What To Do If A Bear Attacks You... [Pic]

Submitted by: orange_panty 4 years ago Weird

Fight back if it what?!?
There are 61 comments:
Male 22
@tobyvictory
you are drated in te head for posting that
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Male 406
Running from or fighting a grizzly will end with the same results.
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Male 4,290
[quote]This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it. Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run. You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life.[/quote]
- Bill Bryson, A Walk In The Woods
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Male 130
Remember to use the line from Dog Soldiers. "I hope I give you the (poops)!" if you`re losing.
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Male 411
The key part is that you fight when it starts eating you, don`t wait for it to eat you to fight back.
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Male 294
Stand my ground and yell?

Would standing there quivering, whimpering, and silently telling god that if he somehow exists that I apologize for all the times I made fun of him count?
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Male 373
Fighting a Black Bear would be like fighting two Mike Tysons with claws.... no thank you.
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Male 25,416
Left left right left Triangle. It may work!
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Male 7,123
If something in the woods is liable to eat me then I wouldn`t go into the woods unless I was loaded for bear.
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Male 1,511
What if it ate my arms while I was playing dead, how do I fight back?
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Male 168
I have run into multiple black bears in the bush over the years and usually they just look at you with a big goofy look then wonder off. Only one ever made me nervous when he decided to shadow me for about 20 minutes. but i think he just wanted to know what the hell was in his woods.
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Male 60
Anyone else that gets reminded of the "How to tell the difference between a black bear and a grizzly." joke?
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Male 14,330
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Male 553
I`d just rather not go into the bear`s territory at all. If there`s a chance of being attacked by a grizzly, I`d have to have to have a DAMN good reason to be there.
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Male 7,775
But what if it`s raining and the grizzly`s fur looks dark? Or what if it`s a black bear with a hump on its back? And if it starts to eat me should I eat it back?? I`m confused I tells ya!
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Male 10,339
Matt Prince: If you even sorta act mad at a Black Bear, it will GTFO!

Those kids that died likely just flailed around on the ground, not knowing what to do. If one of them had stood up, screaming and punching the bear, they would have survived. Unless of course there were cubs around, obviously.

Do you remember the video of the hunter climbing into his tree stand, and the black bear never sees him and climbs as well? All the hunter does, was calmly says "Hey. What`r you doin`?" and the bear freaks his poo!
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Male 886
Mah humps, mah humps, mah lovely grizzly humps.
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Male 1,010
I have to add though that it says that "polar bears are aggressive and unpredictable by nature, and they may suddenly attack without any warning". They emphasize that "all polar bears are to be treated as a threat."
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Male 1,010
Hmmm... out of curiosity i checked the Norwegian government on Svalbard and their advises for people who encounter polar bears.

Rule nr. one: Never go unarmed into the terrain. Make sure you know how to use the weapon, and practice shooting before you leave.

The next rules are about the weapon: don`t use oil, dry- polish the weapon (it will get cold and the oil can make it jam) and keep it clean and so on.

Then they get to how to camp to avoid bears, stay out of their path etc..
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Male 4,902
Clearly black bears are giant vaginas
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Male 2,220
Hahaha - black bears are weak? You only have to look at one to know that is not the case.

THe following is all from wiki ~ but credited, so I`ll take it over cc`s bs

"The worst recorded fatality incident occurred in May 1978, in which a black bear killed three teenagers who were fishing in Algonquin Park in Canada.[76] The majority of attacks happened in national parks, usually near campgrounds, where the bears had become habituated to human contact and food."
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Male 29
I kill bears with my fists for breakfast.
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Male 1,252
try running... it will probably work cuz frankly ppl are way too much effort to catch for food. But if your a play thing you have basically only one chance. Fist drat that thing in the throat all the way down to your shoulder,your arm will be fubar, but the bear will choke out.
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Male 3,061
I`m gonna punch the bear in the junk, in the junk then the shoulder humps. It`s humps, it`s humps, it`s lovely shoulder humps.
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Male 14,773
"Eat you" not "eat you out"

