Dealing With Morning Wood [Pic]

Submitted by: eugenius 5 years ago in Funny

If you have a better way of peeing with a raging boner, I"d like to hear it.
There are 44 comments:
Male 2,220
Lol at Nickel.

Darkmagic.. the REM is usually the last stage of a healthy sleep cycle before awakening.

Anwyay, why would I want to change things? Its the best way of waking wifey up.
She`s either up for it, or she`s down to the kitchen to make breakfast...
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Male 1,595
...
Just stand and lean forward, with hands on wall behind the toilet...
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Male 5,872
Avoid the Dawn-Horn by correct use of REM sleep (Rapid Elbow Movement)
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Male 1,625
[quote]This might be from Yahoo Answers[/quote]


quick, go get me a wikipedia article that also says the same thing.

I`d like to also point out, that person clearly said "3 to 5 times during the night, typically during REM sleep." I don`t know about you, but I`m not waking up in the middle of REM, maybe you need to adjust your sleep schedule.
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Male 2,220
@Darkmagic. Are you sure?

"All men without physiological erectile dysfunction experience this phenomenon, usually three to five times during the night. It typically happens during REM sleep"

This might be from Yahoo Answers, but you *are* in the minority dude.
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Male 528
"If you have a better way of peeing with a raging boner, I`d like to hear it. "

lean forward until it`s pointing down
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Male 1,625
[quote]@darkmagic, maybe you should talk to a doctor. I`ve had this problem ever day since I was about 11.[/quote]

I`m pretty sure I`m not the one with the problem...
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Male 1,440
Yea...no.
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Male 2,688
I`m 30 and I have yet to have a problem with morning wood lasting more than a few minutes... It`s caused by sleeping in a position that cuts of circulation, so as soon as you wake up, stretch out a bit and walk around. It should go down once the circulation regulates.
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Female 2,602
[quote]@MacGuffin: It`s called "morning wood" :3[/quote]

Thank you for that crucial update, Captain Obvious.
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Male 2,332
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Male 2,332
@MacGuffin: It`s called "morning wood" :3

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Male 646
Guys, how can you rub one out when you have to piss?
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Male 646
Well, you`ve just got to shove it down as far as possible then bend way forward. Still makes a little mess.

@darkmagic, maybe you should talk to a doctor. I`ve had this problem ever day since I was about 11.
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Male 1,625
I`m nearly 30 and I have NEVER had this problem...
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Male 886
This seems....unsanitary for my balls.
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Male 4,793
Or just, you know, stand up.
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Male 2,344
no poo!
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Male 835
Think of Bea Arthur.
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Male 138
That is nasty, I would not want my junk touching the inside of the toilet. Just walk outside and let it flow or use the shower or get some before hand. Even use a soda bottle or empty cup.
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Female 3,726
Why don`t you have sex first....like we d...

NEVERMIND!
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Male 735
@Enjin he has a very very small dinky...
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Male 15,832
I just stand there, close my eyes, and think of Helen Thomas.



You gotta be careful, though. If you don`t stop after about 5 sec., you go from "morning wood" to "frightened turtle."
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Male 802
The hell... You do it that way and you`ll be touching the toilet water with yer rooster. That`s just nasty.
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Male 1,197
in the shower ...
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Male 147
You`d like to hear a better way of peeing with a raging boner? It`s called the shower. Don`t judge me, you know you do it.
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Male 599
Why the hell don`t you just bang it off if it`s given you so much grief? Just put some toilet paper in front of it and jack that wacker.
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Male 25,416
Makes so much sense.. cept my balance wouldnt be elite to that level in the morning
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Female 2,602
[quote] Playboy!? Apparently MacGuffin doesn`t understand the workings of the penis.[/quote]

I`m pretty sure my comment makes perfect sense, actually. I`m willing to be corrected, though, if you`d care to elaborate on what you think I don`t understand? After all, you`ve probably seen more of them up close than I have.
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Male 1,045
@Tacos4Brkfst

The first one is my personal favorite.
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Male 620
There was a picture posted not too long ago of a urinal right in front of a toilet. I believe it was intentionally placed for dealing with nature`s overnight cork.
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Male 1,510

Just go outside.
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Male 40,751
@Tacos4Brkfst: Highly NSFW! lolz! But very funny indeed! Thx!
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Male 514
Playboy!? Apparently MacGuffin doesn`t understand the workings of the penis.
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Male 1,558
Use the bathtub
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Male 934
At home, I more often than not piss in a cup and pour it down my kitchen sink. Of course I give the cup and the sink a quick rinse.

Btw, the cup stays in the dirty side of the sink, and I don`t drink from it until it`s been through the washer. C`mon, I`m not gross or anything.
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Male 620
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Male 32
Just take a shower so you can pee in there. Problem solved.
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Female 2,602
That`s the last Playboy that comes in this house. Your piss is ruining that ceiling! ]-<
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Male 40,751
Good thing @Eugenius isn`t a real person, or he`d feel bad about us complaining over all the CRAP he posts!
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Male 9,761
Have your gf blow you.
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Male 2,591
I just go outside and pee for distance.
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Male 490
You shove it down uncomfortably until it stops bitching and just pees.

MAN UP YA DICK.
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Male 1,620
Link: Dealing With Morning Wood [Pic] [Rate Link] - If you have a better way of peeing with a raging boner, I`d like to hear it.
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