Before the Internet, this is how go-getters blogged.
One World Trade Center
A big “F*ck You” to the dicks that were responsible for 9/11.
Indie punk icon, still sticking to his guns and has never wavered from his beliefs.
The most inventive director America”s got. Subtle genius.
The only shoe that defines youth–straight outta Anaheim, 1966. Spans ever genre.
Born in 1930 by Chicago”s James Dewar. A staple in every kid”s diet at one time or another.
There are no words to describe Bill”s awesomeness. He could start a religion and we”d all join.
The Beastie Boys & Run-DMC
Everyone Serving With Kids Back Home
Unless you”ve done it, you”ll never know how bad it sucks.
Jerry Lewis is a dick for saying there aren”t any funny chicks.
Responsible for killing Osama Bin Laden. Nice.
Allison Stokke, Pole Vaulter
The Microwave Oven
Introduced to the public in 1947, snacking was never the same again.
The greatest athlete ever. Lebron James will never even get close.
Making other fast food taste like fast food since 1948.
The Fender Thinline Guitar
The Gibson Les Paul is fine, but Fender”s tone is the aural equivalent of a cooing baby angel.
Yeah, a bottle of Charles Shaw is about $3.50 now, but you won”t find a tastier wine in California.
The Guys Who Maintain New York”s Skyscrapers
What, you”re gonna do it?
Captain Chesley Burnett “Sully” Sullenberger
The Electromechanical Vibrator, 1902
Madonna (1983 to 1992 Only)
Understand how boring the Billboard charts were before her first LP.
The Remote Control
Made you look at art in a completely different way.
Specifically his photography of 1960s Americana. The modern Norman Rockwell.
Introduced to the world in “99 by Jim Barton and Mike Ramsay. I bet they hated commercials as much as I did.
Every Protestor In The 1969 Stonewall Riots
The Ford Mustang Fastback
Single-handedly introduced America to light bondage.
The Roller Derby
Formed in Chicago around 1935. Just go to a match and you”ll see what I mean.
Levi”s 501 Jeans
Born in the 1890s in San Francisco. They”ve trancended everything since.
Kurt Vonnegut writes his greatest piece of work in 1969. Flawless.
Yeah, Clint Eastwood is a bad ass, but Bronson was just a gritty vigilante.
If America is a lady, Bill”s two terms was its eight-year orgasm.
The Zippo Lighter
If you”re gonna smoke to look cool, don”t half-ass it with a Bic. You go Zippo.
Clerks By Kevin Smith
Love it or hate it (or him), but Smith turned the indie movie industry on its ass with this one.
Chicago Deep Dish Pizza
Pizza might have been invented elsewhere, but Chicago perfected it in 1943.
Bose Noise-Cancelling Headphones
You ever take a coast-to-coast flight without a pair?
Finally, a slacker that the rest of us slackers could look up to.
You bet your sweet ass Happy Hour started in America. I”d be dead without this invention.
The Beer Bong
No backyard kegger is complete without one. Feels so good when it hits the lips.
The Godfather of Punk. Bare-bones rock, no filter. A dirty by-product of Detroit.
Charles and Ray Eames
Anything and everything this husband and wife design team did was f*cking perfection. That is all.
Johnson & Johnson developed it in 1942 for use in World War II. And now, this…
Reimagined a world with technicolor superheroes. He”s finally considered a god.
If America has a house band, it”s The Ramones. Simple, hard, poppy, beautiful.
The most awesome person in rock and roll. The guy you wanna share a beer with.
Submitted by: littlemissqt (1-25), eugenius (25-50)
It”s just 50 of the greatest American things that make the United States so bad ass, no big deal.