The best in arts & entertainment, news, pop culture, and your mom since 2002.

[Total: 29    Average: 4/5]
46 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 16275
Rating: 4
Category: Funny
Date: 05/26/12 01:19 PM

46 Responses to Girls Are Not Complicated [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of ElectricEye
    ElectricEye Male 50-59
    2729 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 10:09 am
    Link: Girls Are Not Complicated - I`m sorry ladies, but Daniel has it spot on.
  2. Profile photo of -NOMAD-
    -NOMAD- Male 18-29
    23 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 1:35 pm
    Haven`t laughed that hard on IMB in a while, thanks for that
  3. Profile photo of Selous
    Selous Male 30-39
    1197 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 2:06 pm
    yup, thats about right
  4. Profile photo of RobSwindol
    RobSwindol Male 30-39
    2514 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm
    That didn`t even make sense.
  5. Profile photo of Zeegrr60
    Zeegrr60 Male 40-49
    2106 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 2:11 pm
    Danny is correct.
  6. Profile photo of Solvent
    Solvent Male 18-29
    2842 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 2:23 pm
    He forgot to add that the terrorists are on roller skates.
  7. Profile photo of geckohead
    geckohead Female 50-59
    591 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 2:24 pm
    Issues?
  8. Profile photo of OddNumber
    OddNumber Male 18-29
    201 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 2:41 pm
    he forgot about twister with no hands on boobs and more feet on blue balls
  9. Profile photo of deputy
    deputy Male 50-59
    449 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 2:46 pm
    @robswindel: when was the last time a woman in your life made sense? I think daniel is spot on
  10. Profile photo of Viking864
    Viking864 Male 40-49
    1444 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 3:33 pm
    "Bro"???? LOL

    I think I`ve figured out his problem.
  11. Profile photo of KitFox
    KitFox Female 30-39
    595 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 3:57 pm
    LOLing @ OddNumber`s post
  12. Profile photo of leesah
    leesah Female 18-29
    1566 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 4:40 pm
    Wow, lucky for you guys who call me stuck up there are girls like this with the bar REALLY low! Give her chocolate treats and tell her what a pretty bitch she is, maybe even let her sleep in the bed instead of on top of the covers!
  13. Profile photo of lemonhatred
    lemonhatred Male 18-29
    9 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 4:44 pm
    I hate men like this, they give the rest of us a bad name...
  14. Profile photo of lemonhatred
    lemonhatred Male 18-29
    9 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 4:45 pm
    I hate men like this, they give the rest of us a bad name...
  15. Profile photo of YugureKage
    YugureKage Female 18-29
    1205 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 5:25 pm
    I agree 100% leesah. Assuming this is real, she should speak for herself. Maybe chocolate treats and the occasional reinforcement of vanity is enough for her, but it sure as hell isn`t for everyone. Stupid generalizing is stupid.
  16. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11741 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 5:32 pm
    He needs to add "in the dark".
  17. Profile photo of GeFeldz
    GeFeldz Male 18-29
    135 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 5:51 pm
    To quote a swedish artist - "Kvinnor är som kattor, de förstår man sig inte på!" Or in poorly translated english "Women are like she-cats, unfathomable to man!"
  18. Profile photo of LandoGriffin
    LandoGriffin Male 30-39
    3844 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 6:00 pm
    No. I`ve been married nine years. I have to read my wife`s mind to predict when she needs certain specific types of praise or encouragement (not just chocolate or saying she is pretty.) - The problem is that women are better than men at reading unconscious facial expressions of emotion (that is a scientific fact) so women expect that men should notice subtleties that men do not notice, like if she is having a bad day and needs a backrub or needs for him to cook dinner that night.
  19. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 6:42 pm
    he hasnt learned that you are a slave to the woman and will not speak to the woman unless its compliments.
  20. Profile photo of Quik2TheStab
    Quik2TheStab Male 18-29
    661 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 7:40 pm
    If people would just shut up about how hard it is to understand the opposite gender, the problem would disappear.
  21. Profile photo of 003067
    003067 Female 18-29
    150 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 8:54 pm
    Basically what were saying is
    pick ur crap up from the floor
    give us your money
    learn how to give oral sex
    kiss us in front of people
    be nice

    sums it up
  22. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36870 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    @ 003067

    Thank you for summing up the modern femanist attitude.
    "Do for me. Do for me. Do for me." With no thought of what it takes to make a man happy. "He should be glad I stay" seems to be all women put into the relationship. Well guess what, You ain`t all that. With a minimal amount of maintenance, your guy will slay dragons for you, but you gotta bring something to the relationship that every other woman can`t supply {and without nagging}. He can NOT get oral sex from anyone, so what`s so special about you?

