Prayer Fixes It All, Says The Church Pamphlet [Pic

Submitted by: fancylad 4 years ago Misc

And that noise you hear is thousands of palms slapping foreheads all at the same time...
There are 94 comments:
Male 335
Er, you can`t logic with religion.
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Male 809
I have prayed to a milk jug before and asked it for boobies. I then received boobies! ALL HAIL THE MILK JUG!
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Male 3,407
holy crap!! that dudes broken vertebrae was just miraculously healed?? some one should check that water.
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Male 1,243
HolyGod: You know, some times its best to just not say anything at all when you don`t know enough about the topic.. but they say you can`t teach an old dog new tricks. Maybe you can prove them wrong?
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Male 7,909
CrakrJak

"Perhaps you are, but the real GOD is not evil."

Have you actually read the bible?

How do you get more evil than KILLING EVERY LIVING PERSON AND ANIMAL ON THE PLANET except for a few in a boat? You can say that some were sinful, but all certainly weren`t. There were babies and children who died painfully,scared and alone. If God wanted to reset the world he could have just had everyone die in their sleep peacefully. He chose to DROWN them.

Obviously that is predicated on the bible being true, which I personally don`t believe.

"If God was evil he wouldn`t have offered us salvation through the sacrifice of his son Jesus Christ."

Salvation from whom? HIMSELF! He could`ve given that without creating a son for the sole purpose of being brutally tortured to death. Again, pretty evil.
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Male 143
@CrakrJak thats so true! if god was evil he wouldn`t have given us Santa Clause or the easter bunny either! the church invented the word sin and then offered people salvation from said sin... sounds legit
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Male 380
I`ve know some people who were "incompatible with life" that still lives on.....
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Male 17,512
HG: "...god is evil"

Perhaps you are, but the real GOD is not evil. Mankind`s sin is evil and that`s our own undoing.
If God was evil he wouldn`t have offered us salvation through the sacrifice of his son Jesus Christ.
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Male 7,909
honkeylips

"I once got shot in the face with a shotgun and I had no head, but I prayed about the problem and now everything is better."

I prayed for an extra head just so in case one ever gets shot with a shotgun I`m OK.
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Male 1,586
I once got shot in the face with a shotgun and I had no head, but I prayed about the problem and now everything is better.
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Male 7,909
bigfatdynamo

"You have a strong notion of God`s sovereignty in accordance with Calvinism. I wonder if you were raised as such and have reacted against it."

I wasn`t raised anywhere near a church of any kind. My views on God come from my experiences and reading the bible. I just have never understood how anyone can read the bible and come away with a belief "that God is good".

If you read the bible as a series of allegorical parables and life lessons, in which case I guess I can see that point. However if you take the bible verbatim and literally god is evil.
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Male 7,909
TheGuySmiley

"Prayer is always a good thing!"

So are cupcakes and kittens. But they don`t cure cancer either.
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Male 5,811
[quote]Just don`t let it be your only hope..[/quote]

Exactly. Everyone knows that`s Obi-Wan.
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Male 1,243
Prayer is always a good thing!
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Male 1,421
Just don`t let it be your only hope..
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Male 259
@patchgrabber - You misunderstand. I want people to hope, regardless of whether it it is in the God I serve.

@HolyGod - Your argument is one that I struggle with everyday. However, If I truly believe that God is good I must therefore behave that way. Hence I must stop evil where I can and do good where I can. Not because I must, no. I do it because I believe God has transformed me. You have a strong notion of God`s sovereignty in accordance with Calvinism. I wonder if you were raised as such and have reacted against it. I would recommend reading about Open Theism. It may provide a more rational point of view concerning what God can do and does.

My conviction is different than yours. I will continue to act on my convictions though my faith is eschewed as the new stupidity. It was considered such in antiquity, too.
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Male 17,512
elkingo: I`m no evangelist and don`t try to convert anyone.

That was said in jest, but he took it personally.
I could try and explain `unanswered` prayer, but having done so before on several occasions, I know it falls on deaf ears.

