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Category: Misc
Date: 10/27/12 10:23 AM

28 Responses to What Jesus Would Really Do If He Returned [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18502 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 10:24 am
    Link: What Jesus Would Really Do If He Returned - I want this bumper sticker every time a Christian throws their self-righteousness around like a free pass.
  2. Profile photo of beternal
    beternal Male 18-29
    2589 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 10:59 am
    ok, until now I had faith in IAB... but when even isolated old me has seen stuff before and Fancy posts it as something new... I cry :-(
  3. Profile photo of EmagehtmaI
    EmagehtmaI Male 18-29
    187 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 11:17 am
    If Jesus returned, he would heal the sick, forgive those who sin, and expose the worlds hypocrites (you know, like those TV preachers that are all "Gay people are going to hell!" and then get caught soliciting blowjobs from gay staff members). Remember, when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he replied with "Love God with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength". The second greatest commandment? Love your neighbor as yourself. That`s it. Everything else is just gravy, those are the meat and potatoes of Jesus` teachings. If you can`t follow those two simple commandments, all the other stuff many so-called "Christians" preach on isn`t going to matter.

    </end rant>
  4. Profile photo of HolyGod
    HolyGod Male 30-39
    6205 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 11:25 am
    He sure as S.HIT would not vote Republican.
  5. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17515 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 12:20 pm
    Jesus wouldn`t slap anyone, stupid sticker.
  6. Profile photo of Fantom2993
    Fantom2993 Male 18-29
    342 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm
    Okay, I get it, everybody HATES Christians. But why is it on IAB? Also, I don`t feel self-righteous. If Fancy came up with that caption on his own, he is a complete and utter moron.
  7. Profile photo of JoexBro
    JoexBro Male 18-29
    540 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm
    It`s good to know their are christians out there who dont think everyone will burn in hell, and arent a bunch of hoppin hippocrites
  8. Profile photo of Langer
    Langer Male 18-29
    394 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 1:44 pm
    Jesus wouldn`t slap anyone, stupid sticker.

    isn`t there a part where he goes ape sh*t when some people used a synagogue as a local market?...that points to having a tolerance limit
  9. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31799 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 2:31 pm
    I highly doubt Jesus would slap me.

    VV @beternal: IAB is not a creative site. We don`t MAKE the things we post, with VERY rare exceptions!
    So unless it`s an internal re-post, there`s no point in complaining that you`ve "seen it before somewhere else" eh?

    "He sure as S.HIT would not vote Republican."

    @HolyGod: Aaaand there he goes AGAIN!
    Slandering Christians? check!
    Political bias? check!
    Politicizing a NON-political thread? check!
    Not making any sense? Double Check!!
    Just-Like-He-Does Every-Freaking-Time...

    (hint: Jesus was born in the Middle East...)
    (At least the first time...)
  10. Profile photo of HolyGod
    HolyGod Male 30-39
    6205 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm
    5Cats

    "Slandering Christians? check!
    Political bias? check!
    Politicizing a NON-political thread? check!
    Not making any sense? Double Check!!"

    How does saying Jesus wouldn`t vote Republican slander Christians? I rip on Christians all the time, just don`t see how this is one.

    Politicizing? Ya for sure. I just have always found it off that hardcore Republicans use Jesus when SO many things in the Republican party are directly contrary to Jesus`s teachings.
  11. Profile photo of gothmo
    gothmo Female 18-29
    1324 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 3:21 pm
    @Langer

    Yeah he flips a table I believe, but I think he gets suitably punished for it, but I can`t be certain... It`s been so long since I`ve attended church, and even longer since I`ve been religious!
  12. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31799 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 3:52 pm
    @Langer: if memory serves (and it often does not! lolz!) Jesus overturned the tables of the moneychangers in the Temple.
    #1 they were violating the literal `House of God` (They were all Jews eh? No `Christians existed back then) by doing something so immoral there!
    #2 they were doing it on the Sabbath iirc, which is also a no-no.
    @gothmo: I don`t think he got in trouble directly, but the group who later ganged up and turned him over to the Romans really REALLY didn`t like it!

    How does saying Jesus wouldn`t vote Republican slander Christians?

    Really @HG? You cannot figure this out for yourself? Or are you "playing Devils advocate" for some twisted reason?

    Jesus would never vote for ANY Republican (you said).
    Therefor: ANYONE who votes for a Republican CANNOT be a true Christian!

    That = insulting.

    Simple enough for you to understand?
  13. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31799 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 3:57 pm
    But wait!
    I thought you liked to keep church and state seperated? You just said so in the other thread.
    Yet here you are linking how one votes DIRECTLY to one`s religion!

    Tsk tsk, my my...

