What Jesus Would Really Do If He Returned [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 4 years ago in Misc

I want this bumper sticker every time a Christian throws their self-righteousness around like a free pass.
There are 28 comments:
Male 14,331
[quote]Just like Jesus would never own a gun.[/quote]

ROFL!!! He already does!!!
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Male 40,772
@HG = Wee wee wee! It`s all about mee mee mee!

YOU don`t believe in hell, but those you directed the comment at (not `to`) DO! Your defence is invalid.

[quote] Jesus wouldn`t eat pork either...
Wow that is a hell of an extrapolation.[/quote]

Jesus WOULD eat pork! He changed the `rules` the Jews lived under. NOT the laws of God (well, not all of them) but the rules like Kosher food and circumcision.

So yes! Prok is on the menu for the second Last Supper!

WHY do you prattle on about things which you have NO knowledge of?

Oh yeah, you like to "play the Devil`s advocate".
Old, it`s just getting so old!
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Male 9,769
5Cats

"How do you figure that?"

I just figure the guy that said: "But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." wouldn`t shoot someone, that`s all.

"Yes, therefor if WE vote Republican WE will burn in hell!
"I am the way, the truth and the light. Without me there is NO salvation"
So if WE disobey Jesus by voting Repub, we CANNOT have salvation, therefor we`ll burn in hell for our sins!"

Wow that is a hell of an extrapolation. Jesus wouldn`t eat pork either, but you don`t go to hell for a ham sandwich do you?

I don`t even believe in hell, which you know. So your comment is even more ridiculous.

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Male 40,772
[quote]Just like Jesus would never own a gun.[/quote]
@HG: You`re grasping at straws now!
How do you figure that? His disciples carried swords! The 35AD version of a gun...

[quote]I simply said Jesus would never vote Republican.[/quote]
Yes, therefor if WE vote Republican WE will burn in hell!
"I am the way, the truth and the light. Without me there is NO salvation"
So if WE disobey Jesus by voting Repub, we CANNOT have salvation, therefor we`ll burn in hell for our sins!

YOU SAID IT!
Man-up @HG, just admit it! You`ll feel better.

And keep the "you`re insane" slander for someone who isn`t suffering from Unipolar Depression - k?

Or is it fair game to insult and slander people with a sickness?
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Female 2,525
I want that sticker.
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Male 9,769
5Cats

"You`re really that clueless? VOTE DEMOCRAT OR YOU"LL BURN IN HELL! Ok? That`s what YOU are saying, get it yet?"

I said nothing of the sort. I simply said Jesus would never vote Republican. Just like Jesus would never own a gun. That doesn`t mean you`ll go to hell if you do. I don`t even believe in hell.

Have you ever heard of Toxoplasmosis? It seems a logical answer to how in the f.uck you come up with this stuff.
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Female 9
my question is, who the hell took this picture? the reflection in the top window looks like a balding man in traditional romanian clothing, and the reflection in the back of the van looks like the legs of a sexy woman in a tube dress.
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Male 40,772
[quote]What does that have to do with me saying who Jesus would vote for?[/quote]
@HG: You`re really that clueless?
VOTE DEMOCRAT OR YOU"LL BURN IN HELL!
Ok?
That`s what YOU are saying, get it yet?
You`ve directly connected one`s relifion with one`s political party, the OPPOSITE of "seperation".
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Male 1,243
emagehtmai: right on
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Male 4,431
What no one is mentioning or acknowledging here is why this bumper sticker even exists in the first place. Know why?!! I do. It`s because of effing Christian Trolls who put stickers on THEIR that ask "What Would Jesus Do?" And let`s not pretend that that`s a question. It`s rhetorical and judgmental by its very existence. What would He do? He sure as ish wouldn`t go around judging people. And, ironically, *He`s* the only one supposedly qualified to do so!
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Male 2,419
OldOllie,
Don`t forget the flamm`n trolls!
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Male 15,832
[quote]Dayum.. Just lately its religion flamers followed by political flamers - like bloody Syria round here[/quote]
Right, and add to that PUMPKIN flamers!
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Male 3,310
Jesus was all about slapping people on the cheek. That`s why He told them to turn the other one. So He could biatch slap that mof too!!
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Male 9,769
5cats

" I thought you liked to keep church and state seperated? You just said so in the other thread. Yet here you are linking how one votes DIRECTLY to one`s religion! Tsk tsk, my my... (You did challenge me to find inconsistancies in your words vs your views, and I found 2 without even leaving these two threads!) "

Huh? I don`t even really know how to respond to that. I wish religion didn`t exist, but it always will. I just don`t want it influencing government or policies. What does that have to do with me saying who Jesus would vote for?
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Male 13,630
Dayum.. Just lately its religion flamers followed by political flamers - like bloody Syria round here
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Male 40,772
But wait!
I thought you liked to keep church and state seperated? You just said so in the other thread.
Yet here you are linking how one votes DIRECTLY to one`s religion!