For what it`s worth though, Read Matthew chapter 6.
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Female 3,001
my mum was healed in Church, she had broken her back and was in a wheel chair. Now she walks around like a normal person with no pain, even though the doctors said that would never happen.
but anyway, I believe in miracles, I don`t give a crap if you don`t aha, its not like you not believing can put my mum back in a wheelchair.
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Male 15,832
HG, Robert Heinlein said it best:

"Man rarely, if ever, creates a god superior to himself. Most gods have the manners of a spoiled child."
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Male 995
Granville must be a Marvel character, no other explanation
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Female 4,086
deluded freaks.
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Female 7,833
Individually we should allow people to act in such a manner as to give them comfort and hope. Should we encourage this behaviour as a substitute for actual help- no, of course not. For some institutions it does seem the boundaries are blurred.
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Male 1,016
incompatible with life.....wtf
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Male 543
here sheep.....
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Male 7,909
bigfatdynamo

"We prayed for God`s will above all else"

I don`t get what you are saying. You wanted God`s will to be done. But that is what was happening already. That was what was going to happen no matter what. So what did praying change?
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Male 7,909
patchgrabber

"I don`t need God for hope, happiness or anything else"

Amen brother.
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Male 7,909
bigfatdynamo

You are basically saying that you could accept and worship a "loving" god that would intentionally create the most painful situation in the world for you and your wife just because he felt like it. That doesn`t seem very loving. Truly loving someone means never wanting them to suffer. Can you imagine INTENTIONALLY doing something to hurt your child in any way? Of course not.

Yet somewhere in the world today some innocent person is going through the most horrific pain and suffering imaginable. Somewhere a child is being raped. Somewhere someone is burning alive. Somewhere someone is being tortured. You believe these are God`s "children" and he loves them. How can you possibly think that?
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Male 7,909
bigfatdynamo

That is terrific. I`m happy things worked out. I just don`t see how you can attribute your son`s survival to God anymore than you can to Kali or Thor or a bengal tiger.

The fact that you would have accepted your son`s death is hard for me to understand. That you believe that there is an omnipotent force that could choose your son to be born and suffer and die and leave you with the grief for the rest of your life is hard for me. That you believe that to be a "loving" god is really hard. To believe that you would actually accept that decision and in some way thank God for it is impossible for me to understand.
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Male 5,811
[quote]I would that all of you find hope in some way. No one should live without it[/quote]
Nice sentiment with a side of self-righteousness. I don`t need God for hope, happiness or anything else. I love my life, it`s fantastic. The notion that people without faith have no hope, morals, or whatever else is erroneous.

If I take a lamp and shine toward the wall, a bright spot will appear on the wall. The lamp is our search for truth, for understanding. Too often we assume the light on the wall is God, but the light is not the goal of the search, it is the result of the search. The more intense the search, the brighter the light on the wall. The brighter the light on the wall, the greater the revelation upon seeing it. Similarly, someone who does not search, who does not bring a lantern with him, sees nothing. What we perceive as God is the by-product of our search for God.
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Male 5,620
"Listen to the doctors, the scientists, these are people who can help you."

My belief is that God`s design allowed for people to learn these things. I just simply think of it in these terms: If I were God, I would want all of my creations to be self sufficient.

God gave people free will in my opinion. We should always be thankful to those that help us. I know I sure am thankful to the urologist that helped me lower the odds of another kidney stone! (I passed 5 in less than 6 months.) My thanks to God was the intelligence to see a specialist.
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Male 2,670
So there is a god, or gods, who have the power to intervene in the midst of tragedy, but only intervene if you beg?

Yeah, riiiiiight.
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Male 5,620
"prayed for a toy for Christmas or his birthday and didn`t get it, has been bitter ever since."

Crackalacka -- has this style of witnessing ever converted 1 person?
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Male 259
My son was dying on June 2, 2009. The doctors said there was no medical hope for him as they had attempted everything they had available to them and he was not responding. His problem? He was born three months premature.

I still remember the doctor, who was of Indian descent, sitting us down and telling us if we believed in a god then we should pray. We prayed and prayed and prayed. What did we pray for? We prayed for God`s will above all else. If Brian was being called back to God then we would let him go. That was the hardest decision my wife and I ever had to make.

Brian is now three years old whose heart is the sweetest I have ever known.