    (You did challenge me to find inconsistancies in your words vs your views, and I found 2 without even leaving these two threads!)
    (laughing my arse off now)
  14. Profile photo of ferdyfred
    ferdyfred Male 40-49
    13606 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 4:26 pm
    Dayum.. Just lately its religion flamers followed by political flamers - like bloody Syria round here
  15. Profile photo of HolyGod
    HolyGod Male 30-39
    6205 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 5:39 pm
    5cats

    " I thought you liked to keep church and state seperated? You just said so in the other thread. Yet here you are linking how one votes DIRECTLY to one`s religion! Tsk tsk, my my... (You did challenge me to find inconsistancies in your words vs your views, and I found 2 without even leaving these two threads!) "

    Huh? I don`t even really know how to respond to that. I wish religion didn`t exist, but it always will. I just don`t want it influencing government or policies. What does that have to do with me saying who Jesus would vote for?
  16. Profile photo of thelonious
    thelonious Male 40-49
    3278 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 8:23 pm
    Jesus was all about slapping people on the cheek. That`s why He told them to turn the other one. So He could biatch slap that mof too!!
  17. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15844 posts
    October 27, 2012 at 10:13 pm
    Dayum.. Just lately its religion flamers followed by political flamers - like bloody Syria round here
    Right, and add to that PUMPKIN flamers!
  18. Profile photo of MrOrange
    MrOrange Male 30-39
    2398 posts
    October 28, 2012 at 1:03 am
    OldOllie,
    Don`t forget the flamm`n trolls!
  19. Profile photo of SmagBoy1
    SmagBoy1 Male 40-49
    4432 posts
    October 28, 2012 at 5:18 am
    What no one is mentioning or acknowledging here is why this bumper sticker even exists in the first place. Know why?!! I do. It`s because of effing Christian Trolls who put stickers on THEIR that ask "What Would Jesus Do?" And let`s not pretend that that`s a question. It`s rhetorical and judgmental by its very existence. What would He do? He sure as ish wouldn`t go around judging people. And, ironically, *He`s* the only one supposedly qualified to do so!
  20. Profile photo of TheGuySmiley
    TheGuySmiley Male 18-29
    1243 posts
    October 28, 2012 at 7:22 am
    emagehtmai: right on
  21. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31799 posts
    October 28, 2012 at 7:42 am
    What does that have to do with me saying who Jesus would vote for?
    @HG: You`re really that clueless?
    VOTE DEMOCRAT OR YOU"LL BURN IN HELL!
    Ok?
    That`s what YOU are saying, get it yet?
    You`ve directly connected one`s relifion with one`s political party, the OPPOSITE of "seperation".
  22. Profile photo of munchy123
    munchy123 Female 18-29
    9 posts
    October 28, 2012 at 9:25 am
    my question is, who the hell took this picture? the reflection in the top window looks like a balding man in traditional romanian clothing, and the reflection in the back of the van looks like the legs of a sexy woman in a tube dress.
  23. Profile photo of HolyGod
    HolyGod Male 30-39
    6205 posts
    October 28, 2012 at 2:16 pm
    5Cats

    "You`re really that clueless? VOTE DEMOCRAT OR YOU"LL BURN IN HELL! Ok? That`s what YOU are saying, get it yet?"

    I said nothing of the sort. I simply said Jesus would never vote Republican. Just like Jesus would never own a gun. That doesn`t mean you`ll go to hell if you do. I don`t even believe in hell.

    Have you ever heard of Toxoplasmosis? It seems a logical answer to how in the f.uck you come up with this stuff.
  24. Profile photo of zombunny
    zombunny Female 18-29
    2525 posts
    October 28, 2012 at 3:08 pm
    I want that sticker.
  25. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31799 posts
    October 28, 2012 at 10:18 pm
    Just like Jesus would never own a gun.
    @HG: You`re grasping at straws now!
    How do you figure that? His disciples carried swords! The 35AD version of a gun...

    I simply said Jesus would never vote Republican.
    Yes, therefor if WE vote Republican WE will burn in hell!
    "I am the way, the truth and the light. Without me there is NO salvation"
    So if WE disobey Jesus by voting Repub, we CANNOT have salvation, therefor we`ll burn in hell for our sins!

    YOU SAID IT!
    Man-up @HG, just admit it! You`ll feel better.

    And keep the "you`re insane" slander for someone who isn`t suffering from Unipolar Depression - k?

    Or is it fair game to insult and slander people with a sickness?
  26. Profile photo of HolyGod
    HolyGod Male 30-39
    6205 posts
    October 28, 2012 at 10:32 pm
    5Cats

    "How do you figure that?"

    I just figure the guy that said: "But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." wouldn`t shoot someone, that`s all.

    "Yes, therefor if WE vote Republican WE will burn in hell!
    "I am the way, the truth and the light. Without me there is NO salvation"
    So if WE disobey Jesus by voting Repub, we CANNOT have salvation, therefor we`ll burn in hell for our sins!"

    Wow that is a hell of an extrapolation. Jesus wouldn`t eat pork either, but you don`t go to hell for a ham sandwich do you?

    I don`t even believe in hell, which you know. So your comment is even more ridiculous.

  27. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31799 posts
    October 29, 2012 at 6:44 am
    @HG = Wee wee wee! It`s all about mee mee mee!

    YOU don`t believe in hell, but those you directed the comment at (not `to`) DO! Your defence is invalid.

    Jesus wouldn`t eat pork either...
    Wow that is a hell of an extrapolation.

    Jesus WOULD eat pork! He changed the `rules` the Jews lived under. NOT the laws of God (well, not all of them) but the rules like Kosher food and circumcision.

    So yes! Prok is on the menu for the second Last Supper!

    WHY do you prattle on about things which you have NO knowledge of?

    Oh yeah, you like to "play the Devil`s advocate".
    Old, it`s just getting so old!
  28. Profile photo of McGovern1981
    McGovern1981 Male 30-39
    14273 posts
    October 29, 2012 at 8:50 am
    Just like Jesus would never own a gun.

    ROFL!!! He already does!!!

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