Rockin' in the free world since 2005.

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Rating: 3.3
Category: Funny
Date: 04/13/12 04:03 PM

44 Responses to Dealing With Morning Wood [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of eugenius
    eugenius Male 30-39
    1620 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 1:36 pm
    Link: Dealing With Morning Wood - If you have a better way of peeing with a raging boner, I`d like to hear it.
  2. Profile photo of hwkiller
    hwkiller Male 18-29
    490 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 4:08 pm
    You shove it down uncomfortably until it stops bitching and just pees.

    MAN UP YA DICK.
  3. Profile photo of keith2
    keith2 Male 18-29
    2587 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 4:11 pm
    I just go outside and pee for distance.
  4. Profile photo of HolyGod
    HolyGod Male 30-39
    6203 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm
    Have your gf blow you.
  5. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31787 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 4:26 pm
    Good thing @Eugenius isn`t a real person, or he`d feel bad about us complaining over all the CRAP he posts!
  6. Profile photo of MacGuffin
    MacGuffin Female 30-39
    2602 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 4:56 pm
    That`s the last Playboy that comes in this house. Your piss is ruining that ceiling! ]-<
  7. Profile photo of Nilbog77
    Nilbog77 Male 30-39
    32 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 4:57 pm
    Just take a shower so you can pee in there. Problem solved.
  8. Profile photo of Tacos4Brkfst
    Tacos4Brkfst Male 18-29
    620 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 5:06 pm
    nsfw?
  9. Profile photo of Rawrg
    Rawrg Male 18-29
    934 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 5:23 pm
    At home, I more often than not piss in a cup and pour it down my kitchen sink. Of course I give the cup and the sink a quick rinse.

    Btw, the cup stays in the dirty side of the sink, and I don`t drink from it until it`s been through the washer. C`mon, I`m not gross or anything.
  10. Profile photo of soundman655
    soundman655 Male 50-59
    1558 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm
    Use the bathtub
  11. Profile photo of OpsAss13
    OpsAss13 Male 30-39
    514 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 5:47 pm
    Playboy!? Apparently MacGuffin doesn`t understand the workings of the penis.
  12. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31787 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm
    @Tacos4Brkfst: Highly NSFW! lolz! But very funny indeed! Thx!
  13. Profile photo of DingDingDong
    DingDingDong Male 30-39
    1511 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 6:19 pm

    Just go outside.
  14. Profile photo of Tacos4Brkfst
    Tacos4Brkfst Male 18-29
    620 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 6:23 pm
    There was a picture posted not too long ago of a urinal right in front of a toilet. I believe it was intentionally placed for dealing with nature`s overnight cork.
  15. Profile photo of Edgarska19
    Edgarska19 Male 18-29
    1045 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 6:27 pm
    @Tacos4Brkfst

    The first one is my personal favorite.
  16. Profile photo of MacGuffin
    MacGuffin Female 30-39
    2602 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 7:00 pm
    Playboy!? Apparently MacGuffin doesn`t understand the workings of the penis.

    I`m pretty sure my comment makes perfect sense, actually. I`m willing to be corrected, though, if you`d care to elaborate on what you think I don`t understand? After all, you`ve probably seen more of them up close than I have.
  17. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25408 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 7:01 pm
    Makes so much sense.. cept my balance wouldnt be elite to that level in the morning
  18. Profile photo of ivran
    ivran Male 18-29
    599 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 7:38 pm
    Why the hell don`t you just bang it off if it`s given you so much grief? Just put some toilet paper in front of it and jack that wacker.
  19. Profile photo of FinkStinger
    FinkStinger Male 30-39
    147 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 7:45 pm
    You`d like to hear a better way of peeing with a raging boner? It`s called the shower. Don`t judge me, you know you do it.
  20. Profile photo of Selous
    Selous Male 30-39
    1197 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 7:57 pm
    in the shower ...
  21. Profile photo of Enjin
    Enjin Male 30-39
    802 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 8:38 pm
    The hell... You do it that way and you`ll be touching the toilet water with yer rooster. That`s just nasty.
  22. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15844 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 8:40 pm
    I just stand there, close my eyes, and think of Helen Thomas.



    You gotta be careful, though. If you don`t stop after about 5 sec., you go from "morning wood" to "frightened turtle."
  23. Profile photo of mon360
    mon360 Male 13-17
    735 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 9:38 pm
    @Enjin he has a very very small dinky...
  24. Profile photo of lostinkorea
    lostinkorea Female 30-39
    3727 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 9:56 pm
    Why don`t you have sex first....like we d...