The point is this - I had hope. I am sorry that prayer seems as a poison to so many. I am sorry that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has become toxic to so many. I would that all of you find hope in some way. No one should live without it.
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Male 261
This is irresponsible graphic design.
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Female 373
You mean they don`t have prayer 101 at first year medical school, wow clearly missing out on a fully rounded education.
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Female 97
I have Cystic Fibrosis. If nobody had said "may as well try this to make the runt stop crying" I wouldn`t be here. Nobody prayed for me then, and I`m now 23.
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Male 2,390
and to think I went to school and studied medicine. eff me I`m stupid
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Male 7,378
Step 1) Pray for a Romney win.
Step 2) Meet back here on November 7th.
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Male 687
2nd one is freaking Jesus...times 3. Also..can someone explain to me how can you die 3 times? I mean..you die once..and if you don`t come alive you`re dead...just once.
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Male 1,421
- 1 000 000 for Davy, that was lo.
+ 1 000 for Crakrjak for taking the high road, very nice reply. Even if i don`t like the guy, that was class.
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Male 1,421
These people clearly haven`t read the bible.. It`s pretty clear that miracles are not happening anymore (i`m not saying they ever were, just referring to what the "good book" says about the subject, i`m ex-christian now agnostic in my stance over this) and prayers are suppose to be about you and god. Not what you want from god, whether it`s cure from disease for someone else or world peace for all.

It`s a private dialogue with your creator. Very similar to meditation... Actually, it is meditation but that word is "banned" because eastern philosophies use that term.

If these miracles would happen in reality, we would have tens of thousands of professional prayers in hospitals doing the healing. We are not stupid, if something works we tend to use it.

Belief works, that`s proven scientifically. It just doesn`t matter in what you believe, just by believing something increases survival rates. [citation needed here.. i`ll watch a movie now.]
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Male 36,410
[quote]Wow davy just came up in here and made it all kinds of personal lol[/quote]
I noticed that too @BigWaFuu... it`s usually @madest doing that. At least @davymid`s being kinda-sorta nice about it.

Meanwhile, it`s a very silly pamphlet, no one`s mentioned if it`s real or faked yet? I`ve seen stupider Christian literature, but this sort of thing is often conjured up by Atheists as "proof" of how stupid religion is...
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Male 1,793
brain dead every one of them... if prayer worked why are my parents dead... why are babies dying all over the world...
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Male 17,512
HG: The point of prayer is not selfish desire. The point of prayer is the forgiveness of sin and to praise God for his blessings.

God is also all powerful (omnipotent) and if wants to change the plan, he can. He can even do so without disturbing his previous plans or future plans. God doesn`t see time like we do.
Our minds and science see limits and rules, God doesn`t live by our perception of those limits and rules. If he did, he wouldn`t be God.
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Male 1,745
I can see how something positive can come from prayer. Even placebo pills have real effects, and in ones study I remember they found positive results even when the patient was told they`re taking a placebo. Why should placebos ever work if our health is strictly dictated?

Our body is more than a machine. To an extent, I think our mind/attitude play a very important role in the outcome of our health. So we shouldn`t shun prayer for those who want.
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Male 13,624
HolyGod
completely with you,
but sometimes if it helps people get thru pooe, let em be
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Male 7,909
CrakrJak

"The contents of my prayers are a private matter that I don`t share with anyone."

I can appreciate that. I suppose that is the way it is supposed to be. Mathew 6:6.

But what is the point of prayer? I mean if it is to ask God for something doesn`t that seem presumptuous? He is omnipotent and has a divine plan for everything. Asking him to change anything seems kinda disrespectful.
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Male 2,513
ahahahhahahahaha, lol`d @ he died three times THEN he prayed and came back to life!
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Male 7,909
OldOllie

"God is a dick."

For once you and I are in complete agreement. God has the best PR campaign ever. Credit for everything good and anything bad is "mysterious ways". People are convinced that God is just and loving when in fact the Bible itself makes a case for the exact opposite.

