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Category: Funny
Date: 04/09/12 11:01 AM

45 Responses to UPS Training Manual: How To Deliver Packages [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of Tubby12370
    Tubby12370 Male 18-29
    1440 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 10:52 am
    Link: UPS Training Manual: How To Deliver Packages - Seems legit.
  2. Profile photo of simbha
    simbha Male 30-39
    412 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:10 am
    Yes, it`s legit. I can testify to this fact, as I am a repeat victim of this corporate abuse.

    One time, I saw the driver approach the house. I was on our balcony. The front gate was open. I waved at him. I left the balcony to open the door. When I arrived, he was driving away - no package, just an empty slip.

    The next three employees of UPS with whom I came into contact that day (via phone) all have permanent hearing loss.
  3. Profile photo of TruTenrMan
    TruTenrMan Male 30-39
    2553 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:14 am
  4. Profile photo of Siolas
    Siolas Male 30-39
    138 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:14 am
    This is dumb. I have never had this happen. I also always impatiently track my packages online.
  5. Profile photo of OpsAss13
    OpsAss13 Male 30-39
    514 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:14 am
    My UPS man likes to "hide" my packages under my door mat. The packages are usually way bigger than the mat.
  6. Profile photo of ddaq89
    ddaq89 Male 30-39
    168 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:16 am
    I am checking with a UPS driver to see if this is true. I bet it is.
  7. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15512 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:17 am

  8. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15512 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:20 am
    "This is dumb. I have never had this happen. I also always impatiently track my packages online."

    I do that too and is funny, I havent receive yet a package that normally should be here by last week. I call them to tell them that and they "open an investigation" and they will contact me back within 5 days >-(
  9. Profile photo of jamie76
    jamie76 Male 30-39
    2346 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:30 am
    not at my place. the jerk knocks, RUNS back to his truck and leaves my package by the door for anyone to steal.

    one of these times I am going to wait,and open the door right as he gets there jump out grab it and slam the door shut.

    then i am going to laugh as he runs down the stairs needing to change his pants.
  10. Profile photo of darkmagic14n
    darkmagic14n Male 18-29
    1625 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:38 am
    UPS is actually the GOOD ones, this seems more like USPS.

    UPS drops the packages off before 5, and always rings the doorbell (though doesn`t stick around to see me answer the door).

    better than FedEx who rings the bell twice at 9pm
  11. Profile photo of slut_etta
    slut_etta Female 50-59
    3679 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:48 am
    our UPS driver likes to bang on the door and incite the boxer to bark. funny, real funny, especially on afternoons after i`ve worked all night.
  12. Profile photo of smaus
    smaus Male 30-39
    715 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 12:04 pm
    I have made eye contact with the USPS guy and he still dropped, yes dropped, the package by the door.

    UPS always leaves my packages off the back porch hidden behind the bushes, just like I asked them to.

    I used fedex, ONCE, I heard a truck stop saw the truck through the bedroom blinds and heard a thump as the package landed on my roof
  13. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17516 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 12:04 pm
    Never put `Fragile` on a box being sent by UPS, it makes it a target for the worst abuse you can imagine.
  14. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    35684 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    On the other hand, the delivery people are under inhuman pressure to deliver faster/faster/faster more/more/more in short times. They can`t wait for you get off the toilet.

    Still, they don`t have to use the ones marked "fragile" for target practice.
  15. Profile photo of whodat6484
    whodat6484 Male 30-39
    3902 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 12:20 pm
    Yeah, I`ve never had a problem with UPS. I`ve had that exact thing happen to me with f**kin FedEx... Home all day, see the truck in the neighborhood so I`m waiting for him and then the guy does some crazy David Blaine sh*t and I find one of those "sorry we missed you" post-it notes attached to the back of my shirt like a kick me sign!!!
  16. Profile photo of honkeylips
    honkeylips Male 30-39
    1586 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 12:22 pm
    UPS always drops and runs at my house, but I think it`s because my dogs scare him.
  17. Profile photo of murrymalty
    murrymalty Female 18-29
    2676 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 12:26 pm
    sounds a lot like royal mail...
  18. Profile photo of Altaru
    Altaru Male 18-29
    3483 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 12:30 pm
    Never had a problem with UPS.

