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Category: Funny
Date: 03/16/12 07:48 AM

41 Responses to Fake Doughnuts: A Grade-School Kid`s Essay [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of hole_rocks89
    hole_rocks89 Female 13-17
    353 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 7:50 am
    Link: Fake Doughnuts: A Grade-School Kid`s Essay - The kid`s right--it shouldn`t be called a doughnut. I`m convinced, A+!
  2. Profile photo of patchgrabber
    patchgrabber Male 30-39
    5812 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 7:56 am
    I suppose if a `bagel` is made of sugar and greasy fat, then yes.
  3. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36208 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:02 am

    i love this kid

    :-D
  4. Profile photo of edana42
    edana42 Female 50-59
    2509 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:02 am
    donut with nothing added = donut
    donut with sugar coating = sugar donut
    donut with filling = eg strawberry donut, custard donut
    donut with XXX sugar = powdered donut

    nuff said....
  5. Profile photo of fabarati
    fabarati Male 18-29
    1240 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:04 am
    Kid`s out of his mind.
  6. Profile photo of randomxnp
    randomxnp Male 30-39
    1293 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:10 am
    It is a nut shape. It is made of dough. Hence it is a doughnut (what it says about Americans that they could spell a nut made of dough `donut` I will leave to you). "Doughnuts" that are not toroid shaped are fake. They are dough balls.

    The only good doughnut is a plain one, fresh from the fryer and still warm, dipped in a little dusting of sugar.
  7. Profile photo of pompousass7
    pompousass7 Male 40-49
    259 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:20 am
    you can eat two boston creme doughnuts for less calories than a bagel
  8. Profile photo of madduck
    madduck Female 50-59
    7421 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:24 am
    Okay- now a fresh HOT doughnut with a little castor sugar sprinkled on top is nice- but those cold iced jobs are just wrong......
  9. Profile photo of akabane
    akabane Male 18-29
    1093 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:34 am
    Though i wouldnt call them"fake" i do agree with this kid. I would give him or her an A
  10. Profile photo of unmercyfuldu
    unmercyfuldu Male 18-29
    762 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:34 am
    Those are the best donuts!
  11. Profile photo of randomxnp
    randomxnp Male 30-39
    1293 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:39 am
    Madduck - my point exactly. What is it with these Americans ruining perfectly good food, eh?
  12. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17515 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:41 am
    The reason they have holes is because street vendors would sell them from a long stick to passersby.
  13. Profile photo of Trillian42
    Trillian42 Female 18-29
    357 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:41 am
    I agree with unmercyfuldu, the plain ones are best!
  14. Profile photo of keith2
    keith2 Male 18-29
    2587 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:42 am
    Plain doughnuts are the best ones quit trippin
  15. Profile photo of incubus_inc
    incubus_inc Male 18-29
    976 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:48 am
    Yeah lay it to em IAB! Plain doughnuts are the best coffee dippers!
  16. Profile photo of Draculya
    Draculya Male 40-49
    14544 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 9:05 am
    Author has no respect for the classics.
  17. Profile photo of Qystein
    Qystein Male 18-29
    159 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 9:08 am
    plain ones are meant to be eaten with coffee!
  18. Profile photo of tobyvictory
    tobyvictory Male 70 & Over
    407 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 9:10 am
    "what it says about Americans that they could spell a nut made of dough `donut` I will leave to you"

    The spelling "donut" was introduced by Dunkin Donuts. After so long it became part of the American lexicon. The correct spelling even in America is "doughnut" even though Opera`s spell check doesn`t think so. And as everyone knows, there are a lot of lazy, sheep over on this side of the pond. But this isn`t anything new, Aspirin was once a brand name, but it was used so often as a generic term for pain relievers that it became a word with a definition. Also the world over, people today are bastardizing all languages since the advent of texting. You see the slang everywhere, not just in texts.
  19. Profile photo of tyger9575
    tyger9575 Male 30-39
    297 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 9:14 am
    Congratulations! All the whiners have managed to argue with a kid! Does it make you feel better about yourselves now? Why not just go all the way and beat up a wheelchair-bound midget with scoleosis and Down`s Syndrome? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Dee-duh-dee!
  20. Profile photo of Student_Law
    Student_Law Male 30-39
    1010 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 9:17 am
    This is the gluttony of the typical American child, overwhelming it`s long lost sense of business.

    Only a few decades ago an American child would rest assured that this piece of grease- drenched ring of fast carbohydrates had a purpose, to fulfill a part of the market that in the end met the needs of someone with a different taste than him.