My problem isn`t so much that I don`t believe God exists (which I don`t), but that people think God is good. If God is real and the bible is true then he is a horrible spiteful jealous evil conceited a.sshole.
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Female 373
On a lighter side CrakrJak, I get your point, we lost our mother young, she opted not to go into chemo, we cherished our time with her and yes her faith became stronger for the experience. Pros and cons, we live with things and move on best we can, if pray helps then yay. Never helped me in my life, but I try not disregard what others think. I am pretty sure with the guy who died 3 times we are not hearing about all the brave medical staff that worked to save his life. He has chosen to express it one way for a pamphlet. seriously though, the pamphlet made me laugh. That is what I come here for.
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Male 13,624
davymid/ CrakrJak
Im not the religious sort, but sometimes it helps,
My mother went through bowel cancer 2 years ago, the medical support was fantastic, had her large bowel removed, chemo, and all the nasty stuff. In hospital for a fair while, but she still prayed every night, and I joined her at her bedside, just to, I guess make her feel better. Now I know the medical staff saved her, but she still says god helped her, if it makes her happy, I`ll nod my head and agree. She is back to full health, and is fully engaged in the Macmillan cancer trust, paying back what she says is her dues, god bless her. And Im sorry for your loss Cracker
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Female 373
You may have died three times, but damn it I`ve got a broken heart.
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Female 4,349
wherd i gets me som o that magic jesus wader?
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Male 1,162
Wow davy just came up in here and made it all kinds of personal lol
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Male 17,512
Davy: Prayer doesn`t hold people back from seeking doctors or scientists, and it was never meant to.

My Mom was a nurse, she sought out the best healthcare available and got it. After all her treatments and surgeries, we all thought she was cured. Alas, the cancer had metastasized throughout her body. She knew her prognosis, it was dim. She decided to enjoy the rest of her life without further treatment, instead more chemo and radiation that would`ve made her sick.

She died in her sleep and never once cursed God for her plight. Prayer did help her, it helped her stay cognizant, it helped her endure the pain, it helped her stay magnanimous, it helped her soul.

Sorry if I hit a nerve there Davy, I was joking but apparently something about that bothered you deeply.

Science can`t heal a person`s soul there is no prosthetic for that.
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Male 1,558
Stupid f ucking religous a s s holes
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Male 12,138
[quote]I`m sensing Davy prayed for a toy for Christmas or his birthday and didn`t get it, has been bitter ever since. [/quote]
First of all, f*ck you Crackrjak, you`re a dick. I`m about to say something mean, and will probably regret it tomorrow.

Crackrjak, your mother died of cancer, correct? If she had any chance of being saved from cancer, the only people who could have saved her were professional oncologists. Prayer wouldn`t have helped. Promise.

It doesn`t help your cause when you keep spouting anti-scientific bullcum that there`s no such thing as evolution.

Seriously buddy, listen to yourself. It`s people like you that are holding others back who otherwise could have actually helped themselves.

Listen to the doctors, the scientists, these are people who can help you.

Meant with love. Though I`m sure it will fall on deaf ears.
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Male 37,888

@ Crakr - my apologies if my posts offended. It wasn`t my intent to belittle your faith. I know faith is important to those who have it. Mostly my comments were aimed at a general idea, not specific to anyone. If one god can be real why can`t the myriad of other gods be real also? That`s all. If your faith gives you something important, well-done-you.

Anyway, having given that disclaimer, let`s get back to picking on religion in general. Always good sport.
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Male 17,512
HG: The contents of my prayers are a private matter that I don`t share with anyone.

I`m sensing Davy prayed for a toy for Christmas or his birthday and didn`t get it, has been bitter ever since.
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Male 1,056
So who did they prayed to? must be a new god.
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Male 37,888

I believe in the one true Coffee Machine ! ! !

Blessed be the bean!
Caffine be with you.
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Female 2,549
Why do people buy into this.
If any other product made these claims most `people of faith` will roll their eyes
Here let me try, the miracle coffee machine : believe in it and it will cure your baldness with a daily shot. Believe in it & it will get your wife Pregnant with twins. Believe in it and your home will move to southern Italy.
YOU JUST GOTTA BELIVE IN THE COFFEE MACHINE.
Any takers?
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Male 4,793
All you religious folk, you are all fuc*ing retarded. You can deny this all you want, but at the end of the day, you are still fuc*ing retarded.
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Male 12,365
[quote]Burning bushes speaking to people[/quote]

Have you seen Frankie Boyle`s summary of religion? He references the talking bush. I`d provide a link, but Frankie Boyle is not a subtle comedian and doesn`t moderate his language. He`s much less moderate about religion than you are, but the bludgeoning bluntness of his delivery can be very funny.

"Frankie Boyle on religion" on YouTube will find the clip.

I`ll nail my colours on and say that I agree with what he says.
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Female 695
Wow
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Male 15,832
I say if God gets credit for all the good stuff, He also has to take the blame for all the bad stuff. With great power comes great responsibility, and with infinite power comes infinite responsibility. On balance, therefore, God is a dick.
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Male 12,138
If you`re religious/spirtual, go for it. Nothing wrong with that.