    Not your fault I suppose, modern girls are taught at a young age that men are pigs who oppress women and you owe them nothing. That would be wrong. For example, you listed "Learn to give oral sex." You did not say "we do that to each other."

    In summation....make your man a damn sammich and you`ll get everything you want.
  23. Profile photo of leesah
    leesah Female 18-29
    1566 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 10:14 pm
    "For example, you listed "Learn to give oral sex." You did not say "we do that to each other.""

    She said "learn". I rarely hear guys complaining about the quality of a blow job but you ask a girl about oral and she`ll either sadly laugh or recall a single all-star hookup who finally got it right.
  24. Profile photo of Penguinato23
    Penguinato23 Male 18-29
    294 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 10:58 pm
    Gerry, you saying that made me feel a little better.

    I agree that the attitude seems to be that dudes should be jumping through hoops so women will grace us with their presence. I`m not saying that that`s a pervasive female belief, but it seems to be in the back of the societal subconscious. Of course media of all sorts also reinforces that idea. The primitive notion that women aren`t as good as men is wrong, but the idea that males should constantly be going out of their way to prove themselves is cool.

    It feels bad man. Being taken for granted isn`t pleasant. Of course we aren`t supposed to admit it. Hell, it took me a while not to feel awkward discussing feelings with even doctors.

    Again, I`m not even necessarily aiming that at females. It`s a societal idea that seeps into personal beliefs to degrees. Still, it doesn`t bolster self esteem even when it`s just movies/ commercials telling us we should be grateful that women keep our sorry asses around.
  25. Profile photo of Keegan31
    Keegan31 Male 18-29
    228 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 11:05 pm
    the only reason guys don`t complain about the bj`s you give is they want to to keep giving them.
  26. Profile photo of Penguinato23
    Penguinato23 Male 18-29
    294 posts
    May 26, 2012 at 11:15 pm
    And leesah; dude`s complain about terrible, sloppy bjs. Of course complaining about bjs also makes lots of males feel kind of showoffy and gay, so it`s not a common topic.

    I`m sure an even larger part of it is that dudes don`t take oral sex for granted and laugh at women`s attempts to do something for them...unlike many women. "Haha! look at those pitiful clueless men! They can`t do anything right! Who needs em?!"

    Cause there are always other men lining up around the corner to give it a go, so completely dumping on em` is no biggie, amirite?

    Heck, look at stand up comedians; ~90% of female comedians` material is about how men suck at everything and how pitiful they are at anything sexual. It`s ok to laugh at that, and men should just be good sports.

    If a male went on and on about how much women sucked at everything and how pitiful they were in bed, most people, especially women, wouldn`t be ok with that.
  27. Profile photo of Suicism
    Suicism Male 18-29
    3625 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 1:21 am
    leesah - maybe that has something to do with the personal hygiene of your references. Just speculating.
  28. Profile photo of bridog6996
    bridog6996 Male 18-29
    571 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 2:25 am
    I rarely hear guys complaining about the quality of a blow job

    Honestly, that`s because you`re not a guy. If I got a piss poor blow-jay, the last person I`d complain to is a female. Women talk about sex with other women. Men talk about sex with other men.

  29. Profile photo of Draculya
    Draculya Male 40-49
    14657 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 2:54 am
    Gina: How easy is it to say you`re welcome and sink to your knees?
  30. Profile photo of Wendypants
    Wendypants Female 30-39
    2420 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 4:48 am
    It made me laugh. I`d like to think I`m not as bad as Daniel thinks, but I do have a tough time seeing myself from another persons point of view. Thankfully my fiance is a great help with that! Thanks Honey!!
  31. Profile photo of TKD_Master
    TKD_Master Male 18-29
    4794 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 5:18 am
    "Gina: How easy is it to say you`re welcome and sink to your knees? "

    We have a winner.
  32. Profile photo of IRockYeah
    IRockYeah Male 40-49
    2619 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 5:25 am
    "Honestly, that`s because you`re not a guy. If I got a piss poor blow-jay, the last person I`d complain to is a female. Women talk about sex with other women. Men talk about sex with other men. "

    Wait...sex with other men? Not me pal.
  33. Profile photo of leesah
    leesah Female 18-29
    1566 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 6:27 am
    "I`m sure an even larger part of it is that dudes don`t take oral sex for granted and laugh at women`s attempts to do something for them"

