UPS Training Manual: How To Deliver Packages [Pic]

Submitted by: Tubby12370 5 years ago in Funny

Seems legit.
There are 45 comments:
Male 97
way to not credit original artist.
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Female 1,236
Lol. So true.
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Female 734
where I live step 3 is leave it in the most conspicuous spot possible (right after the resident leaves home for 8 hours) and step 4 is deny responsibility when it goes missing
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Male 123
Step 4: Throw the package carelessly, than drive off.
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Male 5,413
Snake must be a pro at this
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Male 2,516
@Neagle, the guy that "delivered" my phone probably saw me running out the door and pressed on the gas
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Female 220
You forgot the "Come at an unreasonably early time" part...
Our store opens at 10:00 and almost everyday they come at about 7-8... So if we don`t go pick it up, it gets shipped back.
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Male 1,404
I guess I`m fortunate to live in an area with really awesome UPS, FEDEX and USPS people which makes me grateful because I do a lot of on line ordering because my mid-sized city seems to be deprived of quality retail stores. The last time I had a package that required a signature the UPS guy was driving by after he left a tag on the door saw me park in my driveway and turned around and delivered my package.
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Male 15,396
Forgot the fling the plasma screen over the fence, routine.
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Female 362
We`ve got a big flowerpot just outside our door. Every package we`ve ever gotten has been left on the door side of the pot, where it can`t be seen from the street. Never had a package stolen, never had to go pick it up.
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Male 904
In my experience UPS is the most reliable when compared to FedEx and USPS.
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Male 216
Wouldn`t surprise me...the number of times I`ve had to retrieve a package from a UPS store...
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Male 15,832
Around here they usually do the old ding-dong-ditch: walk up, put the package on the porch, fill out the form, ring the doorbell, and run like hell.

And for this, they charge extra.
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Male 2,516
College Humor version of this
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Male 2,516
I remember when I ordered my iPhone 4S I stood guard to see the delivery guy through the window, and I did. Then I (literally and unsafely) ran downstairs (no ring, no knock, no anything) and by the time I opened the door the guy was already in the truck driving away.

And of course since it`s friday, they won`t deliver it again until monday. So there I go 2 hours on the bus, in between farms and factories far from the city to pick up my phone and at the end having to pay a cabby about 45 dollars to take us through a bridge before the warehouse closes, serenaded for 30 min by loud indian music, and awkwardly "chatting" (trying to decipher) about how the cabby wants us to pay for the whole trip back to Vancouver (about 200 dollars by cab from where we were).

All because they don`t even knock... not the slightest effort to actually deliver the package.
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Female 1,324
One of our UPS guys left the gate open on one of his deliveries, we have various dog signs on the fence, we`re lucky they like the neighbor dogs across the street... The door is never knocked on, even when it`s clear someone is home, but at least most of the time its on the side door where there`s a little awning... sometimes things just get left on the front step -.- when it`s raining. If our dogs had actually run away though...
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Male 2,085
You forgot the first step; park anywhere you want.
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Female 74
A few years ago for xmas, I was supposed to receive a new Zune in the mail on xmas eve. My brother was the only one home during the day, and he stayed near the door to be sure to get my package. No knock, no ring or anything, the fedex guy LEFT the package on the front porch and walked away. It ended up quickly getting stolen by somebody in my neighborhood. We ended up calling and complaining, and the guy who did the run got the price of my zune taken out of his paycheck.
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Male 2,586
This is so true! - the number of times we`ve received a note without even hearing a knock is unreal! - even when I was right next to the door! - I literally opened it right after him and he`d already belted down the road!
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Male 626
I went with my mom to retrieve a package from the warehouse once. It was in the pootiest part of town, and lets just say it wasn`t a fun experience.
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Female 355
FedEx once sat the package of a cellphone I ordered half ass wedged between our rural mailbox and Newspaper box...which is literally a foot from the roadway anyone could have stopped and just took it with out even getting out of their damn vehicle. However, I love our UPS guy, When we catch him he`s always friendly and when we don`t he`ll take any large packages around back and leave them there.. once it was pouring outand I didn`t get to the door quite fast enough and he was sitting the package that he covered in a white garbage bag just inside our door. (which I`m sure is a company no-no but I appreciated it) I`ll miss him when I move.
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Male 2,591
I`ve worked at a fedex warehouse somewheres in the midwest.. oh dear god you do not want to know how your mail gets treated. This package needs to be sorted on the other side of the warehouse? No problem! Frisbee time!!!
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Male 25,416
worked well for years
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Male 83
this is how it usually goes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWMVpjxYJgg
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Male 3,908
Wow, way to go, you just reworded my comment, even using the comparison of FedEx drivers to magicians... amazing!
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Female 418
Haha
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Male 11,739
I have a friend who used to work there, this is totally legit. He said some days he never even stopped unless he was getting gas or food.
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Male 3,482
Never had a problem with UPS.