But don`t talk sh*t about how a f*cking broken vertebrae (singular is vertebra, by the way) was healed by the power of prayer.

If it was healed at all, it was healed by modern science, medicine and technology. Not by mumbling at the sky.

Funny how God used to be everywhere. Miracles around every corner. Burning bushes speaking to people, people living inside fish for days, tablets brought down from the mountain etc. F*ck me, you could hardly move in them days without the big booming voice coming out of the sky.

He`s been fairly quiet in recent years. Does he just not give a sh*t anymore? Or is it more about scientific understanding in 2012 vs *THE F*CKING BRONZE AGE*?

/rant
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Female 3,562
You don`t need science and medicine. If you go to the doctor with a heart attack and you live it`s only because God saved your life.
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Male 2,199
why didn`t prayer save Rachael`s brother from drug addiction before he died and skipped the middle problem all together?
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Male 37,888

[quote]"Just because you don`t believe in miracles, doesn`t mean they don`t happen." [/quote]
With that logic....

Just because you don`t believe aliens are mutilating cows and cutting their ass holes out, doesn`t mean they are not.

Just because you don`t believe animals can talk doesn`t mean they can`t.

or

Just because you believe God made `everything` in 6 days doesn`t mean He did.
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Male 7,909
CrakrJak

You are badly injured and on disability right? You are also a devout Christian? I`m sure you`ve prayed for your injury to heal haven`t you?

...
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Male 7,909
CrakrJak

"Just because you don`t believe in miracles, doesn`t mean they don`t happen."

Agreed. But just because you believe in miracles doesn`t mean they happen. Even if they do happen, it certainly doesn`t mean an omnipotent entity did them.
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Male 7,909
My pamphlet

Steve had cancer. Steve prayed every day. Steve died a horribly painful death from cancer.

Alex was 6 years old. Alex went to sunday school every week and prayed every night before bed. Alex was kidnapped and raped repeatedly.

Susan was a nun. She devoted her life to God and prayer. She was in a horrific car accident and she burned alive.

My people didn`t pray hard enough I guess.

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Male 37,888

I don`t care how much you pray, you still have herpes.


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Male 37,888
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Male 37,888
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Male 37,888

Sorry..... I just can`t stop myself
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Male 37,888
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Male 37,888
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Male 37,888

Another pray answered...


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Male 37,888
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Male 37,888
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Male 37,888

In theory, yes prayer can resolve any problem; Medical, emotional, or financial. God is "GOD" afterall. In practice it`s not that simple. Why you aks?.... because it`s all make-believe. And while the mind can talk itself into anything if it wants to believe bad enough, the reality is you are still poor no matter how much you want to believe otherwise. You are still diabetic even if your brain masks the symptoms temporarily. etc etc

But for minor emotional sadness or stress pray can certainly help. It`s just another form of medetation.

P.S. Confession really IS good for the soul.
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Male 17,512
madest: You`re about as funny as cancer.

Just because you don`t believe in miracles, doesn`t mean they don`t happen.
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Male 2,841
LOL THEISTS U SO SILLY
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Male 446
The publisher of pamphlet should start praying for his delusions to stop.
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Male 2,357
[quote]nice to know that the church think Autistic people are not "normal" and need to be healed...[/quote]
Well, Autistic people aren`t normal by definition... If they were, being Autistic would be the norm - which it isn`t.

Gotta love those people who have an incessant need to feel offended.
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Male 7,378
I think the food allergy cured his autism. And how do you pray when you`re dead? There are living people who are incompatible with life (CJ?). And Dan should have just took a bath at home.
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Male 916
incompatible with life? you don`t hear that diagnosis all that often.
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Male 1,442
Ssssuuurrreee... but when I prayed for God to cure some craps I got from a dead hooker, he sent me to hell.
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Male 3,909

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Male 2,345
nice to know that the church think Autistic people are not "normal" and need to be healed...
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Female 474
I was constipated and after prayer, I finally took a poo. Must`ve been a miracle.
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Male 19,854
Link: Prayer Fixes It All, Says The Church Pamphlet [Pic [Rate Link] - And that noise you hear is thousands of palms slapping foreheads all at the same time...
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