    FedEx likes to Houdini my packages, though. They`ll be on my porch when I look out the window one second and the guy will be walking away, suddenly I`ll open the door and both the box and truck will be gone... And the "Sorry we missed you" will be floating down from the sky like some magician`s business card...
  19. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11744 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 12:38 pm
    I have a friend who used to work there, this is totally legit. He said some days he never even stopped unless he was getting gas or food.
  20. Profile photo of sweatpeanis
    sweatpeanis Female 18-29
    418 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 12:41 pm
  21. Profile photo of whodat6484
    whodat6484 Male 30-39
    3902 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 12:46 pm
    Wow, way to go, you just reworded my comment, even using the comparison of FedEx drivers to magicians... amazing!
  22. Profile photo of wowcow
    wowcow Male 30-39
    83 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 1:24 pm
    this is how it usually goes...
  23. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25350 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 1:36 pm
    worked well for years
  24. Profile photo of keith2
    keith2 Male 18-29
    2587 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 1:49 pm
    I`ve worked at a fedex warehouse somewheres in the midwest.. oh dear god you do not want to know how your mail gets treated. This package needs to be sorted on the other side of the warehouse? No problem! Frisbee time!!!
  25. Profile photo of PinkHomicide
    PinkHomicide Female 18-29
    355 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm
    FedEx once sat the package of a cellphone I ordered half ass wedged between our rural mailbox and Newspaper box...which is literally a foot from the roadway anyone could have stopped and just took it with out even getting out of their damn vehicle. However, I love our UPS guy, When we catch him he`s always friendly and when we don`t he`ll take any large packages around back and leave them there.. once it was pouring outand I didn`t get to the door quite fast enough and he was sitting the package that he covered in a white garbage bag just inside our door. (which I`m sure is a company no-no but I appreciated it) I`ll miss him when I move.
  26. Profile photo of TheShgn2
    TheShgn2 Male 13-17
    626 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm
    I went with my mom to retrieve a package from the warehouse once. It was in the pootiest part of town, and lets just say it wasn`t a fun experience.
  27. Profile photo of beternal
    beternal Male 18-29
    2589 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 2:52 pm
    This is so true! - the number of times we`ve received a note without even hearing a knock is unreal! - even when I was right next to the door! - I literally opened it right after him and he`d already belted down the road!
  28. Profile photo of PeachyxKeen
    PeachyxKeen Female 18-29
    74 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm
    A few years ago for xmas, I was supposed to receive a new Zune in the mail on xmas eve. My brother was the only one home during the day, and he stayed near the door to be sure to get my package. No knock, no ring or anything, the fedex guy LEFT the package on the front porch and walked away. It ended up quickly getting stolen by somebody in my neighborhood. We ended up calling and complaining, and the guy who did the run got the price of my zune taken out of his paycheck.
  29. Profile photo of Dad4Life
    Dad4Life Male 50-59
    2055 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 3:42 pm
    You forgot the first step; park anywhere you want.
  30. Profile photo of gothmo
    gothmo Female 18-29
    1325 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 3:49 pm
    One of our UPS guys left the gate open on one of his deliveries, we have various dog signs on the fence, we`re lucky they like the neighbor dogs across the street... The door is never knocked on, even when it`s clear someone is home, but at least most of the time its on the side door where there`s a little awning... sometimes things just get left on the front step -.- when it`s raining. If our dogs had actually run away though...
  31. Profile photo of jendrian
    jendrian Male 18-29
    2516 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 6:04 pm
    I remember when I ordered my iPhone 4S I stood guard to see the delivery guy through the window, and I did. Then I (literally and unsafely) ran downstairs (no ring, no knock, no anything) and by the time I opened the door the guy was already in the truck driving away.

    And of course since it`s friday, they won`t deliver it again until monday. So there I go 2 hours on the bus, in between farms and factories far from the city to pick up my phone and at the end having to pay a cabby about 45 dollars to take us through a bridge before the warehouse closes, serenaded for 30 min by loud indian music, and awkwardly "chatting" (trying to decipher) about how the cabby wants us to pay for the whole trip back to Vancouver (about 200 dollars by cab from where we were).

    All because they don`t even knock... not the slightest effort to actually deliver the package.
  32. Profile photo of jendrian
    jendrian Male 18-29
    2516 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 6:12 pm
    College Humor version of this
  33. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15845 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 8:31 pm
    Around here they usually do the old ding-dong-ditch: walk up, put the package on the porch, fill out the form, ring the doorbell, and run like hell.

    And for this, they charge extra.
  34. Profile photo of j_dizzek_27
    j_dizzek_27 Male 18-29
    216 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 9:10 pm
    Wouldn`t surprise me...the number of times I`ve had to retrieve a package from a UPS store...
  35. Profile photo of drips
    drips Male 30-39
    904 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 9:19 pm
    In my experience UPS is the most reliable when compared to FedEx and USPS.
  36. Profile photo of ShadowVamp
    ShadowVamp Female 18-29
    362 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 10:09 pm
    We`ve got a big flowerpot just outside our door. Every package we`ve ever gotten has been left on the door side of the pot, where it can`t be seen from the street. Never had a package stolen, never had to go pick it up.
  37. Profile photo of Draculya
    Draculya Male 40-49
    14461 posts
    April 9, 2012 at 11:59 pm
    Forgot the fling the plasma screen over the fence, routine.
  38. Profile photo of Neagle
    Neagle Male 30-39
    1407 posts
    April 10, 2012 at 1:58 am
    I guess I`m fortunate to live in an area with really awesome UPS, FEDEX and USPS people which makes me grateful because I do a lot of on line ordering because my mid-sized city seems to be deprived of quality retail stores. The last time I had a package that required a signature the UPS guy was driving by after he left a tag on the door saw me park in my driveway and turned around and delivered my package.
  39. Profile photo of ilurk
    ilurk Female 18-29
    220 posts
    April 10, 2012 at 7:56 am
    You forgot the "Come at an unreasonably early time" part...
    Our store opens at 10:00 and almost everyday they come at about 7-8... So if we don`t go pick it up, it gets shipped back.
  40. Profile photo of jendrian
    jendrian Male 18-29
    2516 posts
    April 10, 2012 at 10:11 am
    @Neagle, the guy that "delivered" my phone probably saw me running out the door and pressed on the gas
  41. Profile photo of 8BitHero
    8BitHero Male 18-29
    5414 posts
    April 10, 2012 at 10:43 am
    Snake must be a pro at this
  42. Profile photo of kja1995
    kja1995 Male 18-29
    124 posts
    April 10, 2012 at 5:20 pm
    Step 4: Throw the package carelessly, than drive off.
  43. Profile photo of Willowwatch
    Willowwatch Female 30-39
    734 posts
    April 10, 2012 at 9:10 pm
    where I live step 3 is leave it in the most conspicuous spot possible (right after the resident leaves home for 8 hours) and step 4 is deny responsibility when it goes missing
  44. Profile photo of PTPete
    PTPete Female 30-39
    1236 posts
    April 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm
    Lol. So true.
  45. Profile photo of SunThunder
    SunThunder Male 18-29
    97 posts
    April 12, 2012 at 6:08 pm
    way to not credit original artist.

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