Meanwhile in Australia... [Pic]

Submitted by: kitteh9lives 4 years ago Misc

Never leave your window open. It"s always the cute ones that fool you.
There are 22 comments:
Male 12,365
A nervous Briton goes to Australia and runs into a pub next to the airport, almost certain that a deadly poisonous spider is going to bite him any second now. He checks under the chair before sitting on it, just in case, and checks the ceiling too, in case there`s one up there that could jump off onto his shoulder and bite him in the neck! Deadly poisonous spiders all over the place!

The locals have seen this before. One of them strolls over and says "G`day. Are you checking for deadly poisonous spiders? No worries, there aren`t any around here."

"Really? You`re sure?"

"I`m sure. I`ve been here 20 years and I`ve never even seen one."

The tourist visibly relaxes at this reassuring news...just as the local says "I reckon the deadly poisonous snakes ate all the spiders".
0
Reply
Male 12,365
I`m not fooled.

If it was really from Australia, it would be venomous!

:)
0
Reply
Male 700
what kidnd of pussy is scared of a harmless huntsmen? It`s the funnel webs you need to watch out for they will kill the shi.t out of you
0
Reply
Male 916
what kind of person leaves an unattended window open on a continent with huntsmen?
0
Reply
Male 5,874
One of my Australian work-colleagues used to talk of `Flaming galahs` that would rip up the seat of his motorbike for the hell of it.
Now I understand.
Galah is an "Old Australian" word; an derrogatory term that means a "loud-mouthed idiot." Named specifically for the galah, a native Australian bird that makes a distinctive (and quite funny-sounding) call: The roseate coc katoo
0
Reply
Female 4,349
motherf ucking australia!
0
Reply
Female 2,602
So, that roosteratoo is a member of IAB then? You can tell by his frenetic typing style.
0
Reply
Male 500
Kill it.
0
Reply
Male 2,376
i left my window open once and an angel flew in and told me i was awesome.
0
Reply
Male 2,160
i once left my windows wide open and went out shopping for food and whatnot for an hour, didn`t think anything of it as i live on the 9th floor (US/UK scale). came back to a few pigeons and a busted mess where the plates i´d left from lunch had been.
it reminded me why spending money on screens wasn`t a bad idea, to keep things from out there from coming in here.
0
Reply
Male 2,368
Hunt and peck kind of typing I`ll wager.
0
Reply
Male 14,774
Would be nice in a pie.
0
Reply
Male 7,775
He was tweeting. Ha, see what I did there.
0
Reply
Female 3,727
OH hell no...
0
Reply
Female 2,228
Pssh, if that were really taken in Australia the bird would be at least 6 ft. tall with chest ripper foot claws and sporting venomous dripping fangs. Everybody knows that...
0
Reply
Male 3,310
I was hoping my suggestion of hermetic sealing wouldn`t be taken seriously. It would cut off your O2 supply.
0
Reply
Male 37,888

Profworm, I heard that the #1 killer of australian men was australian women.
Seems they get kinda wild and are unusually strong.
Butch chicks
0
Reply
Male 483
You know what animal kills the most people in Australia every year, Thelonious?

The horse.

It`s not as bad as the internet makes it out to be.
0
Reply
Male 139
what a galah.
0
Reply
Male 3,310
If you live in Australia and do not keep yourself hermetically sealed off from nature, you have a death wish.
0
Reply
Male 1,015
spiders were not enough bad-ass
0
Reply
Female 8,044
Link: Meanwhile in Australia... [Pic] [Rate Link] - Never leave your window open. It`s always the cute ones that fool you.
0
Reply