    That`s what you`re going with? We laugh because it`s far too obvious that, while meaning well, most of you have no idea what you`re doing. Why can nearly every girl get a blow job right the first time while a guy`s first attempt at oral is nearly always just god damn awful? If you don`t want to be laughed at, improve, work on that technique, instead of demanding your female partner be complacent and put up with your terrible sex. Everyone is happier that way.
  34. Profile photo of NNoamfer
    NNoamfer Male 18-29
    1216 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 6:56 am
    One thing, women ask for way to much from men and give nothing in return.
  35. Profile photo of Thetas
    Thetas Male 18-29
    1540 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 7:19 am
    @leesah

    You seem to be letting your real life problems effect that way communicate with strangers online? You`re making a pretty wild generalization with your post. From my experience, women never "get it right the first time."
  36. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36870 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 8:44 am

    leesah, "while meaning well, most of you have no idea what you`re doing"
    The important point here as that men will give it a go. From what my straight man friends {and female friends too} men have to plead and beg for a year or two to get a chick to make any small effort at all on his tangy tart-trombone.

    "Why can nearly every girl get a blow job right the first time while a guy`s first attempt at oral is nearly always just god damn awful?" Oh, sweetie....they lied to you.
    But if he had said, "Nice effort but you weren`t really very good" I`ve no doubt he`d be walking around with a size 6 stiletto sticking out of his forehead so you can`t blame him.

    But leesah, you did prove the point all the guys have been trying to make. Your comment was about how lame men are and how guys should be just sooooo greatful women even allow them in the house.
  37. Profile photo of PinkRhoid
    PinkRhoid Male 18-29
    1239 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 11:29 am
    Why can nearly every girl get a blow job right the first time while a guy`s first attempt at oral is nearly always just god damn awful
    Because we have different anatomy entirely. Any non-nice individual/bitch can make an O face and move their head back and forth. Toting that as if it makes you accomplished makes you look like an ass. With a lady one speed or movement or pressure is not typically sufficient to achieve great results or any results at all. Not to mention each woman is dramatically different and what one likes another hates.
  38. Profile photo of PinkRhoid
    PinkRhoid Male 18-29
    1239 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 11:29 am
    If you don`t want to be laughed at, improve, work on that technique, instead of demanding your female partner be complacent and put up with your terrible sex.
    First, only a juvenile would laugh at a partner rather than help them learn. Most men don`t expect women to be complacent. In fact, most women make 0 effort to tell a guy when he`s messing up, or how. So they think they are fine.
    If you want to be treated like anything other than a pretentious bitch, and you want to be pleased, then perhaps you should step off your high horse, and talk to them instead of ridiculing them. Also, just because most girls can get a guy off eventually because, as I said, it`s hard to do wrong, most woman are NOT good at it so your delusional as well.

    It`s funny; when a man has an attitude like yours toward women he`s a pig and a misogynist but women like you think when you do it, you`re empowered and strong. News flash, your a pig just like they are.
  39. Profile photo of bridog6996
    bridog6996 Male 18-29
    571 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 12:07 pm
    Why can nearly every girl get a blow job right the first time...

    That`s highly debatable. You only think you got it because the guy is just happy you`re touching his thing. That doesn`t mean it was good though. I`ve gotten a decent number of blowjobs in my day, but only a few women did it really well.
  40. Profile photo of DrProfessor
    DrProfessor Male 18-29
    3894 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 12:15 pm
    PinkRhoid, thank you. I concur 100% and you`ve saved me the effort of writing up a very similar post.
  41. Profile photo of 8BitHero
    8BitHero Male 18-29
    5414 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm
    PinkRhoid said it best
  42. Profile photo of RecycleElf
    RecycleElf Male 18-29
    3621 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm
    pinkroyd won the man/woman debate.

    spot on, chap!
  43. Profile photo of RecycleElf
    RecycleElf Male 18-29
    3621 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 5:40 pm
    sex is like pizza, when it`s good, it`s reaaally good! but when it`s bad... it`s still pretty good!
  44. Profile photo of lawndartsftw
    lawndartsftw Male 40-49
    1811 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 6:32 pm
    Pinkroid wins the internet today !! Jerry comes in a close second...
  45. Profile photo of ElijaBlack
    ElijaBlack Male 18-29
    275 posts
    May 27, 2012 at 11:46 pm
    if we are all on a sinking ship i believe the normal procedure is "women and children first" right? that`s fair too.
  46. Profile photo of I-IS-BORED
    I-IS-BORED Male 18-29
    2419 posts
    May 28, 2012 at 2:44 pm
    leesah by your logic i should teach a chick to give a better bj by sticking my dick in her eye, what does laughing accomplish to help your partner improve themselves?

Leave a Reply