Unless the bear is Armin Meiwes and then it`s pretty much the same thing.
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Male 18
I agree with Zombunny..
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Male 151
thats how they think treadwell died.. got eaten by a roaming grizzly that was starving. poor grizzly mna
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Male 715
that because you are already a zombie
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Female 2,525
Normally when someone starts to eat me I don`t fight it.
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Male 2,737
That`s the truth. You might get away with that sh*t with a black bear,.....Not with a grisly bear. Better to kiss your ass good bye.
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Male 267
@Corpsecrank - Isn`t feeding a bear a terrible idea? Then the bear associates people with food, and it`s less scared of them. When a hiker/camper doesn`t have food, they become food.
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Male 265
Black bears are like frightened 300lb squirrels and are only interested in eating easy food right then and there, so usually you can chase them away.
Grizzly bears are about 600lbs, they will usually forage for food, and build a large stockpile before munching. That is unless if they are flat out starving, then you`re screwed.
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Male 1,810
If it starts to eat you....its too late.
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Female 1,181
where i live, you need to carry bear mace with you in the summer if you leave the 6 squares miles that is our town...
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Male 1,089
you don`t say?
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Male 369
"A grizzly bear`s spore is dark in color, smells faintly of pepper and has little bells in it."

Bahaha! Nice one, MeGrendel...
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Male 423
Ah MeGrendel, that was well played.
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Male 253
"dont put yourself in a situation where you could be attacked by a bear"
"Also, you can stop invading a bear`s territory altogether."

Yes, yes! Much better to stay curled up in a fetal ball in you apartment in your giant city, with plenty of people around you at all times to protect you.
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Male 646
So when I feint I`m pretty much screwed unless it`s a grizzly who isn`t hungry?
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Male 1,754
Also, you can stop invading a bear`s territory altogether.
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Male 7,339
Two most important things to have in bear country: Pepper spray and bells. Have small bells tied to your shoes. As you walk, the bells will ring. A bear can hear you and will usually leave the area. The worst thing to do is surprise a bear.

You can tell what type of bears are in the area by their spore (poop).

The black bear spore will be light brown, about the size of a dinner plate and will contain grass and twigs.

A grizzly bear`s spore is dark in color, smells faintly of pepper and has little bells in it.
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Male 2,513
ahhahahahhhaa
if it starts to eat you... fight back!
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Male 616
KILL IT
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Male 928
Black bears are pretty weak. I don`t recommend fighting a grizzly though under any circumstances. If you encounter one get the hell outta there any way you can. Playing dead will get you mauled faster than making a break for it. I have seen to many instances of people being mangled while playing dead to take that seriously. But hey back to that black bear thing. just carry something to eat while your out in the wilderness. Black bears happen to love marshmallows so do racoons. Want left alone toss a couple down and walk away while it`s eating them it really is that easy.
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Male 36,394
A bear eating isn`t as bad as a bear dratting you, I think...
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Male 598
If it finishes eating you, play dead.
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Male 1,122
Crap a black bear....ATTACK!!!!
O.h. poo its a grizzly!
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Male 698
Insert in mouth pull trigger
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Male 1,059
Black bears. Pssshhhh... total pussies.
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Male 2,868
@yusuksomuch- fight back!
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Male 1,008
what should i do with my gun?
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Male 687
i have a better idea
dont put yourself in a situation where you could be attacked by a bear
works every time
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Male 47
@msieg007: Wait until you hit your target weight.
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Male 5,314
sh*t yourself
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Male 2,332
So am I to understand black bears are pussies?
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Male 2,034
How much should I let it eat before I fight back?
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Male 2,579
Fight those black bears, but don`t punch a grizzly till its tasted your flesh.
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Male 2,424
"Fight a black bear"

Who the drat do they think I am Davy Crockett??
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Female 357
Good Lord!
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Male 5,811
Slightly humourous, but the information is accurate. The only thing I would add is that you don`t immediately fight a black bear, you try to scare it away first.
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Female 596
Link: What To Do If A Bear Attacks You... [Pic] [Rate Link] - Fight back if it what?!?
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