    NEVERMIND!
  25. Profile photo of Siolas
    Siolas Male 30-39
    138 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 10:18 pm
    That is nasty, I would not want my junk touching the inside of the toilet. Just walk outside and let it flow or use the shower or get some before hand. Even use a soda bottle or empty cup.
  26. Profile photo of clockwork208
    clockwork208 Male 30-39
    835 posts
    April 13, 2012 at 11:06 pm
    Think of Bea Arthur.
  27. Profile photo of jamie76
    jamie76 Male 30-39
    2346 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 12:29 am
    no poo!
  28. Profile photo of TKD_Master
    TKD_Master Male 18-29
    4794 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 4:46 am
    Or just, you know, stand up.
  29. Profile photo of GhettoNinja
    GhettoNinja Male 30-39
    886 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 6:35 am
    This seems....unsanitary for my balls.
  30. Profile photo of darkmagic14n
    darkmagic14n Male 18-29
    1625 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 6:57 am
    I`m nearly 30 and I have NEVER had this problem...
  31. Profile photo of mcboozerilla
    mcboozerilla Male 30-39
    646 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 7:16 am
    Well, you`ve just got to shove it down as far as possible then bend way forward. Still makes a little mess.

    @darkmagic, maybe you should talk to a doctor. I`ve had this problem ever day since I was about 11.
  32. Profile photo of mcboozerilla
    mcboozerilla Male 30-39
    646 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 7:20 am
    Guys, how can you rub one out when you have to piss?
  33. Profile photo of Reignblazer
    Reignblazer Male 18-29
    2334 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 7:55 am
    @MacGuffin: It`s called "morning wood" :3

  34. Profile photo of Reignblazer
    Reignblazer Male 18-29
    2334 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 7:57 am
    Extra info :p
  35. Profile photo of MacGuffin
    MacGuffin Female 30-39
    2602 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 8:07 am
    @MacGuffin: It`s called "morning wood" :3

    Thank you for that crucial update, Captain Obvious.
  36. Profile photo of taylor_stone
    taylor_stone Male 30-39
    2688 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 11:44 am
    I`m 30 and I have yet to have a problem with morning wood lasting more than a few minutes... It`s caused by sleeping in a position that cuts of circulation, so as soon as you wake up, stretch out a bit and walk around. It should go down once the circulation regulates.
  37. Profile photo of Tubby12370
    Tubby12370 Male 18-29
    1440 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 12:41 pm
    Yea...no.
  38. Profile photo of darkmagic14n
    darkmagic14n Male 18-29
    1625 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm
    @darkmagic, maybe you should talk to a doctor. I`ve had this problem ever day since I was about 11.

    I`m pretty sure I`m not the one with the problem...
  39. Profile photo of funnehkitteh
    funnehkitteh Male 18-29
    528 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 3:04 pm
    "If you have a better way of peeing with a raging boner, I`d like to hear it. "

    lean forward until it`s pointing down
  40. Profile photo of MattPrince
    MattPrince Male 40-49
    2220 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm
    @Darkmagic. Are you sure?

    "All men without physiological erectile dysfunction experience this phenomenon, usually three to five times during the night. It typically happens during REM sleep"

    This might be from Yahoo Answers, but you *are* in the minority dude.
  41. Profile photo of darkmagic14n
    darkmagic14n Male 18-29
    1625 posts
    April 14, 2012 at 6:40 pm
    This might be from Yahoo Answers


    quick, go get me a wikipedia article that also says the same thing.

    I`d like to also point out, that person clearly said "3 to 5 times during the night, typically during REM sleep." I don`t know about you, but I`m not waking up in the middle of REM, maybe you need to adjust your sleep schedule.
  42. Profile photo of Nickel2
    Nickel2 Male 50-59
    5879 posts
    April 15, 2012 at 2:18 am
    Avoid the Dawn-Horn by correct use of REM sleep (Rapid Elbow Movement)
  43. Profile photo of DShephard
    DShephard Male 18-29
    1595 posts
    April 15, 2012 at 1:59 pm
    ...
    Just stand and lean forward, with hands on wall behind the toilet...
  44. Profile photo of MattPrince
    MattPrince Male 40-49
    2220 posts
    April 16, 2012 at 10:52 am
    Lol at Nickel.

    Darkmagic.. the REM is usually the last stage of a healthy sleep cycle before awakening.

    Anwyay, why would I want to change things? Its the best way of waking wifey up.
    She`s either up for it, or she`s down to the kitchen to make breakfast...

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