5) Remove feathers and guts.
    6) Salt insides and rub with oil.
    7) Bake at 350 degrees for 15 min. per pound.
    8) Serve with dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, cranberry sauce, hot rolls with butter and jelly, and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

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