    The young and promising businessman is long gone, and left is the little 200 pound 11 year old garbage disposal - built to feast on McDonald`s, brainwashed by a hypnotizing screen, scared inside his walls by FOX news, only to die from a heart attack at 33 - 22 years after he declared that a grease- ring was not a grease- ring; because it did not meet his expectations of brightly colorized chemical visualization that his food for sure must meet.
  21. Profile photo of Jury1of1
    Jury1of1 Male 30-39
    132 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 10:28 am
    @Student_Law
    You must be a hit at all the parties.
  22. Profile photo of evanbartlett
    evanbartlett Male 30-39
    559 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 11:05 am
    I had my first `Dunkin` Donut` a few weeks ago when I was visiting NY. (Why I never had one in Boston is still a mystery.) It was actually pretty gross. Sure, it`s a doughnut (donut, whatever) so it is full of fat and sugar, but save the inherent doughnut-ness of it, it was pretty poor. The coffee was simply horrendous. Truck-stop watered-down swill. I`ll keep my Peet`s Coffee in the Bay Area, thank you very much.
  23. Profile photo of evanbartlett
    evanbartlett Male 30-39
    559 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 11:08 am
    Oh, regarding the kid, I was impressed with his/her sense of humor and ability to draw a story from a brief observation. Appreciating the classics may be a dying art form, but good writing is even rarer.
  24. Profile photo of greenbasterd
    greenbasterd Male 18-29
    2377 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 11:09 am
    actually its cake.. bagels were made by accident one day when a baker forgot the yeast!!!!! do you damn research kid!!!!
  25. Profile photo of Magickrat
    Magickrat Male 40-49
    535 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 11:24 am
    Also have to say, all the words are spelled correctly, proper grammar was used & the handwriting is actually the neatest I`ve seen in a while. All 3 are rarities amongst children these days. This one is worthy of the fridge door IMHO...
  26. Profile photo of Magickrat
    Magickrat Male 40-49
    535 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 11:25 am
    @Student Law
    I think that stick up your arse might be making you a bit irritable...
  27. Profile photo of jinxiejae
    jinxiejae Female 30-39
    2928 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 12:07 pm
    i can understand his reasoning, i always felt that a cupcake without frosting is nothing more than a glorified muffin.
  28. Profile photo of dude21862004
    dude21862004 Male 18-29
    768 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 12:10 pm
    It`s called an old-fashioned and it`s delicious...
  29. Profile photo of Keyh
    Keyh Male 18-29
    226 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm
    "Also have to say, all the words are spelled correctly, proper grammar was used & the handwriting is actually the neatest I`ve seen in a while. All 3 are rarities amongst children these days. This one is worthy of the fridge door IMHO..."

    While the grammar is miles better than most people I know, it`s still not completely accurate.
  30. Profile photo of greenbasterd
    greenbasterd Male 18-29
    2377 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 1:17 pm
    "Also have to say, all the words are spelled correctly, proper grammar was used & the handwriting is actually the neatest I`ve seen in a while. All 3 are rarities amongst children these days. This one is worthy of the fridge door IMHO..."

    i know right? and hes only 20
  31. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25408 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm
    stupid arguement
  32. Profile photo of NOCASH
    NOCASH Male 18-29
    423 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 5:22 pm
    Kid is a better writer then me,and totally right about these fake doughnuts.
  33. Profile photo of YANKmyDOODLE
    YANKmyDOODLE Male 30-39
    771 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 5:55 pm
    doughnuts are not bagels. stupid kid.
  34. Profile photo of leesah
    leesah Female 18-29
    1566 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 7:17 pm
    old fashioned doughnuts are amazing, this kid is ignorant as hell.
  35. Profile photo of SarahofBorg
    SarahofBorg Female 18-29
    3564 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 7:38 pm
    If you`re going to actually dunk your doughnut the frosting and glazes are just going to ruin your coffee.
  36. Profile photo of SarahofBorg
    SarahofBorg Female 18-29
    3564 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 7:42 pm
    evanbartlett, I agree. I`ve lived in the Boston area my whole life and I even briefly worked at Dunkin Donuts and they seriously make the worst coffee on the planet. Their staff is made entirely of druggies and illegal immigrants who wouldn`t know coffee from used engine oil.
    The donuts are decent though. You really can`t screw up a doughnut. But Krispy Creme is 10,000 times better.
  37. Profile photo of Squrlz4Sale
    Squrlz4Sale Male 40-49
    6230 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 7:42 pm
    donut with maple sugar frosting and a black coffee = culinary orgasm
  38. Profile photo of Edgarska19
    Edgarska19 Male 18-29
    1045 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 8:23 pm
    @SarahofBorg
    Flash news: coffee is not exclusive to the U.S., illegal immigrants make some of the best coffee ever, specially Colombian and Mexican immigrants.
  39. Profile photo of robosnitz
    robosnitz Male 40-49
    2737 posts
    March 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm
    LMAO!!!!! I like those donuts for dunking in my coffee, but she`s right,lol. There about as good as a dunkin donuts bagel.
  40. Profile photo of PringleMan
    PringleMan Female 13-17
    1356 posts
    March 20, 2012 at 11:39 pm
    haha, I like this kid, but plain is my favourite un-flavour.
  41. Profile photo of kinky_afr0
    kinky_afr0 Male 18-29
    583 posts
    March 22, 2012 at 8:52 pm
    @robosnitz....where does it say the writer is female??? stupid americans

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