FedEx likes to Houdini my packages, though. They`ll be on my porch when I look out the window one second and the guy will be walking away, suddenly I`ll open the door and both the box and truck will be gone... And the "Sorry we missed you" will be floating down from the sky like some magician`s business card...
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Female 2,672
sounds a lot like royal mail...
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Male 1,586
UPS always drops and runs at my house, but I think it`s because my dogs scare him.
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Male 3,908
Yeah, I`ve never had a problem with UPS. I`ve had that exact thing happen to me with f**kin FedEx... Home all day, see the truck in the neighborhood so I`m waiting for him and then the guy does some crazy David Blaine sh*t and I find one of those "sorry we missed you" post-it notes attached to the back of my shirt like a kick me sign!!!
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Male 40,481

On the other hand, the delivery people are under inhuman pressure to deliver faster/faster/faster more/more/more in short times. They can`t wait for you get off the toilet.

Still, they don`t have to use the ones marked "fragile" for target practice.
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Male 17,511
Never put `Fragile` on a box being sent by UPS, it makes it a target for the worst abuse you can imagine.
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Male 715
I have made eye contact with the USPS guy and he still dropped, yes dropped, the package by the door.

UPS always leaves my packages off the back porch hidden behind the bushes, just like I asked them to.

I used fedex, ONCE, I heard a truck stop saw the truck through the bedroom blinds and heard a thump as the package landed on my roof
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Female 4,084
our UPS driver likes to bang on the door and incite the boxer to bark. funny, real funny, especially on afternoons after i`ve worked all night.
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Male 1,625
UPS is actually the GOOD ones, this seems more like USPS.

UPS drops the packages off before 5, and always rings the doorbell (though doesn`t stick around to see me answer the door).

better than FedEx who rings the bell twice at 9pm
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Male 2,344
not at my place. the jerk knocks, RUNS back to his truck and leaves my package by the door for anyone to steal.

one of these times I am going to wait,and open the door right as he gets there jump out grab it and slam the door shut.

then i am going to laugh as he runs down the stairs needing to change his pants.
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Male 15,510
"This is dumb. I have never had this happen. I also always impatiently track my packages online."

I do that too and is funny, I havent receive yet a package that normally should be here by last week. I call them to tell them that and they "open an investigation" and they will contact me back within 5 days >-(
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Male 15,510

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Male 168
I am checking with a UPS driver to see if this is true. I bet it is.
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Male 514
My UPS man likes to "hide" my packages under my door mat. The packages are usually way bigger than the mat.
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Male 138
This is dumb. I have never had this happen. I also always impatiently track my packages online.
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Male 2,552
LOL
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Male 416
Yes, it`s legit. I can testify to this fact, as I am a repeat victim of this corporate abuse.

One time, I saw the driver approach the house. I was on our balcony. The front gate was open. I waved at him. I left the balcony to open the door. When I arrived, he was driving away - no package, just an empty slip.

The next three employees of UPS with whom I came into contact that day (via phone) all have permanent hearing loss.
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Male 1,440
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