Tsk tsk, my my...

(You did challenge me to find inconsistancies in your words vs your views, and I found 2 without even leaving these two threads!)
(laughing my arse off now)
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Male 40,772
@Langer: if memory serves (and it often does not! lolz!) Jesus overturned the tables of the moneychangers in the Temple.
#1 they were violating the literal `House of God` (They were all Jews eh? No `Christians existed back then) by doing something so immoral there!
#2 they were doing it on the Sabbath iirc, which is also a no-no.
@gothmo: I don`t think he got in trouble directly, but the group who later ganged up and turned him over to the Romans really REALLY didn`t like it!

[quote]How does saying Jesus wouldn`t vote Republican slander Christians?[/quote]

Really @HG? You cannot figure this out for yourself? Or are you "playing Devils advocate" for some twisted reason?

Jesus would never vote for ANY Republican (you said).
Therefor: ANYONE who votes for a Republican CANNOT be a true Christian!

That = insulting.

Simple enough for you to understand?
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Female 1,324
@Langer

Yeah he flips a table I believe, but I think he gets suitably punished for it, but I can`t be certain... It`s been so long since I`ve attended church, and even longer since I`ve been religious!
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Male 9,769
5Cats

"Slandering Christians? check!
Political bias? check!
Politicizing a NON-political thread? check!
Not making any sense? Double Check!!"

How does saying Jesus wouldn`t vote Republican slander Christians? I rip on Christians all the time, just don`t see how this is one.

Politicizing? Ya for sure. I just have always found it off that hardcore Republicans use Jesus when SO many things in the Republican party are directly contrary to Jesus`s teachings.
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Male 40,772
I highly doubt Jesus would slap me.

VV @beternal: IAB is not a creative site. We don`t MAKE the things we post, with VERY rare exceptions!
So unless it`s an internal re-post, there`s no point in complaining that you`ve "seen it before somewhere else" eh?

"He sure as S.HIT would not vote Republican."

@HolyGod: Aaaand there he goes AGAIN!
Slandering Christians? check!
Political bias? check!
Politicizing a NON-political thread? check!
Not making any sense? Double Check!!
Just-Like-He-Does Every-Freaking-Time...

(hint: Jesus was born in the Middle East...)
(At least the first time...)
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Male 399
[quote]Jesus wouldn`t slap anyone, stupid sticker.[/quote]

isn`t there a part where he goes ape sh*t when some people used a synagogue as a local market?...that points to having a tolerance limit
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Male 557
It`s good to know their are christians out there who dont think everyone will burn in hell, and arent a bunch of hoppin hippocrites
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Male 342
Okay, I get it, everybody HATES Christians. But why is it on IAB? Also, I don`t feel self-righteous. If Fancy came up with that caption on his own, he is a complete and utter moron.
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Male 17,511
Jesus wouldn`t slap anyone, stupid sticker.
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Male 9,769
He sure as S.HIT would not vote Republican.
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Male 187
If Jesus returned, he would heal the sick, forgive those who sin, and expose the worlds hypocrites (you know, like those TV preachers that are all "Gay people are going to hell!" and then get caught soliciting blowjobs from gay staff members). Remember, when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he replied with [paraphrasing here] "Love God with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength". The second greatest commandment? Love your neighbor as yourself. That`s it. Everything else is just gravy, those are the meat and potatoes of Jesus` teachings. If you can`t follow those two simple commandments, all the other stuff many so-called "Christians" preach on isn`t going to matter.

</end rant>
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Male 2,586
ok, until now I had faith in IAB... but when even isolated old me has seen stuff before and Fancy posts it as something new... I cry :-(
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Male 20,920
Link: What Jesus Would Really Do If He Returned [Pic] [Rate Link] - I want this bumper sticker every time a Christian throws their self-righteousness around like a free pass.
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